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Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:
Here are the glorious winners:
1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Free Weird T-Shirts
We often buy batches of surplus t-shirts and imprint them with messages regarding issues that are important to us. For instance, we have recently distributed, free, hundreds of t-shirts like the one featured below:

Don't be a victim of corruption: Buy your OWN Seattle City Councilman
Customers should know that the t-shirts we buy in bulk for campaigns like the above, and many others, are not the shirts we sell on this site. The quality of the shirts we buy in bulk varies greatly, usually from low to lower, and we use the most inexpensive methods possible for imprinting images -- certainly not the clean, crisp, professional methods we use on our garments for resale. Free shirts such as the one shown above are designed merely to convey a message, not to illustrate the quality of our shirts. We couldn't possibly afford to give away, for free, the quality shirts we sell to customers.
Seattle residents may order a t-shirt like the above, for free (simply pay shipping) by inquiring through our contact page, while supplies last (not expected to last beyond October, 2005).
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Sadly, tragically, this shirt could name just about any city council in any city in America and it certainly speaks the documented Truth -- especially about Seattle. It happens, in this instance, to name the Seattle City Council because Washington's where we happen to live and do business. That'll change soon due to Washington's new law taxing Internet customers from ALL states, but that's another story. The Seattle City Council is, after all, one of the most inept, incompetent, lazy, dishonest, corrupt councils in these United States. Do we actually hope to accomplish anything by sending out hundreds of t-shirts berating this dubious little gang? Of course not. These people have illustrated over and over and over and over ad nauseam that they cannot be embarassed into honor, decency, honesty or competence; neither can they be threatened by law enforcement (agencies exactly as corrupt) to do the right thing, and they possess no apparent morality of their own. They simply don't get it, and they never will. Western Washington is not the most corrupt region of America, but it's right up there in the top three or four. All we hope to accomplish by distributing such messages en masse is to relieve a bit of tension....for us and for you. Did it help?
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