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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-8
Remember The Time You Saved That Cat? And No One Noticed?
Save this pup and be famous forever.
(That cutie at the office will be impressed.)
Trust us. We make heroes for a living. ;-)
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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics |
| Puppy lodged in tree near 11th Street park. Tragedy Averted for Pup Local Man Saves the Day Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.) A puppy found itself in a bizarre predicament Friday as it was discovered wedged in the fork of a tree near the 11th street park. Fire units responded to the call around noon, when several children noticed the dog. The puppy was approximately forty five feet off the ground, and the children were unable to climb that high to rescue it. John Decker, of the Kent Fire Dept., said, "We got a hi-rigger (bucket boom) on the scene, and tried to get it up to the dog, but the area was strewn with power lines and other tree branches. It was going to be a long and tedious process to get the bucket up to the dog. Frankly, we didn't think the puppy would stay stuck in the tree like that---it looked like he would slip out at any moment. We weren't sure what we were going to do." Several minutes after the first units arrived, a passerby stopped and asked firemen to help him hold a large blanket near the base of the tree, so as to catch the pooch if it fell. Meanwhile, Casey Jones was watching the bizarre event unfold from a nearby drive-in where he was spending his lunch hour. Casey is a dispatcher for a local trucking company, Dart International. "I knew the puppy didn't have much time left," said Jones. "It was barely wedged in there. It could fall at any second." Firefighters said that while they pondered their next move, a man bolted from the drive-in, ran straight to the tree, and just started shinning up like a monkey. That man was Casey Jones. But Jones was almost too late. When he was only about five feet below the pup, it wriggled loose and fell. "I figured that was it for the pup," said Jones. But luck was on everyone's side. As the dog fell straight toward Jones, it glanced off a branch. That deflected the pup's path so that it was going to miss the blanket that was being held to catch it. Jones let go of the tree with his hands, then swung out and tried to snatch the dog in mid-air. He didn't quite get it, but he was able to alter its fall just enough so that the firemen on the ground could catch it in their blanket. "Casey slipped down the tree about eight feet after that," said a fireman. "We thought we were going to lose him then, instead of the dog. But he managed to grab a big branch as he slid past it, and caught himself. He (Jones) was able to get down from there." The pooch was fine---and apparently very glad to be on the ground again. Jones suffered minor scrapes and cuts, but says he'd do it again, anytime. The pooch's owner had not been located as of press time, and speculation continues as to how the lucky little dog got up there in the first place. Aliens? See 'Strange and Bizarre', Page D-5 |
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