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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-70
20,000 Leagues Under the Pond...
You feel good.
You feel strong.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsSCUBA Divers struggle to photograph sea creature
Bizarre Sea Creature Caught
"It's about time we got some hard evidence!"
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
"Between ourselves, and various law enforcement agencies in the state, we log around 1100 reports of strange or bizarre sea creatures in Washington State each year. Most are reported in salt water, but many claims come from sightings in fresh water, as well," explained Darcia Melbourne, with Washington's Department of Fisheries. "Virtually every single one of those reports can be explained away as...logs, seals, debris, flotsam, garbage, you name it. Never once have we been able to get hard data (the creature itself) for study and corroboration. This (catch) is just spellbinding. It's the most exciting thing I've run across in my career---it's the most exciting find I've ever heard of in the field of marine biology."
Numerous scientists and experts seem to mirror Ms. Melbourne's enthusiasm.
"The most persuasive aspect of this whole case is that the creature was alive when first submitted to us," said Jon Bolero, with the University of Washington Marine Biology Department. "That rules out any kind of fraud---unless the prankster has the gift of life, and that's doubtful. This is a real creature. And we haven't got a clue what it is."
Three SCUBA divers spotted, photographed and then captured the critter while sport diving at Edmond's Underwater Park.
"Sure, we were terrified," admitted Casey Jones, one of the trio. "But this....this was something you just can't pass up. This is the catch of a lifetime-of three lifetimes. We just can't believe it!"
Scientists speculated openly on the creature's features, namely, the human-looking ears on both sides of its head.
"We won't know what we've got until we get in there," commented one expert, (meaning when an autopsy is performed), "And that will be a ways down the road."
The creature is being frozen at the U of W, and will be made available to researchers around the world.
See Sport Divers, Page D-5
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Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $62.90, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 copies
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Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
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Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 3 copiesFor "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
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-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
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