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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-7
Want to Make a Point?
It's "the Nineties".
Oops---It's even later than that.
Employees are working more for less.
Job security's a myth.
The perks have perked.
Get even.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsDouble-decker outhouse says "Management" and "Employees"
New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse
A Joke in the Poorest Taste? Or Something More Sinister?
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
An unlikely structure was discovered in front of the Acme warehouse in Kent, this morning. And no one seems to know how it got there.
Workers arrived for their early morning shift on Thursday to find a "double-decker outhouse" sitting in front of the customer load-out dock. On the top level, there is a sign which says "Management", and the sign on the lower unit, directly below that, reads: "Employees". The hole from the top unit empties directly onto the head of someone who might sit in the lower unit.
"This is in the poorest possible taste," commented Paul Johnson, an executive with the firm. "We can't believe that anyone would think this is funny."
Eric Smith, manager of the complex, vowed to get to the bottom of the stunt. "Whoever did this will pay the price," said Mr. Smith. "We have little management / employee disagreements from time to time, like any large company, but this....this is just disgusting."
Several hourly employees milled around the spectacle during their break periods. Most thought the whole thing was hilarious.
"This is in the best possible taste," John Walker chuckled. "I'd like to meet the man responsible for this and shake his hand."
Pete Ogden didn't quite agree. "This is just going to cause us trouble," he said. "Management will be out to get us for sure, now."
Secretary Carol Joy refused comment altogether, while Dave Smothers thought it was all just mild entertainment with no political agenda attached. "It's just good, clean fun," commented Mr. Smothers. "Personally, I think Gary James is responsible. That's what I've heard, anyhow."
Acme management was busily trying to make arrangements to have the "atrocity" removed and disposed of; however the outhouse remained as of press time.
"This is not good advertising," lamented one member of the management team who asked to be identified as "Caryl. "When I find the responsible party, there'll be some blood-letting. And you can count on it."
Write Your Own Fake Newspapers From Scratch
Questions about Fake Newspapers? Try Our FAQs First!
View Optional Format SamplesInstructions:
Personalize and SUBMIT the form.
Then click "CONTINUE" to go to the payment page.
Follow the flow through the Shopping Cart check-out.
To make corrections please submit a new form. Once
your new form has been submitted, you're done. DO NOT
go through the payment process again unless to wish to
pay for and receive additional newspapers.To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copiesFor "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
Or....choose from three OTHER options:
Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95)
Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).
Upload your own complete newspaper page layout (from $39.95)
Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Remember!
-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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