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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-47
A Little Intrigue, Anyone?
Written for those who want to inject a little hard-core mystery into their lives. All locations adjusted to your specs, of course.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsVessel scuttled and abandoned. CG searches Keys
Hoard of Rare Cigars Smuggled from Cuba
"This case gets curiouser and curiouser," say US Customs Officials. "It's mystery heaped on intrigue."
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
US Coast Guard Officials ended their search today for the occupants and crew of an old wooden luxury yacht which eluded law enforcement agencies and was finally found scuttled and abandoned in a remote area of the (Florida) Keys.
US Customs has taken over the case.
"They're professionals," admitted George Applegate, spokesman for the Miami office. "And they're good."
The whole thing began when US officials received word from certain unofficial entities within the Cuban government that a "significant" theft had been effected by unknown Americans, against a secure warehouse in Havana owned by the Castro regime. Reportedly, the thieves got away with "about twenty two tons" of "pre-Cohiba Lanceros" (cigars). It is unknown why the Castro government was holding such a large cache of such a rare product.
"It may be just a case of hoarding," said Emile Francisca, Customs Offical. "It's odd though, because Castro was reported to have stockpiled the 'Trinidad' cigar, which was reportedly one of his favorites. But why he'd be hoarding such a large quantity of these (Lanceros) is beyond us at this time."
Indeed, the plot thickens as US officials are informed by official channels in Cuba that no such cigars ever existed in any government-owned warehouse, and, further, that no such cigars were stolen.
But US Coast Guard officials disagree: "We know the yacht docked in Cuba. We know Cuban authorities 'interacted' with a number of Americans. We know the yacht departed in a hurry, possibly under fire from Cuban authorities. We tried to intercept the vessel; it eluded us. These are all facts. Once we found the yacht scuttled in the Keys, it was searched, and several hundred pounds of the pre-Cohiba Lanceros were found in the hold. The evidence suggests that the yacht carried many times that amount-perhaps as much as twenty two tons. The street value of that many is almost incalculable."
Customs has few clues in the case. They are seeking two "persons of interest", Mr. and Mrs. Robert and Carol Jones, who are believed to have been involved in the incident. "These folks aren't 'suspects' per se," commented Customs Officials in Ft. Lauderdale. "We're not sure exactly what their involvement was. But we are seeking them, and we do need to speak with them without delay."
See Cigars at Sotheby's Page C-1
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click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
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Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
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Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
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of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Remember!
-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
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