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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-40
Surf Bums Get All the Gurls
Thirty foot curlers in Washington State or New York Harbor? Naw... But if it's in print, it must be true. See how long you can keep 'em going at the local pub. Our guess? Forever.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsLocal man shows talent
Biggest Surf in 40 Years Hits Washington Coast
Only the bravest and most intrepid surfers try these waves
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
The biggest surf in over 40 years hit the central Washington coast over the weekend, sending many to watch, few to surf.
"This is big, big stuff," said one man who stood on the beach with board in hand---but who never went in the water.
"The sets in this part of the world come much closer together," said Casey Jones, one of the few who did surf. "A 30 foot wave here is much more challenging than a 30 footer in the lower latitudes. This is some heart-stopping stuff out here today," he grinned.
Casey says he's a "mid-level" surfer, but many who called themselves experts or pros never got their feet wet, saying they "just weren't used to conditions in this part of the world." A prudent stance, perhaps.
The Coast Guard station at Westport publicly announced that surfing was "not advised" in current conditions. "We see very few surfers this far north," said Petty Officer John Hanks. "We're not really equipped to deal with emergencies involving swimmers in the surf. The beach has no lifeguards, and by the time we got a rescue 41 (footer) out there, it would almost certainly be too late."
Those intrepids like Casey Jones said they accepted the risks.
"We're not asking to be rescued," he said. "We're out here on our own, and we'll take our chances. Thanks for the concern though!"
The mammoth conditions only lasted about six hours. When the tide changed, the seas calmed, and even the tourists went home.
See El Nino Lingers Page D-5
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click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $62.90, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 3 copies
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Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 copies
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-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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