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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-4
This Silly Story's About as Likely as They Get
Got a friend or co-worker who's boring you to death about their latest alien abduction experience? Tell 'em you've been abducted too---and here's the proof.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsVictim asserts alien photo is genuine
First Documented Abduction
Dozens of Witnesses in Mall Parking Lot
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
A Kent woman, Casey Jones has filed a report with the Pierce County Sheriff's office claiming that she was abducted by aliens while attempting to unlock her car door after shopping at Auburn's Supermall. Dozens of witnesses support the allegation.
"I was just getting in my car to go home," said Casey. "I was tired. I'd been shopping for hours. All of a sudden, I heard this weird kind of 'whirring' noise. I looked up, and there it was---a bright light was right above me. It was coming from the bottom of a disk-shaped craft. I could see little aliens looking at me out of small portholes. Then the light got even brighter, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the pavement next to my car, and there were people standing all around me."
Witnesses corroborate virtually every detail of Casey's statement. Apparently the Kent resident was "beamed" into the saucer, then spirited away for "about an hour". Then the craft returned, and deposited Ms. Jones right back next to her car.
Casey has subsequently undergone extensive hypnosis therapy, which also tends to support her entire story.
"A lot was revealed during hypnosis," said Casey. "For instance, they (the aliens) told me that they are very concerned for our environment. They told me that I must spread the word and convince the world's population to stop polluting. It's a huge responsibility. They also seemed very concerned over the current world shortage of Rocky Road ice cream. This seems to be one of their most profound priorities. They want me to appeal to the ice cream industries of the world to step up production of this vital food source. They warn that there could be 'serious consequences' if this is not done. I don't know what they mean by that," she added.
Other than that, though, Casey says the aliens are friendly, intelligent, and witty, demonstrating a peculiar strain of dry humor.
"Before they dropped me off," continued Ms. Jones. "We buzzed the White House and made all their lights flick on and off. Those little guys laughed and laughed. It was a blast."
The investigation is continuing.
See 'Indications of a Growing Alien Threat' Page D-5
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click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
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Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copiesFor "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
Or....choose from three OTHER options:
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Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).
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Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Remember!
-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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