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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-38
Ah, the Life of the International Adventurer
Lots of folks like to send this back home if they've been on an extended vacation. Makes their children think they're getting close to inheritance---only to have their dreams dashed when the truth is revealed. Of course, sometimes it never is revealed.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphicsRubber Raft Floats to Earth Like a Leaf. Sort of.
Local Skydivers Take to the Raft
"It was just a lark," said organizer Casey Jones
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
A number of Tacoma skydivers got together over the long weekend to have some fun.
They "abandoned ship" as it were, from 9,000 feet near Mt. Rainier, and took to the life raft.
"The raft would only fit three of us," said Casey Jones, the man responsible for thinking up the stunt. "So we drew straws. I got to sit in the middle between Bob Hernandez and Eddie Jones. I figured I could use them as padding in case my chute didn't open," he chuckled.
The skydivers who weren't in the boat spread out and deployed their chutes at about 3,000 feet. But Jones and the others stayed with the boat all the way down to 1000 feet.
"It was floating along so nicely, none of us wanted to get out."
The raft hit the ground in a vacant field and was completely undamaged after a couple of bounces.
"We'll use it again sometime," said Hernandez, who was the one who shelled out the $89.95 to buy the raft at K-Mart. "That's a quality ship."
This was Jones's first jump.
"I wasn't scared," he said. "I was tethered to Hernandez! I figured I was perfectly safe, knowing how cheap that guy is. He'd never let anything happen to that boat. It's his most valued possession."
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click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $62.90, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 3 copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 9 copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 copies
Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 3 copiesFor "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
Remember!
-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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