Ask a Question    TrixiePixieGraphics.com™    Channel54News.com™     Gag Gifts & Art, More Fun than a Halter-Top Full of Ferrets Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - Fake Ultrasounds - KubeKompanion ABOUT SHIPPING TrixiePixie Graphics™      Store Rating    About Shipping    View Cart/Checkout Fraudsters and Shysters and Thieves, Oh My!   Fraudsters and Shysters and Thieves, Oh My! Illegal to publish, broadcast, rewrite or redistribute -- Copyright © 1982 - 2009 TrixiePixie Graphics™ -- All Rights Reserved You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money! As Seen on TV Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-36 A Great Little Shark Attack And another entry for the divers in your life. Could've happened. It did, didn't it? Remember that time---- (the law says we have to have one of each---a UFO story and something about shark attacks. So don't blame us) Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics Diver swims frantically to avoid second attack---to no avail Local Man Returns Home After San Diego Shark Attack "I'm just glad to be back in shark-free waters!" says victim. Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.) A Tacoma man, Casey Jones, is resting comfortably this evening after surviving a harrowing shark attack while visiting relatives in the San Diego area. "We were down about 90 feet, looking for Abalone, when we started seeing big, dark shapes all around us. This little shark came in real fast and chomped Casey's leg. Casey knocked it in the head with his Abalone knife and it went away, but I could see a cloud of blood coming from Casey's leg, and then right away the other, bigger ones came in. One swam right past me to get to Casey's bloody leg. It was a rush, for sure." Jones thought he'd gotten away clean when he fought off the smaller shark. "But when I saw the big one coming, I swam like you couldn't believe," recounted Jones. "I didn't even feel that leg." The second, much larger shark circled Jones once, then went directly for the kill. "It was amazing," said Jones. "I saw him coming, I knew he wasn't going to waste time circling again, with all the other sharks around there. I couldn't begin to out-swim him. I tried to think of something to use as a weapon, but all I had was my Abalone knife, and it was like a twig against a fish this big. I pretty much figured that was it. End of the game." "I was trying to think of maybe some way to distract the shark," said Jones's friend. "Maybe I could conk it with my camera. But then I realized I couldn't get to Casey in time. There was nothing I could do but watch. I was so horrified that I let the camera slip out of my hand, and it sank down to the bottom." As the shark closed in, it opened its mouth. But Jones was lucky twice in a row. "It seemed like I could just slip right into that mouth and never come out again," said Jones. "But when it finally chomped down, it chomped right onto my SCUBA tank. I could hear its teeth grating on the aluminum, like fingernails on a blackboard. For a minute, I thought, 'You dumb (expletive). This serves you right.' I figured at least the shark was going to break a few teeth before finishing me off." But it seems the shark didn't like anything about the taste of Casey Jones or his SCUBA gear. After that one initial bite into the tank, it swam off and didn't return. The two divers didn't waste any time getting out of the water. "Sure, I'm glad to be alive," admitted Jones. "My leg's still pretty sore, but what the heck. Now I have a story to tell." See First Giant Squid Captured Page D-5 View NEXT Fake Newspaper  Write Your Own Fake Newspapers From Scratch Questions about Fake Newspapers? Try Our FAQs First! View Optional Format Samples Email Instructions: Personalize and SUBMIT the form. Then click "CONTINUE" to go to the payment page. Follow the flow through the Shopping Cart check-out. To make corrections please submit a new form. Once your new form has been submitted, you're done. DO NOT go through the payment process again unless to wish to pay for and receive additional newspapers. To create your own story from scratch, using your own main image, please click HERE instead of using this form. Volume Discounts are available during checkout Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 copies Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 copies Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 copies Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 copies Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, 10 copies Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 copies Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 3 copies Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 9 copies Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 copies Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 copies Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 3 copies For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here Remember! ----- Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE We accept: American Express, Master Card, Visa, Discover Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'. Delete any unwanted text in any field Type NONE in any fields you want left blank *Article Number C-1 BASE Jumper C-2 Bear Finds Way to Town C-3 Screw Loose X-Ray C-4 Fakey Alien Abduction C-5 Human Ape Baby C-6 Lotto Winner C-7 Two Story Outhouse C-8 Puppy in a Tree C-9 Skydiving Car C-10 Slacker Award C-11 UFO Sighting C-12 Wanted for Grisly Murder C-13 Outlaw Bikers C-14 Save an Airliner C-15 Ten Passenger Motorcycle C-16 Beauty Pageant Winner C-17 Mile High Club (plane stuck in wires) C-18 Computer Toilet C-19 Meteor Hits Local Home C-20 Not Used C-21 Bungee Biker C-22 Machine Gun Fisherman C-23 DB Cooper Found Alive C-24 KKK Grand Wizard C-25 Santa Claus Killer C-26 Reptile Woman C-27 Trucker Hits Bridge C-28 My Anus C-29 Street Walker C-30 Ferry Sinks C-31 Mugger Gets Ass Kicked C-32 Best Employee Award C-33 Monorail Stoppee C-34 Vessel Raised from the Deep C-35 Kirby Hat Diver C-36 Shark Attack C-37 Grand Canyon Motorcycle Jump C-38 Rubber Raft Skydivers C-39 Naked Man in Carwash C-40 Big Surf C-41 Beat Up the Devil C-42 No Life on Mars C-43 Prop Diver C-44 World's Largest Penis on Record C-45 Fondled by President Clinton C-46 Mother of the Year C-47 Cuban Cigar Smugglers C-48 Biker Races Seattle Monorail C-49 Narrows Bridge Biker Stunt C-50 Castro's Cigar Gift C-51 Seattle Monorail Bear C-52 Eiffel Tower Comes to Your Town C-53 Moon Knocked Out of Orbit C-54 Second Face on Mars Confirmed C-55 BASE Jumper Arrested Downtown C-56 Croc Found in Sewer C-57 Record Pompano (fish) Caught C-58 Happy Valentine's Day C-59 New Olympics Event C-60 ER Bottle Incident C-61 Bears Downtown C-62 Giraffe on the Loose C-63 Female Streaker C-64 Pizza Blimp Crash C-65 Industrial Park Bear C-66 Balloon Man Flies C-67 New Traffic Lights Erected C-68 Fake Your Own Death C-69 Bridge to Hawaii C-70 Scary Fish C-71 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-72 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-73 Monorail Crash C-74 Meteor Shower C-75 Fortean Blobs C-76 Human Organ Thieves C-77 Stock Market Crash C-78 V-16 Motorcycle C-79 Demi Moore or Memorex C-80 Naked Men Arrested C-81 Alien Implant C-82 Experimental Black Hole Out of Control C-83 Britney Spears C-84 Not Used C-85 Not Used C-86 Not Used C-87 Not Used C-88 Country Bought by US C-89 Derby Winner C-90 Not Used C-91 Brown Noser C-92 Police Ask for Help C-93 Crop Circle C-94 Smallest Penis in the World C-95 Dance Studio C-96 Not Used C-97 Goat Molester C-98 Horsing Around C-99 Head Up Ass C-100 Old Woman Hooker C-101 Broken Penis C-102 Public Exposure C-103 Viagra Fatality C-104 Male Prostitution C-105 Bottle Stuck Up Butt C-106 Not Used C-107 Mysterious Flying Rods C-108 Birthday Cake Fire C-109 Space Cows on Mars C-110 Killer Deer Kicks Hunter's Ass C-111 Killer Deer Gets Eaten C-112 Freeway Sign Hacked C-113 Marriage Vaccine C-114 Surfer Shark Attack C-115 Alien Anal Probe C-116 Osama bin Laden Captured Alive C-117 Penis Stuck in Fan C-118 Terrorist Arrested C-119 Not Used C-120 Smart Bombs Not so Smart C-121 Write Your Own Obituary C-122 Doing Atkins C-123 Arnold Schwarzenegger C-124 Haunt the House of Your Choice C-125 Not Used C-126 Michael Jackson Molests Your Dad C-127 Write Your Own Horoscope C-128 Largest Ball of Pubic Hair C-129 Not Used C-130 Santa Barbara PD Goes Crazy C-131 Jennifer Wilbanks Spoiled Brat C-132 Laura Bush / Teresa Kerry C-133 Judicial System Disbanded C-134 Not Used C-135 Not Used C-136 Not Used C-137 Not Used C-138 Not Used C-139 Not Used C-140 Not Used C-141 Not Used C-142 Not Used C-143 Not Used C-144 Not Used C-145 Not Used C-146 Not Used C-147 Not Used C-148 Not Used C-149 Not Used C-150 Not Used C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own   *Your First Name 25 characters remaining. *Your Last Name 25 characters remaining. *Email: *Verify Email: *Date of Newspaper This prints! 30 characters remaining. *Newspaper Name This prints! 35 characters remaining. *Newspaper Headline (whole & poster ONLY!) 60 characters remaining. *Image Description 150 characters remaining. *Article Headline 80 characters remaining. *Byline 20 characters remaining. *Story Location 20 characters remaining. *Main Story Text 2100 chars for small size 4500 chars for other sizes 4500 characters remaining. *I agree to check my email in case there are questions about my order YES Freeway Sign Text (Complete this field for C-112 ONLY!) 40 characters remaining. Trophy Text (Complete this field for C-16 or C-32 ONLY!) 20 characters remaining. Valentine Message (Complete this field for C-58 ONLY!) 140 characters remaining. Main Image Upload (if any) Inset Image Upload (if any) *Have You Included Any Images (above)? YES NO *Size & Format for this Story? -= Select =- SMALL ($16.95) (10 copies) FULL ($24.95) (3 copies) WHOLE ($39.95) (2 copies) <<--- Standard Order POSTER ($49.95) (1 copy) TABLOID ($24.95) (3 copies)   *I understand I may NEVER email with corrections, changes, or updates to my story. I agree to SUBMIT A NEW FORM for corrections YES *I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes YES Copyright © 1982-2009 TrixiePixGraphics.Com, All Rights Reserved View Size and Format Options Here