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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-36
A Great Little Shark Attack
And another entry for the divers in your life. Could've happened. It did, didn't it? Remember that time---- (the law says we have to have one of each---a UFO story and something about shark attacks. So don't blame us)
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics Diver swims frantically to avoid second attack---to no avail
Local Man Returns Home After San Diego Shark Attack
"I'm just glad to be back in shark-free waters!" says victim.
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
A Tacoma man, Casey Jones, is resting comfortably this evening after surviving a harrowing shark attack while visiting relatives in the San Diego area.
"We were down about 90 feet, looking for Abalone, when we started seeing big, dark shapes all around us. This little shark came in real fast and chomped Casey's leg. Casey knocked it in the head with his Abalone knife and it went away, but I could see a cloud of blood coming from Casey's leg, and then right away the other, bigger ones came in. One swam right past me to get to Casey's bloody leg. It was a rush, for sure."
Jones thought he'd gotten away clean when he fought off the smaller shark. "But when I saw the big one coming, I swam like you couldn't believe," recounted Jones. "I didn't even feel that leg."
The second, much larger shark circled Jones once, then went directly for the kill.
"It was amazing," said Jones. "I saw him coming, I knew he wasn't going to waste time circling again, with all the other sharks around there. I couldn't begin to out-swim him. I tried to think of something to use as a weapon, but all I had was my Abalone knife, and it was like a twig against a fish this big. I pretty much figured that was it. End of the game."
"I was trying to think of maybe some way to distract the shark," said Jones's friend. "Maybe I could conk it with my camera. But then I realized I couldn't get to Casey in time. There was nothing I could do but watch. I was so horrified that I let the camera slip out of my hand, and it sank down to the bottom."
As the shark closed in, it opened its mouth. But Jones was lucky twice in a row.
"It seemed like I could just slip right into that mouth and never come out again," said Jones. "But when it finally chomped down, it chomped right onto my SCUBA tank. I could hear its teeth grating on the aluminum, like fingernails on a blackboard. For a minute, I thought, 'You dumb (expletive). This serves you right.' I figured at least the shark was going to break a few teeth before finishing me off."
But it seems the shark didn't like anything about the taste of Casey Jones or his SCUBA gear. After that one initial bite into the tank, it swam off and didn't return. The two divers didn't waste any time getting out of the water.
"Sure, I'm glad to be alive," admitted Jones. "My leg's still pretty sore, but what the heck. Now I have a story to tell."
See First Giant Squid Captured Page D-5
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To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
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Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copies
For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
Or....choose from three OTHER options:
Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).
Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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