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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

As Seen on TV

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-14

Save a Doomed Airliner? No Sweat.

Fake Newspaper Article c-14.jpg (420612 bytes)

One of our writers still enjoys a childhood dream: He wants to find himself aboard an airliner, and to have the Captain come back and ask him if he knows how to fly a crippled aircraft. Our man says, "Sure." And proceeds to save them all. Our records show there are a lot of other folks sharing that same dream. Just do it.

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics
Airliner "drags" in low and slow at SeaTac; smoke billows, crowds gather

Another Emergency Landing at SeaTac

Passenger Plays Critical Role in Dangerous Landing

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

A Confederated airliner made an emergency landing at SeaTac International Airport last week after developing a malfunction in-flight.

Alaska Air flight 345 was grounded at LAX due to a computer glitch in scheduling, so 119 passengers were rerouted to the Confederate flight as a courtesy by Alaska Air.

"We thought we were doing our customers a kindness (by re-routing them to another flight)," said Darlene McKinley, spokesperson for the airline. "Of course we had no way of knowing something like this would happen."

The flight was enroute to Seattle when one engine displayed a fire warning at 34,000 feet.

"Everything had been uneventful until then," commented the co-pilot. "When we were forced to shut down the starboard engine, the plane naturally yawed. But the yaw was extreme and the cause of such an extreme yaw was unknown to us at the time. Apparently the fire in that engine had weakened a large section of the wing, and that section was causing the drag that caused the yaw. It's kind of like you're flying sideways," the co-pilot added. "It's very uncomfortable and the plane is quite hard to handle in that configuration."

The pilot had his hands full controlling the plane, while the co-pilot was forced to place both feet on the left hand rudder pedal to keep the plane from yawing even more.

"That engine kept re-igniting," said Shirley Andersen, senior flight attendant on the flight. "We had to keep pulling the fire handle to put out the fire. I had to do that, since the flight crew was busy keeping us in the air. But we also had quite a few of the passengers with emergencies of their own. We had two heart attacks in First Class alone. That's when Mr. Jones stepped up to the cockpit and asked if he could help."

"I'll be honest with you-we were glad to have him," the co-pilot continued. "We put Casey to work at the Halon control, and whenever we got a flare-up in the starboard engine, Casey fired the (fire) suppressant and knocked the flames down. We were only about 20 minutes out of SeaTac by that time, but it was still a long 20 minutes. We all applaud Mr. Jones. He was a great help and we won't forget him."

The plane landed safely at Sea-Tac.

See Airline Safety Page D-5

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Volume Discounts are available during checkout

Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 3 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 9 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 3 identical copies

For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here

 

Or....choose from three OTHER options:

 

Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95)

Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).

Upload your own complete newspaper page layout (from $39.95)

Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.

Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)

Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).


Remember!

-----

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE


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