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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-135
Local man comes out of monkey-ass closet
This particular article has no associated image

Local man revealed as part monkey
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics |
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Local man comes out of monkey-ass closet
Monkey-ass man discovered
By Mike Peters
AP Reporter
Yourtown—
Casey Jones always knew he was different. "It was especially bad in gym class in high school," he admits. "Kids can be mean."
Jones has always had a, well, unusual posterier. "I hid it pretty well with baggy pants, and like that, you know."
But Jones couldn't hide his deformity from the world when he was bumped by a car while crossing the street in downtown Manhattan last week.
"The car just bumped me," said Jones. "It didn't even hit me all that hard. But I tripped and went down and hit my head on the curb."
When Jones woke up he was in Presbytarian Hospital, buck naked, with a team of doctors taking his picture.
"And not of my face, either," Jones scowls.
Medical science says it's never seen anything quite like it, and has formally invited Jones to become a poster child for people who suffer severe, debilitating or hilarious deformities.
Said Jones, "That just made me mad, you know?"
Casey has so far declined all offers and has even refused to humor next month's meeting of the zoological society who had asked him to appear on stage in the buff, strictly for "scientific purposes".
Jones concedes that having orangutan genes, to which doctors attribute his orangutan monkey's ass, may have some benefits in life, but so far he can't think of a single damned thing. |
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