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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-135
Local man comes out of monkey-ass closet

This particular article has no associated image


Local man revealed as part monkey

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics

Local man comes out of monkey-ass closet

Monkey-ass man discovered

By Mike Peters
AP Reporter

Yourtown—

Casey Jones always knew he was different. "It was especially bad in gym class in high school," he admits. "Kids can be mean."

Jones has always had a, well, unusual posterier. "I hid it pretty well with baggy pants, and like that, you know."

But Jones couldn't hide his deformity from the world when he was bumped by a car while crossing the street in downtown Manhattan last week.

"The car just bumped me," said Jones. "It didn't even hit me all that hard. But I tripped and went down and hit my head on the curb."

When Jones woke up he was in Presbytarian Hospital, buck naked, with a team of doctors taking his picture.

"And not of my face, either," Jones scowls.

Medical science says it's never seen anything quite like it, and has formally invited Jones to become a poster child for people who suffer severe, debilitating or hilarious deformities.

Said Jones, "That just made me mad, you know?"

Casey has so far declined all offers and has even refused to humor next month's meeting of the zoological society who had asked him to appear on stage in the buff, strictly for "scientific purposes".

Jones concedes that having orangutan genes, to which doctors attribute his orangutan monkey's ass, may have some benefits in life, but so far he can't think of a single damned thing.

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Volume Discounts are available during checkout

Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
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-----

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
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Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE


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