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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-134
Wayward bear gets big surprise
This particular article has no associated image

Local martial arts student gives silly bear second thoughts.
Story by Kate Miller
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics |
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Local martial arts student gives silly bear second thoughts
Local Karate Student Foils Bear Attack
By Mike Peters
AP Reporter
Yourtown—
Local resident and karate student, Casey Jones, was hospitalized yesterday afternoon after surviving what is being described as a vicious bear attack. While hiking through the Olympic National Forest with friends, Jones reported encountering a large male black bear.
“At first I was terrified,” says Jones “it was lumbering towards us, grunting and growling. That’s when I remembered my karate training.”
Witnesses reported seeing Jones charge the bear, landing blow after blow to the animals face, shoulders, and legs. In an attempt to get away the bear then reared back, away from Jones’ flailing hands accidentally knocking her to the ground as it turned on it’s heel and fled the scene.
When questioned about her injuries Jones stated, “I landed funny on my wrist when that weakling went to run away. Other than that I don’t have a scratch on me!”
Olympic National Forest ranger and veterinarian Richard Brun fears more for the bear than Jones‘ sprained wrist. “At first I felt so badly for that poor woman, but after hearing the extent of the abuse she heaped upon the animal I would be more likely to call the incident a vicious human attack.”
Efforts to find the injured bear have begun .
Upon further questioning, forest authorities have reported mixed thoughts on suing Jones for animal cruelty.
“One thing’s for certain,” says Brun “That bear will never be the same.”
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