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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

As Seen on TV

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-131
Jennifer Wilbanks Runaway Bride Products

Jennifer Wilbanks, John Mason, Danny Porter, Mayor Shirley Lasseter, Runaway Bride in Duluth

"The size of the eyes was such a surprise,
But the size of the lies was bigger..."

Jennifer Wilbanks
Convicted Shoplifter and God-Only-Knows-What-Else

Lots of stories make us sick. This is one. Our position is this: If Jennifer Wilbanks wants to act INSANE, more power to her. If John Mason wants to try to forge a relationship with a spoiled whack-job like this, well, that's what life is all about---learning lessons. And he'll learn some doozies with this woman as his wife. The thing we really object to is the squandering of tax dollars in a case like this. We don't know about you, but we paid plenty in taxes last year. Thanks be to Jennifer Wilbanks, we'll pay even more next year. Maybe the District Attorney will make her pay back a portion; maybe he won't. Maybe he'll charge her with the crime(s) she committed, or maybe the good ol' boy network in that part of the country will protect her. Either way, we say: "Let the aliens have her, and her parents too." We herewith nominate Jennifer Wilbanks for our "World Record Spoiled Brat Award". Good freaking grief.

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Volume Discounts are available during checkout

Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 3 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 9 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 3 identical copies

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Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).

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Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.

Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)

Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).

Remember!
-----

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE

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*Article Number	C-1 BASE Jumper C-2 Bear Finds Way to Town C-3 Screw Loose X-Ray C-4 Fakey Alien Abduction C-5 Human Ape Baby C-6 Lotto Winner C-7 Two Story Outhouse C-8 Puppy in a Tree C-9 Skydiving Car C-10 Slacker Award C-11 UFO Sighting C-12 Wanted for Grisly Murder C-13 Outlaw Bikers C-14 Save an Airliner C-15 Ten Passenger Motorcycle C-16 Beauty Pageant Winner C-17 Mile High Club (plane stuck in wires) C-18 Computer Toilet C-19 Meteor Hits Local Home C-20 Not Used C-21 Bungee Biker C-22 Machine Gun Fisherman C-23 DB Cooper Found Alive C-24 KKK Grand Wizard C-25 Santa Claus Killer C-26 Reptile Woman C-27 Trucker Hits Bridge C-28 My Anus C-29 Street Walker C-30 Ferry Sinks C-31 Mugger Gets Ass Kicked C-32 Best Employee Award C-33 Monorail Stoppee C-34 Vessel Raised from the Deep C-35 Kirby Hat Diver C-36 Shark Attack C-37 Grand Canyon Motorcycle Jump C-38 Rubber Raft Skydivers C-39 Naked Man in Carwash C-40 Big Surf C-41 Beat Up the Devil C-42 No Life on Mars C-43 Prop Diver C-44 World's Largest Penis on Record C-45 Fondled by President Clinton C-46 Mother of the Year C-47 Cuban Cigar Smugglers C-48 Biker Races Seattle Monorail C-49 Narrows Bridge Biker Stunt C-50 Castro's Cigar Gift C-51 Seattle Monorail Bear C-52 Eiffel Tower Comes to Your Town C-53 Moon Knocked Out of Orbit C-54 Second Face on Mars Confirmed C-55 BASE Jumper Arrested Downtown C-56 Croc Found in Sewer C-57 Record Pompano (fish) Caught C-58 Happy Valentine's Day C-59 New Olympics Event C-60 ER Bottle Incident C-61 Bears Downtown C-62 Giraffe on the Loose C-63 Female Streaker C-64 Pizza Blimp Crash C-65 Industrial Park Bear C-66 Balloon Man Flies C-67 New Traffic Lights Erected C-68 Fake Your Own Death C-69 Bridge to Hawaii C-70 Scary Fish C-71 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-72 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-73 Monorail Crash C-74 Meteor Shower C-75 Fortean Blobs C-76 Human Organ Thieves C-77 Stock Market Crash C-78 V-16 Motorcycle C-79 Demi Moore or Memorex C-80 Naked Men Arrested C-81 Alien Implant C-82 Experimental Black Hole Out of Control C-83 Britney Spears C-84 Not Used C-85 Not Used C-86 Not Used C-87 Not Used C-88 Country Bought by US C-89 Derby Winner C-90 Not Used C-91 Brown Noser C-92 Police Ask for Help C-93 Crop Circle C-94 Smallest Penis in the World C-95 Dance Studio C-96 Not Used C-97 Goat Molester C-98 Horsing Around C-99 Head Up Ass C-100 Old Woman Hooker C-101 Broken Penis C-102 Public Exposure C-103 Viagra Fatality C-104 Male Prostitution C-105 Bottle Stuck Up Butt C-106 Not Used C-107 Mysterious Flying Rods C-108 Birthday Cake Fire C-109 Space Cows on Mars C-110 Killer Deer Kicks Hunter's Ass C-111 Killer Deer Gets Eaten C-112 Freeway Sign Hacked C-113 Marriage Vaccine C-114 Surfer Shark Attack C-115 Alien Anal Probe C-116 Osama bin Laden Captured Alive C-117 Penis Stuck in Fan C-118 Terrorist Arrested C-119 Not Used C-120 Smart Bombs Not so Smart C-121 Write Your Own Obituary C-122 Doing Atkins C-123 Arnold Schwarzenegger C-124 Haunt the House of Your Choice C-125 Not Used C-126 Michael Jackson Molests Your Dad C-127 Write Your Own Horoscope C-128 Largest Ball of Pubic Hair C-129 Not Used C-130 Santa Barbara PD Goes Crazy C-131 Jennifer Wilbanks Spoiled Brat C-132 Laura Bush / Teresa Kerry C-133 Judicial System Disbanded C-134 Not Used C-135 Not Used C-136 Not Used C-137 Not Used C-138 Not Used C-139 Not Used C-140 Not Used C-141 Not Used C-142 Not Used C-143 Not Used C-144 Not Used C-145 Not Used C-146 Not Used C-147 Not Used C-148 Not Used C-149 Not Used C-150 Not Used C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own
*Your First Name	25 characters remaining.
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*Date of Newspaper This prints!	30 characters remaining.
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*Size & Format for this Story?	-= Select =- SMALL CLIPPINGS (no headline) ($16.95) (10 copies) FULL PAGE (no headline) ($24.95) (3 copies) WHOLE NEWSPAPER (with headline) ($39.95) (2 copies) <<--- Standard Order POSTER (with headline) ($49.95) (1 copy) TABLOID (with headline) ($24.95) (3 copies)
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