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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-128
Largest Ball of Pubic Hair in the World (Man fights Guinness for record listing)
Need to roast a friend, boss, co-worker, politician?
If this doesn't get 'em, they're immune to being got.
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics |
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Ball of pubic hair rivals World’s Largest Ball of Twine Local Man Claims World Record Ball of Pubic Hair By Sammy Smith Spongebob, New Jersey— Local man Casey Jones announced today that he was asking the Guinness Book of World records to proclaim his collection of pubic hair the largest in the world. “I don’t really know how this got started,” commented Casey when asked why on Earth anyone would choose this type of thing to collect. “I started collecting my own, you know — those little hairs you always find on the rim of the toilet bowl. Instead of throwing away a perfectly good handful of hair, I just saved it.” When asked if the collection included hair from only men, Casey replied, “Oh no, this is coed hair. I don’t discriminate.” Over the years Casey admits his quest for pubic hair expanded to include public restrooms, cheap motels, bathrooms of friends, even brothels. “The Madams in the brothels always thought I was a little weird,” Jones admitted. “But for twenty bucks, you know, they’ll do just about anything. I’d go into the girls’ rooms where they took their customers, and there was always quite a bit of it lying around. Those were pretty good places to look.“ Representatives for Guinness who requested not to be identified have said flatly they will not consider Casey’s claim. “That’s just not an area we want to get into,” they said. “You publish a thing like that, and who knows what’s next. The largest collection of rodent’s testicles? We have to draw the line somewhere.” Casey says he’s considering suing for inclusion. He claims no other collection in the country can even begin to rival his, and, he says, that’s news. Recently Jones was allowed to display his pubic hair ball at a local mall. Interest in the collection was limited, and reactions were mixed. Most mall patrons complained of the smell. Jones admitted he had never found a good way to wash any of the hair. “This is a mistake we won’t be making again,” complained mall manager Roy Argus. “This was the grossest, dumbest, most disgusting thing we’ve ever seen.” Jones says he plans to take his ball on tour throughout the country. “This is my one chance to really shine, and I’m not going to miss it.” |
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click HERE instead of using this form.Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
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Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 9 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
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choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
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-----Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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