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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-126

Did Michael Jackson Molest Your Dad?
Did Michael Jackson Molest You Too!?

Wacko Jacko, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton...
Need we say more?

Michael (Wacko) Jackson.
Good Grief.

Is this guy a nut-case or what?
Honestly, we don't know the man, and we can't say.

Is he a pre-vert?
We haven't a clue one way or the other.

If Michael goes to trial and gets convicted, will he necessarily be guilty? Not in our view. Going to court in this country has become little short of throwing the dice in a crap shoot.

If Michael goes to trial and is found innocent, will that mean he's innocent? Not necessarily. Going to court in this country has become little short of throwing the dice in a crap shoot.

What would it take to convince us one way or the other? We'd like to see Michael take a polygraph. A polygraph test is far (far) more reliable and unbiased than any court in America. We've used them. We've watched people try to fool them. It virtually can't be done if the examiner is competent and honest. But in the end, whether or not Michael is guilty or innocent of anything is not the purpose of this gag newspaper article. It is simply a piece of humor. It even says so on the back of the page.

Michael might be the greatest human being ever to walk the Earth. He may be honest, forthright, decent---an all 'round "good guy". Or he may be what the media seems intent on making him: a monster. Since we know, first-hand, that the media is almost always wrong, the benefit of the doubt, for the time being, goes to Michael. We just wish he'd stop acting so damned weird.

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*Article Number	C-1 BASE Jumper C-2 Bear Finds Way to Town C-3 Screw Loose X-Ray C-4 Fakey Alien Abduction C-5 Human Ape Baby C-6 Lotto Winner C-7 Two Story Outhouse C-8 Puppy in a Tree C-9 Skydiving Car C-10 Slacker Award C-11 UFO Sighting C-12 Wanted for Grisly Murder C-13 Outlaw Bikers C-14 Save an Airliner C-15 Ten Passenger Motorcycle C-16 Beauty Pageant Winner C-17 Mile High Club (plane stuck in wires) C-18 Computer Toilet C-19 Meteor Hits Local Home C-20 Not Used C-21 Bungee Biker C-22 Machine Gun Fisherman C-23 DB Cooper Found Alive C-24 KKK Grand Wizard C-25 Santa Claus Killer C-26 Reptile Woman C-27 Trucker Hits Bridge C-28 My Anus C-29 Street Walker C-30 Ferry Sinks C-31 Mugger Gets Ass Kicked C-32 Best Employee Award C-33 Monorail Stoppee C-34 Vessel Raised from the Deep C-35 Kirby Hat Diver C-36 Shark Attack C-37 Grand Canyon Motorcycle Jump C-38 Rubber Raft Skydivers C-39 Naked Man in Carwash C-40 Big Surf C-41 Beat Up the Devil C-42 No Life on Mars C-43 Prop Diver C-44 World's Largest Penis on Record C-45 Fondled by President Clinton C-46 Mother of the Year C-47 Cuban Cigar Smugglers C-48 Biker Races Seattle Monorail C-49 Narrows Bridge Biker Stunt C-50 Castro's Cigar Gift C-51 Seattle Monorail Bear C-52 Eiffel Tower Comes to Your Town C-53 Moon Knocked Out of Orbit C-54 Second Face on Mars Confirmed C-55 BASE Jumper Arrested Downtown C-56 Croc Found in Sewer C-57 Record Pompano (fish) Caught C-58 Happy Valentine's Day C-59 New Olympics Event C-60 ER Bottle Incident C-61 Bears Downtown C-62 Giraffe on the Loose C-63 Female Streaker C-64 Pizza Blimp Crash C-65 Industrial Park Bear C-66 Balloon Man Flies C-67 New Traffic Lights Erected C-68 Fake Your Own Death C-69 Bridge to Hawaii C-70 Scary Fish C-71 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-72 Earthquake Rocks Seattle C-73 Monorail Crash C-74 Meteor Shower C-75 Fortean Blobs C-76 Human Organ Thieves C-77 Stock Market Crash C-78 V-16 Motorcycle C-79 Demi Moore or Memorex C-80 Naked Men Arrested C-81 Alien Implant C-82 Experimental Black Hole Out of Control C-83 Britney Spears C-84 Not Used C-85 Not Used C-86 Not Used C-87 Not Used C-88 Country Bought by US C-89 Derby Winner C-90 Not Used C-91 Brown Noser C-92 Police Ask for Help C-93 Crop Circle C-94 Smallest Penis in the World C-95 Dance Studio C-96 Not Used C-97 Goat Molester C-98 Horsing Around C-99 Head Up Ass C-100 Old Woman Hooker C-101 Broken Penis C-102 Public Exposure C-103 Viagra Fatality C-104 Male Prostitution C-105 Bottle Stuck Up Butt C-106 Not Used C-107 Mysterious Flying Rods C-108 Birthday Cake Fire C-109 Space Cows on Mars C-110 Killer Deer Kicks Hunter's Ass C-111 Killer Deer Gets Eaten C-112 Freeway Sign Hacked C-113 Marriage Vaccine C-114 Surfer Shark Attack C-115 Alien Anal Probe C-116 Osama bin Laden Captured Alive C-117 Penis Stuck in Fan C-118 Terrorist Arrested C-119 Not Used C-120 Smart Bombs Not so Smart C-121 Write Your Own Obituary C-122 Doing Atkins C-123 Arnold Schwarzenegger C-124 Haunt the House of Your Choice C-125 Not Used C-126 Michael Jackson Molests Your Dad C-127 Write Your Own Horoscope C-128 Largest Ball of Pubic Hair C-129 Not Used C-130 Santa Barbara PD Goes Crazy C-131 Jennifer Wilbanks Spoiled Brat C-132 Laura Bush / Teresa Kerry C-133 Judicial System Disbanded C-134 Not Used C-135 Not Used C-136 Not Used C-137 Not Used C-138 Not Used C-139 Not Used C-140 Not Used C-141 Not Used C-142 Not Used C-143 Not Used C-144 Not Used C-145 Not Used C-146 Not Used C-147 Not Used C-148 Not Used C-149 Not Used C-150 Not Used C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own
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