Fake Newspapers, Gag Birthday Gifts: Make Your House a Haunted House

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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

As Seen on TV

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-124

Is Your House Haunted? It is Now!

Haunt the Building of Your Choosing

Fake Newspaper Article C-124

Ghost stories? Who believes 'em anyhow. No one.

Unless you've got proof.

Great for Halloween, sleepovers, jacking up the value of your Real Estate, etc. etc. Use a snapshot of your house as the optional inset.

Prestigious Institute of Parapsychology

One of the Most Well Documented Hauntings

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

Once haunted, always haunted; that seems to be the case with an otherwise innocuous structure at 4721 Willow Road in Medford, Oregon, owned by John and Casey Jones. "We’ve always felt some kind of energy or something here", admits Casey. "But we’re not, you know, into that psychic thing. Not at all."

So the Jones’s were surprised when well-known psychic investigator Johnson Willright showed up on their doorstep with a TV crew from Unsolved Mysteries a while back. They said they were investigating haunted buildings and this was top on their list. They brought four investigators with the prestigious Institute of Parapsychology. "We let ‘em in," said John, "and they filled us in on some pretty bizarre history." It seems that before the Jones’s bought the property it was the scene of a grisly murder. Not once, but twice over the course of twenty years. The two unrelated cases involved two homicides with both bodies being buried beneath the flooring, one on top of the other. They were discovered accidentally by a contractor performing minor repairs. Neither murder was officially solved, though authorities suspected a homeless man who sometimes prowled the area.

The Unsolved Mysteries crew recorded a "significant" amount of anomalous physical data, which has cemented the structure’s ranking as one of America’s most haunted locations. The Institute’s investigators plan to feature the structure in an upcoming book titled, "Hauntings; The Best Proof".

See "Ghosts" Page D-5

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