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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-118
Not for Mixed Company... (!)
We created this selection due to popular demand. The thought would have never entered our heads otherwise. We suggest this piece only be used by people who know their mark very, very well. The potential for evil is great. In fact, we're so afraid of this piece being used improperly that we've included a quip at the end of the article which makes certain it can't be mistaken for a serious newspaper article. In any case, use with discretion!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics |
| Suspect led away under heavy guard Local Man Taken into Custody, Released Suspect claims no ties to organized terrorism Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.) He isn't quite John Walker Lindh, Taliban warrior, but local man Casey Jones certainly merited the attention of FBI officials because of what they call "suspicious activities" since 9-11. Casey Jones was taken into custody several days ago by regional anti-terrorism task force agents and questioned at length regarding his alleged ties to Al Quaeda and other Middle Eastern groups associated with 9-11 conspiracies. But Jones say the whole thing was a misunderstanding. "I ain't no f-ing terrorist!" laments Jones, who admits that while he might have "known" certain high-level Al Quaeda operatives, he has never endorsed their tactics or ideologies. FBI officials stated for the record, "Whatever misunderstanding Mr. Jones feels has occurred, it's in his mind. We understand him very, very well." Federal prosecutors declined to comment on the possibility of filing charges against Jones, but hinted that there was plenty of time to do so if the evidence warranted. Jones's attorney, a high-profile lawyer harking from the trenches of Washington D.C., shed little light on his client's "unfortunate circumstance", as he put it. "Mr. Jones is simply another in a long line of victims, persecuted by an enforcement and prosecutorial faction gone wild with power and unfounded suspicion." Jones does admit to traveling to Afghanistan twice in the months after 9-11, but says it was "strictly a family matter" and had nothing to do with any planned post-911attacks. "If that's the case," commented agent Browne, "we'd like to know why he was smuggled in and out of the country, via Iraq, in the cargo hold of a DC-9!" Jones retorts that he simply enjoys traveling as frugally as possible, and that Allah smiles upon those who endure hardship in his name. Jones immediately went into seclusion after his release, citing the need to meditate and pray for guidance in this time of trial. He had been living on a small sailboat in Shilshole Marina, near Seattle in Washington state. An FBI spokesperson concluded: Mr. Jones has not been arrested; however he has been restricted from leaving the area for the time being. A large cache of weapons was found aboard Mr. Jones's vessel, however they were deemed "completely legal" by ATF agents, and were allowed to remain in Jones's possession. See more on this story: "Suspect Subjected to Anal Probe by Investigators" Page B-4 |
View NEXT Fake Newspaper Write Your Own Fake Newspapers From Scratch Instructions: Personalize and SUBMIT the form. To create your
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story from scratch, Volume Discounts are available during checkout Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here Or....choose from three OTHER options: Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95) Write your own story in your own words and
upload
any pictures you like (or none at all). Upload your own complete newspaper page layout (from $39.95) Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of
your Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95) Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection
which Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
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Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copies
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Remember!
-----
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
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