Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
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Most Popular Stories
C-108 Birthday Cake Fire
We were caught in a birthday cake fire once. We were left with 90 degree burns
C-106 The Most Perfect Little Gift in the World (birthdays, occasions)
You could even have Elvis call the birthday girl (he calls us a lot)
C-10 Local Man Gets Slacker Award
Recognition for the slacker in every company and in every neighborhood
C-91 Brown Noser's Special
Make sure the brown-noser gets a snoot-full. Those bastards...
C-112 Freeway Sign Says Anything You Want
Change the traffic advisory signs to send YOUR special message
C-114 Surfer Attacked by Great White Shark
This surfer owes a lot to those who went before him
C-40 Biggest Surf in 40 Years Hits Washington Coast
Ride the really big ones
C-36 Local Man Returns Home After San Diego Shark Attack
Get attacked by a shark---and live
C-122 "Doing Atkins"---a Spoof on the Atkins Diet
"I lost 296 pounds in only 11 days and I feel great!"
C-17 Private Plane Crashes Near Industrial Area
Embarrassing tale of two lovers who crash their plane and walk away
C-13 Outlaw Bikers Hit Seattle
Be a bad-ass biker and terrorize a city
C-110 Killer Deer Kicks Ass
Wild deer turns carnivorous, kicks hunter's ass then runs away
C-111 Killer Deer Gets Eaten
Wild deer turns carnivorous, but ends up on the barbie (where he belongs)
C-117 Fan Encounter of the Worst Kind (stick a weener in a fan)
We knew a guy this happened to. Sort of. We don't like to talk about it.
C-39 Local Man Arrested Again for Indecent Exposure
For the guy in your life who just can't keep his pants on
C-112 Freeway Sign Says Anything You Want
Change the traffic advisory signs to send YOUR SPECIAL message
C-94 Smallest Male Organ in the World
Originally written for President Clinton, now this treasure can be yours
C-80 Naked Men Arrested
Groups of naked men just standing around in yards all over the burbs. The horror
C-63 Break in Flasher Case
For the gal who just CAN'T keep her pants on
C-42 "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Never, EVER touch yourself before handling rocks from Mars
C-97 Goat Molester
This was originally written for President Clinton, but now it can be yours
C-100 Old (old) Hookers
This was originally written for President Clinton, but now it can be yours
C-104 Male Prostitution Ring Finally Broken
This was originally written for President Clinton, but now it can be yours
C-105 You Got a Beer Bottle Stuck WHERE?
This was originally written for President Clinton, but now it can be yours
C-99 Head Up Ass
This was originally written for President Clinton, but now it can be yours
C-44 Largest Penis (ahem) in the World (2000, 2001, 2002 Most Viewed)
This was originally written for President Clinton,
but it was first titled "Biggest PR_CK in the World"
C-7 New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse
Work for a cheap company? Expose them. Literally.
C-42 "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Embarrass the living ------ out of your boss by exposing his diseases
C-3 Headache Sufferer Diagnosed
At last, PROOF that your spouse has a screw loose
C-25 Santa Claus and Four Reindeer Slain!
For those with a little Grinch blood who never liked that trespassing sucker
C-118 Terrorist Arrested
Person with suspected terrorist ties gets arrested, then grudgingly released.
C-22 Local Man Causes Stir
Pass these out to your husband's fishing buddies (then take his guns away from him)
C-4 First Documented Abduction
Get abducted (and maybe anally probed) by a spaceship. Or something
C-78 WWII Heidenvolkker Restored
Restore the famed Heidenvolkker. Why?
Because your car-buff friends will be envious
C-66 Not AGAIN!
Our hero is that guy who flew around in the lawn chair years ago.
Judging from sales, he's other folks's hero too
C-31 Would-Be Mugger Gets Surprise
We love this one. Beat the living crap out of some scum-sucking robber
type and leave him quivering in the john. YOU. GO. GIRL.
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