Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
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Political / International
C-24 Washington's Grand Wizard for Seven Years Goes Public
This was originally written for a client who just left it casually lying on the
coffee table when his white friends came to visit. He got just about every
different reaction you could ever imagine
C-123 "Ah Gonna be da Gov...!"
California. Too silly for comment (you too can be the governor of California)
C-116 Crap on bin Laden
We just can't think of anything horrible enough or painful enough for the dumb ass
C-88 "Occupy" the Country of Your Choice!
We can also write this so that, say, Cuba leases 890,000 acres in central Utah
on a 99 year contract. Stir up some SH-- for God's sake! Don't just sit there!
C-118 Terrorist Arrested
Person with suspected terrorist ties gets arrested, then grudgingly released.
C-112 Freeway Sign Says Anything You Want
Change the traffic advisory signs to send YOUR SPECIAL message
C-120 Unexploded Bomb in YOUR Yard
Precision Bombing (aka "The Sky is Falling")
C-133 California Judicial System to be Disbanded
Caly-FORN-ia. No further comment.
C-132 Laura Bush vs. Teresa Heinz Kerry
Death Match
C-106 The Most Perfect Little Gift in the World (birthdays, occasions)
Our aunt Fritze usually makes these calls for us.
She has a whole SLEW of impressions
C-42 "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Could be written for any disease you prefer. Jock itch is the default
C-130 Santa Barbara Police Department Beats You (and Michael Jackson) Up
Michael Jackson Gets Beat Up Everywhere He Goes. And so does your mark
C-27 Backhoe Being Hauled on Truck Hits Bridge
The owner of TrixiePixGraphics had almost the identical thing happen once---
with virtually the same aftermath. Any trucker knows this drill. It's great for
those long layovers at the truck-stop, though. You'd be AMAZED at how many
truckers will buy you a drink after reading this tale of woe
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