Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
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Crime and Punishment
C-12 Local Woman Sought in Grisly Homicide
Kill yer husband 'cause he's an asshole. Get away with it. Feel good about yourself
C-92 Mystery Man Helps in Police Search
Be arrogant and aloof. Command respect and awe. (It actually works)
C-116 Crap on bin Laden
We just can't think of anything horrible enough or painful enough for the dumb ass
C-118 Terrorist Arrested
Person with suspected terrorist ties gets arrested, then grudgingly released.
C-130 Did the Santa Barbara Police Beat YOU TOO?
Another Michael Jackson travesty....
C-31 Would-Be Mugger Gets Surprise
We love this one. Beat the living crap out of some scum-sucking robber
type and leave him quivering in the john. YOU. GO. GIRL.
C-124 Haunt Your Own House (Haunted House Story w/murders)
Haunt any house or structure you choose (scare your cousins)
C-126 Did Michael Jackson Molest Your Dad?
Haunt any house or structure you choose (scare your cousins)
C-121 Write Your Own Obituary to See Who Cries
Gruesome and dreary, the Goth's delight, by popular request we offer
proof of your untimely demise. Well, sort of.
C-133 California Judicial System to be Disbanded
Caly-FORN-ia. No further comment
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