Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
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Award / Recognition / Birthday
C-108 Birthday Cake Fire
We were caught in a birthday cake fire once. We were left with 90 degree burns
C-6 Biggest Jackpot in National Powerball Lotto!
Win the Lotto; Send a copy to your uppity inlaws in Bethesda and watch 'em eat their
hearts out (remember how they dissed you last Thanksgiving?)
C-16 Seattle Hairdresser Wins "Miss Western Washington"
For the girl who's beautiful---and aren't they all?
C-46 Local Mom Wins "Mother of the Year"
For Mother's Day. Moms really DO deserve something nice
C-106 The Most Perfect Little Gift in the World (birthdays, occasions)
You could even have Elvis call the birthday girl (he calls us a lot)
C-128 World's Largest Ball of Pubic Hair
Roast your boss in a stinky, disgusting way. Doesn't s/he just beg for it?
C-10 Local Man Gets Slacker Award
Recognition for the slacker in every company and in every neighborhood
C-91 Brown Noser's Special
Make sure the brown-noser gets a snoot-full. Those bastards...
C-112 Freeway Sign Says Anything You Want
Change the traffic advisory signs to send YOUR special message
C-122 "Doing Atkins"---a Spoof on the Atkins Diet
"I lost 296 pounds in only 11 days and I feel great!"
C-32 Most Valuable Employee Award
"It was an easy choice this year," said Gloria Johnson.
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