TrixiePixieGraphics® Channel54News® FakeNewspapers™ National-Media™
Novelty Gifts and Gags that will Shock and Surprise the People You Love
Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters
Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles
Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - FakeUltrasounds™
TrixiePixGraphics®About Shipping View Cart/Checkout
Illegal to publish, broadcast, rewrite or redistribute -- Copyright © 1982 - 2012
www.fakeababy.com FakeaBaby™ FakeNewspapers™ TrixiePixGraphics™ FakeOultrasounds™ All Rights ReservedOur Websites Feature Exclusive and Copywrited Artwork
None of Our Products are Duplicated
We Provide One of a Kind Originals Created by Our Paid Artists
Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Paypal Accepted!Help Wanted in Seattle
Start Immediately -- $10hr.
We pay daily for temp work!
Seattle Jobs-------------------------------------------
Have you ever placed a help-wanted ad?
Most employees haven't. But they should.When any employer places a help-wanted ad, it opens the floodgates to the unwashed masses. People who've never placed a help-wanted ad would be shocked, astounded and horrified to see what (not whom) replies. It's like that bar scene in Star Wars. You simply wouldn't believe it. In fact, we recommend placing such an ad as a sociological experiment. The exercise will help shape your understanding of Reality. You may then require therapy. Or Prozac. Or both.
Out of 300 applications for a computer job there might be 50 an employer wants to look at closer, because 250 admit they've never seen a computer before but are willing to learn. After a closer look, the number of applicants an employer wants to interview might drop to 35 because many of those who proclaim themselves to be PC experts have only played Donkey Kong twice (but got real high scores both times). Half a dozen of those that are left will have already found a job or will have moved or changed phone numbers. The employer then asks the remaining 29 in for a formal, face to face interview. 12 show up for their appointments (the others don't bother to call and cancel and are never heard from again). Of those 12 who show up, 8 have obviously lied about their experience/skill levels (they claimed to be "photoshop gurus" but don't know the difference between a bitmap and a vector) and are thanked politely and shown the door (we don't care if you know the difference or not, but please don't tell us you do when you don't). That still leaves 4 that are suitable to hire. If the employer hires all 4, 1 will show up for their first day. Within two weeks it's clear that one employee didn't read the part about "reliability" and has already blown two shifts due to "family emergencies" and "unspecified illnesses" and "oops I forgot" and "my alarm didn't go off", "the dog ate my homework", you name it. And the hiring process begins anew. Go through that cycle 30 or 40 times and you begin to understand why employers can sometimes become jaded with regard to employees.
Please ask yourself: "Do I REALLY want a job? Really?"
For some unknown reason, people who've applied as a result of CraigsList ads have proven nearly 100% unreliable. Perhaps you're the exception. (We no longer seek employees on Craigslist and will never waste our time there again, nor should any employer).
If you'd like to apply to us, please contact us at the link at the bottom of this page. If we're interested, we'll contact you by email.
While this is, initially, a part-time temp job, we're always looking for people who want more. For instance, we'd like to find someone who'd like to be sent around the world with a portable kiosk. We'd like to find someone who wants to make a career out of creative writing, graphics, arts and crafts, etc. "The Boss" has written for national magazines for many years (his work is in any public library) and so can help immensely with "how to get published" tips and hints. We'd like to find someone who could be a "girl (or guy) Friday", able to perform all phases of our operation. So while we're advertising for someone to do donkey work a couple of days a week, we're always hoping for someone who can do more. The more you tell us about yourself, the more we'll be in a position to consider you for bigger and better "stuff". We've found that the surest way not to GET what you want out of life, is to not KNOW what you want out of life. What do you WANT out of life? Please tell us what that is.
What else do WE want out of YOU? We want reliability. No, we want ULTRA-reliability. We're ultra-reliable. We don't have the time or patience for those who aren't. If you even think you MIGHT BE a little flaky, please don't apply. Really. We've learned the hard way that flakes aren't made, they're born, and NOTHING and NO ONE can change them. We no longer try. It was a long, hard lesson but we've learned it.
We're looking for creativity, because many of our menial jobs STILL require at least a LITTLE creativity. If you have IDEAS rolling around in there, please talk to us! Even bad ideas are better than no ideas. (Maybe).
We're looking for people who like to MAKE THINGS. After all, our business is nothing more than arts and crafts on steroids. If you LOVE padding around a warm house in your stockings on a cold, rainy day, making fun little things, or writing stories, painting, etc., that's the kind of atmosphere you'll find here. But while this is, by far, the most relaxed (and irreverent) work environment you'll ever find, you still have to actually work, and in the past some have not understood that. While we're paying you, you can't watch TV, talk on the phone, or sleep. We can't believe that we have to say that, but we do.
Our products are PERFECTLY made. We sometimes spend a year or two developing a single product, so as to get it just right. We need people who not only like to make things, but who like to make things well, and with class, and always a cut above that which the competition offers.
We look for people who have some social skills, and who can put up with a little BS from our customers. But please note -- we used the phrase "a little", and that's what we mean. Some customers are just antagonistic, belligerent bullshit factories, and it sometimes occurs to us that there are a few people in the world who go to stores or shop online for the exclusive and express purpose of finding people they can bitch at. We expect you to put up with "a little" BS, but no more. If a customer gets nasty or rude, you have our permission to cut 'em off at the knees, and retain your self respect. And if they're STILL nasty or rude, we post their antics in a public forum and let the chips fall where they may. When our customers are polite and logical which, thankfully, is 99.92% of the time, we expect you to bend over backwards to make sure they get what they pay for, plus a little more. But when a customer crosses the line (2-3 times a year) you can literally tell them where to go and where to put it and we'll back you up. They'll STILL get their money's worth, but it will be the last time they interact with us. No shirt, no shoes, okay. But no manners? No service!
We look for people who are basically quiet, creative, responsible, who understand the concept of personal hygiene (ask us about that sometime), who are half (okay -- three quarters) crazy, reliable.....who like weird projects, thinking up weird products, and who are (dare we say it) quiet, responsible, creative, half (or more) crazy, utterly irreverent, and reliable (no misprint). That person might find a lifelong niche here. As much as anything else we look for a flicker of imagination and a spark of life. Everything else (except reliability) can be taught.
That pretty-well sums it up.
The Boss (owner), John Sampote
