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Help Wanted in Seattle
Seattle Jobs

More Info

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We need someone who can perform one or more(!) of the following tasks:

Fast and accurate typing
Occasional data entry
Very light product assembly
Tongue-in-cheek creative writing
Website page layout
Layout with MS Publisher
Digital video editing (PC, not MAC)
Painting, drawing, illustrations
And much more.

The person who can perform the most tasks gets the most preference.

This is PART TIME (10-35 hours/week)

You must be "NON-CLUMSY", able to work in an environment overflowing with delicate, expensive equipment.
We run 24 printers at present.

You must be able to climb stairs and sometimes carry 20 pounds.

You must be ultra-reliable.
You must be ultra-reliable.
You must be ultra-reliable.

You must be ultra-reliable; those who are, know it. If you're not sure if you're reliable enough for us, you're not. Reliable means you show up every single day, even when it's nice out, even when your friends want you to go on a picnic. This is called "having a job". If you're unreliable, you're of no use to any employer, even if you work for free..

Must have complete command of the English language, and understand that sentences use periods, commas, etc., and you must know the difference between "their, they're, and there"; also "to, two, and too".

You may pick your own hours and days within certain parameters.

We pay daily for temp positions (currently starting at $10/hr.) We have positions that pay $55/hr.

You will often or usually work alone.

You may not sleep or talk on your cell phone while on the clock (yes, we really have to say that up front).

You should be EXTREMELY communicative, and enjoy discussing arts and entertainment projects at great length and in extreme detail.

It will help if you have a dry, sophisticated sense of humor and are not easily offended.

We cannot stress enough that you must be 100% reliable. Virtually every person we've ever hired has been fired for unreliability. We say this over and over and over, yet almost no one grasps the concept.

This is an easy, super-laidback job. You'll laugh every day. You'll have plenty of outlets for all kinds of creativity. We often allow employees to use the equipment to make gags for themselves and friends for free. We'll help you learn the various jobs every step of the way, including Photoshop, digital video editing, silkscreening, offset printing, sewing, airbrushing, t-shirt making, dye-sub printing, wide format printing, you name it. Many employees have said this is the best job they've ever had. --Then they blow their shifts and get fired. It never ceases to amaze us. Please understand that you MUST be reliable. To be blunt, people in this region are shockingly flaky -- probably the flakiest we've ever seen, anywhere in the world. You must be the exception. Even though we're on the West Coast, we prefer an East Coast work ethic.

If you have a website (even MySpace), please direct us to that, so we can see if you have a sense of aesthetics and layout.

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I just saw your October post on the WorkSource website. I only wish your pay rate was higher because I'm as reliable as a boy scout (and friendly, courteous, and kind as well.) Anyway, your ad intrigued me enough to check out your web site. You seem to be some seriously fun people. Best of luck in your endeavors. Jeff C.

I'm not applying to your ad but I have to congratulate you on the most unpretentious job offer I've read in a long long, long long long long....time. It was truly a work of art and a real treat to read. It put a full-size smile on my face that lasted over 45 seconds. I would have liked to have been smiling all morning but hey, you gotta appreciate all the grins you can get these days. Thanks you for your honesty! Ed F.