Help us process your order
quickly and correctly
Currently, the Most Common Mistakes are:
General Rudeness, Snippety/Snooty/Snipes.
This is somewhat a seasonal problem. If there is a problem with your order which is our fault, and you politely bring it to our attention, you'll find that we'll work quickly and tirelessly to correct it. For free. However, rude, insulting, dishonest, argumentative, counter-productive behavior will cause that customer to be blocked from ordering from us again. We block 2-3 customers per year, out of thousands.
Similarly, we occasionally refuse to do business with the "polite but
anal" customer. Regrettably, we
cannot afford to patronize this type of customer, rude or polite. Read more
Scams and Fraud
The Internet is fast becoming a haven for would-be / wanna-be scam artists. We endure some sort of scam or fraud attempt several times per week. After years of fending them off, we've become "testy" with scammers. Trust us when we say we've seen every scam, every con. When customers try to run scams we see them coming a mile away. Please: Just. Say. No. To. Scams. We promise they'll end unpleasantly.
Not Checking Email to See if We Have a Question About Your Order.
We have a backlog of orders in which the customer paid for an order, submitted a data form, and then never bothered to check their email again. We may have a question that needs clarification before it is possible to print your order. Please, please, if you've placed an order, and especially if you've chosen rush shipping, check your email in a timely manner to see if there is a problem with your order. Really. Please. We beg you.
Paying for the Same Order Multiple Times.
Some customers pay for the same order two, three, even four times. Please, if you only intend to buy one order, only pay for it once. You may submit as many data forms as you like without incurring any charges. However, if you go through the entire payment process via the Shopping Cart system, you will be charged each time you purchase an item.
Not Considering Delivery Times.
Some customers do not understand the concept of shipping. We are not the carriers. We do not deliver your order. Some company like UPS or Fed-Ex or USPS does that. It takes time for your order to be delivered. Please read our "About Shipping" page.
Sending Multiple Emails with the Same Content.
Some customers send multiple copies of the exact same emails. Some send three copies of every email, and every reply. Please, send only one copy of any given email. If you don't receive a response within 24 hours, email again. But please don't send multiple copies of every correspondence.
Emailing for Frivolous Reasons.
99% of the questions that come to us through email have already been answered in our FAQs. If you can't find the answer there, then please, by all means, drop us a note. We'll reply quickly and accurately, and we certainly won't be mad at you for asking a legitimate question. But questions like, "Hey, how much do those newspapers cost, anyhow?" are already answered on every newspaper product page. The sheer volume of unnecessary emails we receive is taking a toll. Please limit emails as much as possible.
Ordering (and paying), then Canceling.
Please be sure you really want a product before you order it. Our credit card processing bank charges us to process a refund. We reserve the right to charge a flat fee of $10 on cancelled orders. If your order has already shipped out, it is obviously too late to cancel it, and no refund will be given.
Typos and errors.
You are responsible for your own story. We do not correct your errors and typos. We do not read your story. We are a printing business. We are not an editing business. We offer no editing services. It is up to you, the customer, to decide upon and supply what you want us to print. We sometimes receive emails from customers who ordered a newspaper (or other customizable product), submitted their story, received it a few days later, and found an error that they made in the original submission. They then demand that we make and ship a new, corrected order, at our expense. We ask you, we beg you, we implore you: proof-read your stories, have your friends proof-read your stories. Have your family proof-read your stories. Do not submit your stories until you are sure they're correct. We ask this all through the website, conspicuously, repeatedly, in a dozen different ways in a dozen different places, including on the story submission form itself. You are responsible for your own story. We will not correct your errors at our expense. In the instances where we have corrected what appeared to be an obvious typo or error, we have often received a nasty email from the customer berating us for ruining their story because they spelled "necasary" that way on purpose, and they demand a replacement for free. Our people are now under strict orders not to correct any suspicious text they happen to see. This is an iron-clad policy. Please do not ask us to correct your story "just this once". We simply will not do it. We cannot say this enough times: You. Are. Responsible. For. Your. Story.
We've tried to keep the "instructions" on this site to a minimum. We don't like reading instructions ourselves, but sometimes you just have to. The most important factor is this: Just check your email from time to time after you've placed an order. That way, if there's a glitch, you can be aware of it, you can reply to fix it, and everything will proceed smoothly thereafter.
Thanks,
TrixiePixGraphics.com
FakeNewspapers.com
Note: About once or twice a year we receive a nasty email from someone who has read this page and it has enraged them. They berate us for several paragraphs and then obnoxiously proclaim that they'll do their shopping with our competitors. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank them.
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