Personalized Newspapers, Magazines, Giant Checks & Breaking News Videos by TrixiePixGraphics.com™ FakeNewspapers.com™ Channel54News.com™ Gag Gifts & Art, More Fun than a Halter-Top Full of Ferrets Ask a Question    View Cart/Checkout     About Shipping Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - Fake Ultrasounds - KubeKompanion TrixiePixGraphics™     Store Rating       International Sales Info Jump to Channel 54 News™ Personalized Breaking News Videos This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics. All Rights Reserved.

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Your message is not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination. All correspondence sent to or through the TrixiePixGraphics.com and FakeNewspapers.com domains, are not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination.

You may check these FAQs to see if your question has already been answered:

How Quickly Will You Receive Your Order?

What if Your Order Seems to be Missing?

Fake Newspaper FAQs

Before posting a help request please
(please) check for answers below:

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Where's my tracking number?

The carrier, not us, sends a tracking number to the email address you used when ordering. Please check your junk, spam or deleted folders. It is possible (likely) that your ISP has configured its servers to deny emails from the major carriers. Why? Good question! Please ask your ISP. We do not send duplicate tracking or label numbers. Please read this again: We do not send duplicate tracking or label numbers. By the time we receive your inquiry, process it, find the tracking number and reply, your item will usually have arrived anyway. Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.

My order is late / missing:

When we trace a "missing" shipment we find, in 99+ cases out of 100, that it was delivered and signed for days before but a family member or co-worker forgot to mention it. Remember, if you chose regular shipping, your order may take 72 hours to print. If it is ready for shipment on a weekend it may not go out until Monday. It may then take 4-7 additional BUSINESS days to reach you. Or it may really be missing! (see below). Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.

My order still hasn't shown up. Where the heck is it?

We receive many orders returned to us as "unclaimed" or "unable to deliver". If your tracking data says your order was returned due to a problem, and that same tracking shows that we have received it back, please use this link to have it re-shipped. But please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.

You made a mistake on my order! May I kill you?

Yes. We're far angrier at ourselves when we make a mistake than you could ever be. Just notify us as politely as possible and we'll take care of it immediately, and we'll thrash, beat, chastise (and possibly fire) the person responsible. But ranting, raving, cursing, threatening and insulting us will NOT help your cause, just as it will not help any cause in any other life-endeavor.

You shipped to my BILLING address instead of my SHIPPING address. WHY!??

Internet fraud has skyrocketed. The most common ploy of the Internet fraudster is to steal a credit card, and to buy a bunch of "stuff" online, then to have those items shipped to an alternate address. A month or three later the owner of the card discovers the fraudulent activity on their card; they file a chargeback, and the retailer loses their money. In the first four months of 2007 we have lost in the neighborhood of $11,500 due to this exact scenario. We finally had NO CHOICE but to adopt the policy that many other retailers had already switched to -- that of shipping ONLY to the registered billing address. In the case of long-time customers who order often, we will sometimes make an exception, but that's rare.

When I track my order the carrier's website provides info that doesn't make any sense. What kind of crap is that?

Welcome to our world. Tracking accuracy is spotty at best. For instance, USPS sometimes reports that they haven't even received your package for shipping for several days after you signed for its delivery! Shipping carriers, all of them, are some of the most backwards companies in the world. For instance UPS is tied with DHL as the worst; Fed-Ex is second to USPS for most reliable. Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.

Do you print your newspapers on real newsprint?

Yes, of course (amazingly some of our copycat competitors do not).

Do your newspapers have print and ads and whatnot on BOTH sides?

Yes, of course.

I submitted a question to you four days ago and I never received a reply. What the Hell is the matter with you?

This space USED to feature a couple of sentences like THIS: "As long as we can even remotely make sense of your message (the Internet is overflowing with the deranged at 3 a.m.) we ALWAYS reply. Always. Period. No exceptions. Always within 24 hours, but usually within a few hours, and often within a few minutes." Regrettably, we've been forced to review that policy and alter it slightly. We used to say there was no such thing as a stupid question. Now we know better. Then we jokingly said that the only stupid question was, "Where do I live?" After several thousand requests to ship merchandise to addresses that don't exist, we now know this is no joke. We have a new policy: We will answer ALMOST every question, ALWAYS within 24 hours, very often within a few hours, and somewhat often within a few minutes. If the question is too dumb to respond to, we will simply ignore it; either way, we may or may not post it here. This has become necessary due to several conditions: (1) a certain burnout factor on our parts -- some of us have had a total of three days off in seven years. (2) as our volume grows, so do the stupid questions. It becomes more and more difficult to respond politely to people who cause us to ship an item at our expense which goes to an address that doesn't exist, then bitch at us two weeks later because we won't re-ship their order for free when they supply us with a valid address. It is also becoming increasingly difficult to respond with compassion to those customers who make a mistake on their personalization form, then berate and belittle us because we refuse to make and ship a replacement product for free. Problems like this used to come up once every couple of months; now they come up several times per day. We'll respond to inquiries that are even marginally valid/sane. But beyond that point we'll just delete them. This is what all large Internet corporations have been doing for twenty years; at least we're honest about it.

You said you refunded on something and credited my card, but all I see is a debit on my statement. Are you a bunch of rip-off bastards or what?!

Whenever a refund is found to be due, from us to you, it's done that very same night, after 22:30 Pacific, when our receipts for the day are batch-dumped to the credit card processor. We can't do a refund any sooner because as far as the system knows, your transaction does not yet exist (therefore it can't be reversed). At the moment we process a refund, an email is sent to the email address you used when you placed the order, confirming the refund, giving you a reference number for it, and stating what the refund was for. After that, it is up to YOUR BANK (or financial institution, card issuer, etc.) to decide when they want to post that refund to your statement. Banks, credit card companies and financial institutions, being the miserable, greedy, dishonest money-grubbers that they very often are, will usually hold onto those funds just as long as they think they can get away with it, because, during that time, they get to USE those funds, interest-free; or in the case of the card issuer, they can often continue to charge you interest on that amount while it is "in limbo" somewhere in the system (in reality it's in the bank's secret coffers, earning interest every minute it's there). Take your $32.95 times a million per day, and the revenue a financial institution can generate from that kind of capital is, well, "significant". Is it morally wrong? Of course. Do financial institutions care if it's morally wrong? Of course not. It will usually take your bank or card company from a couple of days, to ten days or more, to finally get around to giving your money back to you, after we have given it back to them. Please do NOT email us with nasty-grams, accusing us of everything from stealing your money to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby, because we'll be just as snappy with you as you are with us. After all, the answer to your question was printed right here, all along.

I placed my order, but now I realize I made a mistake. Can I email you with a correction or update? Please? Just this once??

Nein. Nyet. Nos. Nay. In a word.......NO! Never! Not even this once!
As directed a hundred times all through this website and even on the personalization forms themselves, you must SUBMIT A NEW FORM. Just submit the form -- do NOT continue through the payment process again, or you'll be charged again!

I tried to buy something on your site but my credit card was declined. This is BS! My credit card should work!

The most common reasons an issuing bank declines a transaction include, but are not limited to:

• The cardholder has exceeded the account's credit limit.
• The cardholder is late on payment to the issuing bank.
• The cardholder has specified to the issuing bank that the cardholder would not like Internet-based transactions to be approved for that card.
• These are usually referred to as [REASON 2] by your card company. "Reason 2" is an error issued by YOUR card company, and not by us or any company affiliated with us. You must resolve all Reason-2 declines with your own card company.
  
  

REASON 2, REASON 4, REASON 27 Declines, more info

REASON 27: The address you entered as your billing address does not match the address the credit card company has on file for that card.

REASONS 2, 4: We have received so many nasty, insulting emails regarding transactions being declined for "REASON 2" (or 4) that we simply won't tolerate any more. Please, we beg you, look and listen: When a transaction is declined due to this error: [REASON 2 or 4], it is NOT an error that we, or our system, or our shopping cart, or our credit card processor, issues or has any control over. It is an error that YOUR card company issues to OUR card processor prohibiting the sale under any conditions. We simply pass that error code to you. There is nothing we can change in our cart that will stop a REASON 2 or 4 decline from being issued, BECAUSE IT IS ISSUED DIRECTLY FROM YOUR OWN BANK OR CREDIT CARD COMPANY, and NOT from, or by, us. We're not sure how many times or in how many ways we must say this. Maybe large red crayon would help. A spray-painted stencil? Sky-writers? We have no more control over your bank or its policies than you have over ours.

Even MORE info:
A REASON 2 decline means that (1) you are over your card limit and your card issuer has frozen further use of your card until you pay down the balance, or (2) it means that you are late on your payments and your card company has frozen your card until you pay down the balance, or (3) the cardholder has specified to the issuing bank that the cardholder would not like Internet-based transactions to be approved for that card, or (4) there's some other catastrophic problem OF YOUR OWN DOING with your account and your card issuer needs either MONEY, or a direct conversation with you before you can continue to use that card. This information is all available from a hundred different sources on the Net, as well as from your own bank. Please DO NOT write us a nasty email (or any email at all) whining about how screwed up we are because you keep getting declined for a REASON 2 or 4. That simply shows the user up to be a consummate fool (see the "Kitty from Maine/Utah" nonsense in the comments area below). We are absolutely sick to death of receiving messages demanding that we allow a REASON 2 or 4 transaction to go through. Just exactly how would that customer suggest we do that? --pay down their balance for them? We're also tired of receiving obnoxious demands that we "call right back" so the customer can give us their credit card info over the phone, thinking that will somehow bypass a REASON 2 or REASON 4 or even a REASON 27 decline. It won't! Credit card info submitted by phone goes through PRECISELY the same system as it does when submitted through a shopping cart interface on the Net. Merely submitting it by phone will not magically pay down the balance on a customer's card or straighten out an address discrepancy with the bank! The customer will STILL get a REASON 2 or 4 decline until THEY CORRECT THE PROBLEM. This ain't rocket science.

Here's one last tidbit of info: We typically ONLY see REASON 2 and REASON 4 declines on transactions which attempt to purchase one or another fake pregnancy items. Is there a deep, insidious meaning to this, sociologically? Yes. In any case, try going HERE to view an explanation of the error codes. The explanations are cryptic at best. Trying searching for error 2 or 4. Notice that there is practically no explanation at all. That's because, for most errors, the card issuers will not tell the card processors exactly why they are declining a transaction. If the card issuers will not tell the card processors, the card processors cannot tell us, and we can't tell you. The above represents ALL we know about these transaction declines, and even this has been painfully extracted from these companies over time, like pulling teeth with pliers from the mouth of a spoiled lion, fully awake and without one cc of Lidocane. In our opinion this entire situation represents a stupefyingly counter-productive attitude on the parts of the card issuers, because it does not present their customer (you) or the retailer (US), with a path to follow to correct the problem. Unfortunately, financial institutions as a whole are not known for their honesty, professionalism, or even basic competence and we suspect these problems will be around for decades to come. We're sorry for the rant but this has become an incredibly irritating problem.

REASON #250 Declines

REASON 250: If you're declined for [REASON 250], it's our doing. Reason 250 means that we've specifically and explicitly banned you from ordering from us. Usually that's because of some problem we've had with you in the past, but it could be due, simply, to activity on our website or in our shopping cart which we see as "suspicious". If you've tried to order inappropriate products in the past (Fake Home Medical Tests for Cancer, for instance, or Fake Drug Prescriptions for Cancer Treatment or Pre-Natal Vitamins, let's say), we may have blocked you for that.

REASON #65 Declines

REASON 65: This means you entered the card code (located on the back of your card) incorrectly. This could mean that you simply typed the wrong number and you should try again, or it could mean that the card you're trying to use is not really yours, and if we print and ship your product, we'll never get paid for it.

You charged my card once, twice (or thrice) even though my order was declined! What kind of rip-off bastards are you, anyway?!

Even in the case of a cancelled order, YOUR BANK will still often reserve the funds that would have gone to pay for your order. In the case of a declined transaction, WE do not EVER get your money, but your own bank often sets it aside because.......because WHY? --Not for any morally upstanding reason, we're pretty sure. This is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we have no control over it. Your bank will usually automatically clear those funds within a few days. Please do NOT email us to ask why we charged your card, when the order was cancelled. We have NOT charged your card in this instance. It is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we frankly feel it's ridiculous.

I filled out one of your forms and clicked SUBMIT, but either NOTHING happened, or something "bad" happened! What kind of idiot bastards are you, anyway?!

Programmers are idiots, almost to a (wo)man. Shakespeare wrote, "Kill all the lawyers". We say, "Kill all the programmers". When you submit a form, several things can delay it or otherwise screw it up. Sometimes a connection between you and us (Houston) is slow and/or in the process of failing. Sometimes a bit can "get stuck" in your browser's cache, especially with Microsoft, not so much with Netscape, and seldom with Mozilla incarnations. If this is the case, shutting down the browser and restarting it will usually cure it. Or even rebooting the computer, especially if it's a Windows machine (almost never if it's a Linux system, but still fairly often if it's a Mac). Clearing the cache in a browser will often or usually help as well -- instructions are different depending on the browser. Also, a common problem is large image attachments. Pics need not usually be over, say, 100-200k, yet sometimes customers try to upload some ten meg (10,000k) monstrosity. Our forms will actually handle those, provided the customer is willing to sit and wait. Unfortunately, we've found no form that RELIABLY shows the progress of an upload, so we've opted for a form which doesn't even try to show the progress. Your browser may or may not attempt this seemingly simple feat using a progress bar somewhere around the bottom of the window. If you've attached no images to whatever form you're trying to submit, then the problem lies in the browser, the cache, etc. If you have attached an image, check the size of the image, and note your connection speed. If you're on dial-up you'll physically age noticeably before your image gets uploaded, almost regardless of its size. If you're on a broadband link, even ten megs should go pretty quickly -- say less than two minutes. Also remember that you can test any form by just typing a few characters of gibberish into each field that does not already have something in it. The only fields that won't accept gibberish are the email fields, which require a proper email format, and the anti-spammer code (if implemented on that particular form). We never see the test forms, so test away -- saves the irritation of carefully typing in all your data only to have it GLITCH on you, something that drives us right straight to the brink of homicide when WE are the victims of it on some other site. Obviously you don't get charged for anything until several pages after the form, when you input your credit card data. So many people think they're getting charged even before they've input their credit card number. That represents an oddly skewed sense of reality.

I want you to ship to an address other than my registered billing address. Can this be done?

Yes.
The credit card companies have a policy which states that if we ship to an alternate address, the card holder may simply say they didn't receive the item, and the card company will instantaneously jerk our earned funds right out of our account and give the money back to the customer. The customer then gets the product for free, and we get.....the shaft. More and more bad customers are becoming aware of this and are taking advantage of it. Many companies have figured this out -- some still have not, and they take a chance every single time they ship to an alternate address, even if they have performed a verification with the customer. Even in cases where we have made the customer agree, in writing, to accept delivery of their order at an alternate address, the card companies have refused to honor that contract if the customer claims not to have received the product (even when we have their signature on the delivery receipt), and have taken our money away from us anyway. Even if we personally call the customer at the phone number that's registered to their account, and verify that it's OK to ship to the alternate address they request, the card companies have shown that they will STILL deduct those funds from our account if the customer desires. We've had enough. We have truly had enough of this nonsense with dishonest customers. Our losses due to this problem are in the tens of thousands. Enough is enough. Really. Truly. We're foaming all about the mouth here, verging on stroking out. We've had it with this address problem for all time. If you MUST have an item shipped to an alternate address, we'll accept your order only via bank wire transfer. You can initiate that process by clicking here. Credit cards are not allowed in that process (unless your bank will accept them as payment for the wire transfer). We'll ship to any address in the world via that method, because we are guaranteed to get paid. If this option isn't suitable, then you should not order from us.

OK, OK, but I STILL want my order shipped to an alternate address. There must be SOME way to do this?!?

Again: You can use our International ordering process. If you use it, we will ship to any address in the world. Go here.

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About using this public forum

WARNING:

Your message is not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination. You should be aware that the contents of this contact may be monitored to ensure compliance with the TrixiePixGraphics user policy. Replies to this message, and including all communications sent to or through the TrixiePixGraphics.com, National-Media.org and FakeNewspapers.com domains, are not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination.

Due to two extremely unpleasant customers in early August of 2007 (police complaints have been filed against both), and to a small handful of similar such people before them in the preceding decade, and due to an exponential increase in spams and scams and "spoofing", and due to so many hosts and servers and data centers around the world going overboard to try to stop spam (i.e. AOL) and thereby accidentally blocking millions of legitimate emails between customers and vendors, and due to misconfigured email accounts and mis-typed email addresses and emails lost in spam-folders and email clients which simply don't work, are buggy or corrupted, and due to substance-abusing (or downright handicapped) ex-customers who try to say we said things we did not-- we have adopted a new Customer Service procedure as follows:

Henceforth all customer service inquiries will be displayed publicly on the form below. All responses will be displayed publicly on the form below. We do harvest IP addresses and other data; if you abuse this system it is quick and simple to send the documentation to your ISP -- in fact we've automated it. Problem-cases are virtually always traceable even if they've entered a phony email address.

By default your email address, phone, and other identifying data about you is hidden from public view. We reserve the right to display it in the case of abusive or stupid entries. When you click "submit", your message will be heavily filtered for offensive keywords and unpleasant phrases. If it doesn't survive the initial filters it is deleted automatically and we will not be aware of your submission. If you feel you do not wish to risk placing your inquiry into the public domain, then you should not use this form. This is our sole means of customer support.

Replies are posted into the same box in which your original message appears. The message thread shows newest inquiries and replies at the BEGINNING of this form window. To check for our reply, you must come back to this page (bookmark it, please) and check the latest entries on the TOP of the first page for any reply to your message. You will NOT receive an email in any case, because we have spent far too much time responding at length to customers' inquiries, only to have them send a nasty email a week later demanding to know why we didn't respond. We then almost always find our response in a spam-folder in their email program, or we find that AOL or some other company of dazed and confused evil munchkins has blocked it from reaching the recipient. We can no longer afford the time to sort those problems out.

We choose, from this point forward, to do business with the polite, the courteous, the respectful and, hopefully, the intelligent. We will never again interact with people the likes of which we endured in early August of 2007. If you are rude and offensive by nature, please don't shop here. If we make a mistake on your order (about one in every 2000), we'll tolerate a BIT of abuse, because we'll deserve it. But if you are here to complain because YOU made a mistake in ordering your product, and you are demanding that WE replace it for free, there will be no conversation at all. If you're the type of person who might complain that you received confirmation of shipping faster than you believed possible, and, therefore, you feel we must have simply stolen your money and not shipped your product at all, please shop elsewhere. Those describe our interactions with the two hideous customers in August 2007. Straws really can break Camels' backs -- those two broke ours. One of the purposes of this public method of handling customer service is to determine if people will tend to be more polite when they know their comments are public -- or if, rather, they will merely help us demonstrate how vicious and nasty some customers can be, even when there is no problem with their order or its delivery. Either scenario will mean this approach has succeeded. Consider this, then, a sociological experiment that you are taking part in, in real-time.

You're limited to 1000 characters per each message. Anti-spamming is in effect. You may only submit so many entries per hour. HTML is disabled. You'll always receive a reply within 24 hours (assuming the message is understandable), but very often within a few hours, and somewhat often within a few minutes.

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Many orders are printed within minutes of receipt. Any "special requests" for order customization should be addressed BEFORE placing any order with any company. Orders are prepared and printed as shown on the representative product page. Requests for special handling that are submitted through this form after an order has been placed will be virtually guaranteed not to reach the print shop in time to be incorporated into an order. Again: requests for special customization of products are seldom granted, but in any case must be tendered BEFORE an order is placed.

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I Need to make a change or correct a mistake in my personalization form:

Important!

1. Please DO NOT submit changes, updates or corrections to your personalized product via this form. Corrections, changes or updates MUST be submitted by completing a NEW FORM for the product you ordered. When submitting a correction do NOT proceed through the payment process a second time! Merely submit the form and you're done.

2. Please DO NOT submit changes, updates or corrections to your personalized product via this form. Corrections, changes or updates MUST be submitted by completing a NEW FORM for the product you ordered. When submitting a correction do NOT proceed through the payment process a second time! Merely submit the form and you're done.

3. Please DO NOT submit changes, updates or corrections to your personalized product via this form. Corrections, changes or updates MUST be submitted by completing a NEW FORM for the product you ordered. When submitting a correction do NOT proceed through the payment process a second time! Merely submit the form and you're done.

Thank you

Who's on First? Who's on Second? Who's on Smack? Who's on Crack?
Please, please, PLEASE.....we beg you:
READ the above answers to 98% of all questions BEFORE
submitting that same question in the forum below.

WARNING

Messages Submitted through this form are NOT PRIVATE
By using the service below you are agreeing to the terms of this page

REMEMBER:
You will NOT receive ANY email in response to your inquiry.
All replies are posted on this page, oldest at the END.
You must RETURN TO THIS PAGE to read our reply.

Customer Service

Post Message Customer Service :: 299 Entries - Page 1 of 1 Bold Entries new since last visit.

Message Date: 5.11.2008 Author: Paul Hello, I'm looking to have to have the small newspaper article printed (the 10 for $16.95). I'm curious, if I plan to order more than 10, can I have any denominations other than 10 printed, for instance, can I order 15? Also, is it a flat rate per 10 that I order, even if the article is the same? For instance, if I order 20 of the same article is it simply $16.95 x 2? REPLY: This is a $16 item, on which we actually lose about a buck and a half. We continue to offer it at this price because it's not really worth more than this, and because it's simply an item that a fake newspaper company must offer. It's rather like the corner store that used to sell penny candy. By the time they stocked the candy and processed it at the register and fooled around with it in every other way, they actually lost money on the product. They continued to offer it for a penny, however, because that's all it was worth, and small corner stores simply had to offer it, or customers would go somewhere else for their larger purchases. Same thing here. We're not interested in fooling around with this product in such a way that we lose even more money on it. We offer what we offer. We couldn't even begin to think about setting up a different story for each sheet in the 10-count order, nor are we interested in trying to come up with a price that involves counting pennies for a 15-count instead of a 10 or 20-count, and then creating a buy-button and a script to handle that non-standard price. Sorry. Date: 5.9.2008 Author: Hayley Hiya Thanks for replying so quickly. I have submitted a new form with my full adress on now you have upped the number of characters. I think i have prob submitted a few forms whilst i was trying to buy online yesterday, sorry. I will be going to the bank shortly to do the wire transfer as it wont allow it online. Also your return address is fine - i was just worried it would have the product name written on it. Thanks Again Hayley x Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Katy To Whom It May Concern: I ordered two products April, 24 2008 and still today I didn't received. I know they are in San Bernardino, this is what my trucking is telling me. I really need an help on this matter. I know sometime UPS is slow but it has been more than 10 days that I am waiting. A prompt response will ne appreciated. Best regards, Katy REPLY: This is definately longer than it should take (and by the way, this is USPS, not UPS). But the tracking shows that it has left San Bernadino and should be on the delivery truck for you. We would guess that if you didn't receive it today, you should have it on Friday. Once a package has left our shipper there is absolutely nothing we can do to influence its delivery one way or another. We can't stop it; we can't hurry it up; we can't change its course. We have ZERO control after we give it to the carrier. We wish we did. Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Hayley Hi, Sorry lots of questions which are probably me being stupid! I would like to order the fake dna paternity test but i would like to check it i shipped in plain packaging, also i live in England and the shipping adress only allows 50 characters which isnt enough to put my full address. Last thing i submitted the data info but it didnt go to a payment page. Do i just do a bank transfer? Can you give me the right details and price in gbp please? Your help would be appreciated. Thanks x x x x x x REPLY: Our shopping cart no longer handles International orders. The fraud was just too much to deal with. International customers may order via wire transfer only. The procedure is to complete the International form, then print the next page that comes up. That's as far as you can go online. You need to take that form to your bank and ask them to initiate a wire transfer; they'll take it from there. As soon as your funds arrive in our account we will process the form you completed and ship your product. Regarding conversaion rates, there are countless websites that will do a conversion from any currency for you. Yes, all items are shipped in plain packages, though the return address will show as TrixiePixGraphics.com. If you need the return address altered to something more mundane, just email us and let us know. The actual street address must remain the same but the company name can be changed to anything. We often use something like "Grand's Fine Candies" (etc.) when a customer needs this. Re the number of characters allowed in the form, we'll bump it up. Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Chay Willette I just received a message from you saying that Cust. refused to supply data to complete order. $10 cancellation fee. Customer not allowed to order again. I did not receive any notice regarding any request for data. I would have gladly supplied any data you needed for my order. Can you please help? Thank you so much. REPLY: This is what transpired; our first email to you (below) explains the problem: "Info needed, first request: We've set up your giant check template and are ready to proceed with processing. However, it appears you've ordered the wrong product. The product you ordered is located at the following link. Please note the large red print at the top of that page: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-1_giant_checks.html. We believe you meant to order the check at the FOLLOWING link. That check allows you to enter fields such as the date of the check, what it's for, etc. etc. Please go to this link and complete the form. After you've submitted the form please do NOT continue on through the payment process again. You've already paid for your order. We only need the completed form. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-8_giant_checks.html. Thank you." When we received no reply to that we sent it again a day or two later. When we still received no reply we sent it AGAIN, a day or two after that. When we STILL received no reply we cancelled the order, refunded all but $10 per our standard order cancellation fee, cancelled the shipping label we'd created and requested a refund from USPS for the shipping, and we deleted out your file. All of this required more time and work than just filling the order would have required. If you wish to place the order again, you may do so, starting from scratch. Please read the large, bold, red print near the top of each Giant Checks page. For instance, the page you ordered from has this warning near the top of the page in large, bold, red print: "CAUTION: This item requires that you supply your own complete image of a check. If you'd rather just fill in the blanks on one of our pre-made checks, please click HERE to go back to the giant checks main menu." Since you did not supply an image of a check, but just your logo image, we believe you meant to order the check located at this url: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-8_giant_checks.html Date: 5.7.2008 Author: Miguel de jesus I would like to order 5 sets (total 10) of full size newspaper, identical headlines. I need 5 copies and 5 spares, to be used in a production of Stephen Sondheim ASSASSINS. Is there a price break for multiples of identical copies? REPLY: Please see the entry directly below this. Date: 5.6.2008 Author: Lisa We are a local community theatre group, It's Only Tuesday Productions (www.itsonlytuesday.com) and will be performing Chicago the Musical the first weekend in June, 2008 (with not a very large budget). We need (4) copies of a Chicago newspaper (don't care what name as long as Chicago is in the title and it's "clean") with the large headline "Roxie Rocks Chicago". Date needs to be in the 1920's and not concerned with all other text. What would the price be for 4 copies of the same print?. Front / Back page only would be fine as we can stick our local paper inside to fill. Thank you! REPLY: We begin volume negotiations at 25 copies and above. Thanks. Date: 5.1.2008 Author: lakita i'm trying to get an ultrasound that shows that i'm 18 weeks pregnant with a 80% chance of baby's sex being a female. which ultrasound should i choose. Is it possible for me to have a miscarriage at 19 weeks with this kind of ultrasound. REPLY: Sorry, this is not a question we could even remotely begin to answer. UPDATE: USPS has rejected your address as invalid. Please provide an address that USPS will accept. Thank you. UPDATE: Second Request: USPS has rejected your address as invalid. Please provide an address that USPS will accept. Thank you. REPLY from customer: my mailing address is 315 koger circle apt #2 , Lake City , S.C. , 29560 how long will it be before i receive my pkg.? REPLY: You’ve given us the exact same address that you gave us for the original order. We asked you for an address that is valid for USPS. USPS rejects the address you’ve supplied and will not allow us to create a shipping label for that address. At this time we are cancelling your order. We suggest that you talk directly with your local post office to find out why they will not allow the address you supplied. You’ll see a credit on your card in about 3-10 days. You may order again once you’ve fixed the address problem, but ONLY if you can supply an address that USPS will accept. REPLY from Customer: you can ship to this address 330 Elm Street , Lake City, S.C. 29560 REPLY: The order has already been cancelled and you’ve already been refunded. You may order again, but if you do, the address you enter into our cart must: (1) Exactly match the address on your credit card, and (2) Must be accepted by USPS. If the new address you just now gave us doesn’t match the address for your card, that order would be cancelled as well. Again, we suggest that you check with your post office to find out why they reject your original address. Once that is resolved, you will need to correct the address with your card-issuer. Once that is done, you’ll be able to order online without any glitches. REPLY from Customer: the second address was not the exact same as the first one . the first address contained an r in kroger and the second one didn't did you check the address without the r . I understand that i've been refunded but it says it can take up to 10 business days for refund. I really need the ultra sound pix within the next week can you recharge my card or reverse the refund and use the new address i provided REPLY: We’ve attached a small jpg that is a screen-print of the error usps issues when we try to make a label for the second address you gave us (incorrect zipcode). At this point we have invested more time in this than we could possibly recover by selling you this product. It really is required that customers who order online know where they live. We are blocking you from ordering and from communicating with us again. We simply can’t afford to waste any more time on something that every other customer can figure out. Date: 5.1.2008 Author: BillSy Regarding your Custom Gift Wrap Product: If the paper gets wet will the ink run or be prone to smear? REPLY: YES! If you use this product underwater, in the rain, in the shower, under a waterfall, while waterskiing, in the sauna, while running through the sprinkler or fighting a fire.......the paper will disintegrate and the ink will run. We could print this through another printer that uses waterproof inks at a higher cost, but even so-called "waterproof" inks will break down and run if gotten wet enough. But even if the ink didn't run, the paper would fall apart. So, no, we don't offer waterproof custom gift-wrap. If we could see even the remotest, slightest need for it, we would. With even reasonable care this paper will perform just fine. But it is NOT, and never will be, "dishwasher safe". Date: 4.30.2008 Author: krystal I saw where you have a "pet death certificate", and I was wondering if you also would make "people death certificates? REPLY: We've thought about that over the years, but we can't come up with a scenario in which it could be used for any humorous or legitimate purpose. If we could see a purpose for it beyond some kind of fraud, we'd probably go ahead and offer them. Ideas? Date: 4.27.2008 Author: Elliot Diviney Hi, I'm trying to submit a full-sized, 300 dpi jpg image for a full page print, but I'm getting a server error through my web browser. The file is 9.6 MB in size. Can I simply email it to you? Thank you. Reply: The form is "supposed" to take up to 10 megs, but 9.8 is so close it might be interpreting the size differently. Please, just reply and email it. Sorry for the trouble. If you still have trouble we'll turn on our public ftp server. Date: 4.26.2008 Author: larissa Roux Hi there, I just tried placing an order, but my shipping address is different from my billing address, although both are in the US, and your form doesn't allow for 2 different addresses. What to I do? Larissa REPLY: Due to absolutely rampant credit card fraud we now ONLY ship to the registered billing address on the card. It's the only way we can be sure of being paid. Date: 4.25.2008 Author: Jim I ordered a book titled evey thing I Know about Pai Gow Poker. I uploaded a picture for the front cover and expected to get the book with the picture I uploaded. I received the book with skyline picture of Vegas. I don't want this picture on the book, I want the book with the picture I uplaoded to your Web Site. Please get back with me and let me know how you can resolve this issue. Jim REPLY: The personalization form you submitted is shown below. Note that you did NOT include any image with this form. There is not even a path to an image that may have failed to upload. We tried to offer a little extra and provide an image for your book. We will now change that policy. Please return the book to the address on the package it came in; we will refund when we receive it. We will not create another product in this instance. The problem of customers saying they filled out the form in some certain way, when they did not, is one we have come to regard as akin to fingernails on a blackboard. You will have your own copy of the form you filled out if you printed it as directed after submitting it, and you will have the emailed copy of the form you filled out. You will note in both copies that no image was uploaded or even pointed to in the form. Our new policy will be to fulfill the order EXACTLY as the customer submits it, and we will NOT attempt to make the product nicer or better than what is ordered. In this case, the book should have been printed with no image at all. We regret our decision to alter it from what was ordered. This offer to refund is valid for ten business days. Your return should be postmarked within that time. The following information has been submitted on 04-11-2008 21:28:00 by 68.41.67.70: Customer's First Name: James Customer's Last Name: Garrity Email: ashipmate@yahoo.com Title of Book: Everything I know About Pai Gow Poker By (Name of Author): Shaun O'Harra Upload an Image: I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes: Yes Verify Authentication Code: 78354 Date: 4.25.2008 Author: Lisa I placed an order a long while ago, one for a DNA test and one for ultrasound pics. I recieved the ultrasound pics but I never recieved the DNA test, can you please check on that for me? thanks, lee REPLY: This order was placed over TWO MONTHS ago. It should have been followed up on far sooner than this. This order was processed and shipped during a USPS server outage; therefore we cannot prove that the fake dna test was shipped. We are shipping a replacement at this moment. You'll receive a tracking number directly from the carrier. A signature with ID will be required upon delivery. We will adjust our policy regarding the amount of time that has passed for customers to dispute a delivery and we will force a delivery signature on all items henceforth. UPDATE: Both USPS and FedEx are now rejecting your address as invalid. We have elected to refund to you instead of shipping another product. Date: 4.24.2008 Author: glenn i need help with a order.. REPLY: We noted your previous entry below, and we replied to it. We're unable to help unless we know what the problem is. Please state the trouble you're having and we'll reply within 24 hours (often within minutes). Date: 4.23.2008 Author: Dave Many thanks for the excellent work on the paper (we're using as a film prop). The director was ecstatic over the finished product. After having tried to "sell" a white-paper version on camera, he knew he needed the real deal. Local new presses didn't offer any help - obviously that's not why they're in business. But after finding you folks, it was a no-brainer. And your turnaround was stellar. Thanks again! REPLY: Holy cow! You must have received the $2.50 we sent you to post this comment! Thanks! If we were rich, we'd much rather work for kind comments than money. This makes our day. Thanks again. Date: 4.23.2008 Author: glenn i was wondering how to send a picture in to get in the newspapper.please let me know. REPLY: On each product page there is a form. Each form has two fields for uploading your images. Each field has a specific purpose (please read the little help/explanation for each one). To attach your photo(s) to any form, click the BROWSE button in the form and browse to the image on your hard drive. When you finally submit the form, the form will take a copy of that image from your hard drive and send it to us. Date: 4.21.2008 Author: Greg Fraser Hi, i am a Painting & Printmaking student in my final Year at the Glasgow School of Art and i need aged(yellowed) newsprint for a book i am making. It has to be A3 or over and blank. I need about 100 sheets of this, would this be possible? Thank you for your reply in advance. Cheers Greg. REPLY: Sorry, we're not willing to sell aged newsprint blank. It's worth far more to us as a printed product, and it's not something we have large quantities of. Date: 4.17.2008 Author: Tamisha Date: 4.17.2008 IP: 71.203.176.13 Author: Tamisha Name Tamisha Pumphrey Phone 904-483-1716 Order # 52729035 City or Town Jacksonville Hello, I requested that my order be stopped, and the payment for the item still posted to my account. I would like to have that $23.23 USD charge refunded please. Thank you, Tamisha REPLY: Please READ this page. Your question is answered just above this in about five different ways. Your order was cancelled per your request (shown a few blocks below this). Against our better judgement we elected not to charge you our standard order cancellation fee. We now deeply regret that decision, and we will charge it in the future regardless of circumstances. Again, you must ACTUALLY READ this page before submitting a question because 99% of all questions have already been answered here. 1799747xxx Settled Successfully 11-Apr-2008 18:32:33 Pumphrey, Tamisha V XXXX5498 USD 23.23 11-Apr-2008 22:18:30 USD 23.23 1799880XXX Refund 11-Apr-2008 23:29:50 Pumphrey, Tamisha V XXXX5498 USD (23.23) 12-Apr-2008 22:20:10 USD (23.23) Date: 4.15.2008 Author: Anthony I'm contemplating the idea of having a custom magazine created showcasing my resume. My question is related to the "...advertisements, and other stories of a varied and eclectic nature." Would the filler stories and such be considered appropriate for a corporate environment (i.e. non-discriminatory and free of coarse language and bawdy adult material)? I personally have no reservations towards swearing & nudity, in fact I wholeheartedly embrace them... but I wouldn't want a potential employer to know that! Thank you in advance. REPLY: All filler material in the magazines is perfectly prim and proper, of course. Date: 4.12.2008 Author: Dave Greetings. I am designing a newspaper prop for a feature film. The paper will be shown in closeup and needs to be a whole size format, although only the front page will be seen. I'd like to submit a full front-page layout (leaving the rest to your standard dummy layout). I noticed one of the faq's mentioned submitting a 300dpi jpeg. I can do this but am amenable to other press options if necessary. Assuming this is a special request, how do I get through the ordering process? Also, as an up front concern, this would need to be shipped in a roll as opposed to a three-way fold. Most of the film is shot, but pickups (and this closeup) are being shot this Spring. If you're interested (and to see we're legit) you can check out the site: www.truenaturethefilm.com. Many thanks! REPLY: This is really just a standard order. Please do the layout in whatever layout program you like, then save as a bitmap (jpg being the easiest to send). DPI at print size can be as low as 150. To place the order, just order normally, using the "write your own from scratch" option. For the fields, just type a few characters of gibberish (you can do this to test any form as well), and send your page image by pointing to it in the image upload field. When you click SUBMIT it may take a few moments for the form to send the image, since the image will be larger than the usual inset photo. The form can handle sizes up to 10 megs. Once the form has been sent, you're taken to a page that prompts you to print it for your records; then, near the top of the page, there's a huge link which says "CONTINUE". Click that to continue through the shopping cart process. There really is nothing different here than a regular order. When we see that your image is of the entire front page, we would automatically use it for the front page. No price difference. We process these every day. And yes, we're happy to send it in rolled (not folded) form. Thanks. Date: 4.11.2008 Author: Tamisha I ordered this gift to be rude to my ex-fiance who cheated on me with another girl and who is now going to marry the girl on may 3 of this year. I would like to cancle the order. It is not right, and I feel bad for doing it. It is a petty thing for me to do and I want to stop the order. REPLY: Your order has been cancelled. Cancelled orders are subject to our posted $10 cancellation fee. We will go into the system tonight at 10:30 p.m., after the day's transaction dump to the card processor, and manually stop the transaction. You'll see a credit on your card statement usually wthin 2-4 business days. Update: The crew voted not to charge the order cancellation fee on this, though they were sorely tempted. Date: 4.9.2008 Author: Justin Douglas I ordered two seperate newspapers from you back around the middle of March. The one set of newspapers came but the others didn't. However I got charged for both... I was wondering where the second one was? REPLY: We've scoured through the records here and have found both of your orders. One of them, as you said, was shipped. The other went into a black hole. We think what happened was that the shopping cart company has set up their system in such a way so as to "automatically protect" the customer (sounds like Microsoft). Unfortunately it backfires as often as not. Whenever two orders come in from the same customer, close together (as in a few minutes apart), the system automatically thinks that customer has accidentally placed the second order. In a ham-fisted attempt to prevent double-billing on the same order, the system sends the second order to the "error" bin. We think that's what happened here, since your second order was only a couple of minutes after the first. Your second order should have been considered missing by the end of March -- you needn't have waited so long to gripe at us, and gripe you should. We can either immediately refund you for the second order, or we can immediately print it and send it out. If you choose to process your missing order, please complete a new form (after submitting the form do NOT, of course, go through the payment process again; just submit the form and you're done). Just let us know what you prefer. We apologize profusely for the problem. It wasn't "technically" our fault -- well, actually it IS technically our fault. We should have caught it, and we're sorry we didn't. Update: We're sorry we didn't hear back from you. We've now refunded your card. Date: 4.9.2008 Author: Bridgett Rodriguez Hello I placed an order about an hour ago and reliazed that I would like rush delivery can I still do that? It is very important, thanks Bridge REPLY: Can do that, but "Rush" adds roughly $40-42 to your order. If you're SURE you want to upgrade please answer back in this forum and say, "You have permission to charge my card for "Rush" processing and delivery." We'll then manually add that to your card. Our night shift here is over at midnight (20 mins from now) but if we hear back from you quickly enough we can try to process this tonight so as to ship out Wednesday. If we don't hear back from you in time tonight it will ship out Thursday (assuming Rush is ordered), or within 72 hours if Rush is not ordered. Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin Ok. I thought that was my last question. But I have one more. How do I order 4 whole papers? I am afraid that if I order the same exact paper twice (4 copies total) that you may think I am trying to update and not order a total of 4. Thanks, Kevin REPLY: The shopping cart will ask you for a quantity. Since the whole size automatically comes with two, you would choose a quantity of 2 to get a total of four. If you need two different stories/headlines, just submit a form for each one, then go through the payment process and specify a quantity for the total number you need. Two will be printed for each form submission. Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin Great! one more question. is there a dicount for multiple copies of the same paper? Looking for 4 or possibly 8. Thanks, Kevin REPLY: Sorry, we don't start negotiating volume discounts until we get into the 25+ copies range. Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin We are a theater company and are doing a show that requires a NEW YORK TIMES newspaper with a seperate headline. Is this possible? Can you print NEW YORK TIMES? We are running out of options. Thanks, Kevin REPLY: For almost ten years our attorney told us we couldn't use "The New York Times"; now she's reversed herself and says we can. So, yes, no problem. It prints in the New York Times font as well. Please let us know if you need an extra large headline. Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Izzy I'm trying to place an order, I fill out the form and every time that I click summit nothing happens. I already deleted my cache files, and no, Im not attaching a picture. What else can be preventing me from summiting my order form? Thanks. REPLY: Kill all the programmers. That's our best advice. But if that's not feasible, we suggest rebooting, and try the form again using just gibberish in the fields as a test. We've received orders all day with no reported problems, so it could be that your computer is not liking our computer. Rebooting will usually clear it, but every once in awhile, perhaps once or twice a year, we see a situation where some particular computer simply won't allow a form to submit properly. Please tell us which form, specifically, and we'll test it from here. You can also try one or two other forms (just enter gibberish as a test) to see if you're having trouble with all forms, or just one. And please always remember: Computers suck. Date: 4.3.2008 Author: Cheryl Spencer Please send me info to post great remarks!!! I couldn't be more trilled with entire process and delivered product! You guys rock!! REPLY: We were going to all kill ourselves last night (because we were feeling unappreciated), but we figured we'd wait until today in hopes there would be a customer just like you. Thanks. If we could, we'd forget the loot and just work for kind comments. We'll take all we can get. Date: 4.2.2008 Author: john I am thinking of ordering a fake newspaper.Can you write the body for an additional fee? Thank You REPLY: Sorry, we no longer provide that service. Date: 4.1.2008 Author: Allyssa 2. Hi, my name is Allyssa Rosenau. I just turned eighteen and I would say around the beginning of February I experienced identity theft. My mother decided I should have a debit card and checkbook for experience, but she also checked it on an hourly basis. We noticed a couple charges that I didn't do, so we went to the bank and canceled my card and filled out forms for random online sites such as overstock.com. I made sure and double checked it was not something I bought, but one of the things I just got an email saying they had a signature on delivery. It was for a website called trixie pix graphics, which when looking at my bank statement it doesn't say the full name and when looking up the address on the bank statement provided a pizza hut in Seattle Washington, which was kind of weary because I ate at pizza hut that same day with my debit card. REPLY: You have submitted seven (7) rambling entries here; we've deleted the duplicates. We'll answer this one time only. We've blocked you from bombarding this forum again. You placed an order with us for a fake pregnancy test. We filled the order and shipped your merchandise. We shipped it to THE EXACT ADDRESS that is registered with your bank. The item arrived at that address, and YOU SIGNED FOR IT. You now have that merchandise in your possession. You then filed a chargeback stating that you did not order that item. Yet we have your order, placed from your computer, at your IP address. And we have your signature on the delivery receipt. Based on your statements to them, your bank has now taken our money out of our account and given it back to you, yet you still have the product we provided to you. We want our money back. When you file a chargeback it costs us even more money, plus the time to fight it. Now we REALLY want our money back. Regarding your convoluted story about Pizza Hut........HUH? There is a Pizza Hut in the complex where our shipping center resides. It has nothing to do with us, and nothing to do with you, and nothing to do with this order. The charge on your card was from TrixiePixGraphics, not Pizza Hut. The product you received was from TrixiePixGraphics, not Pizza Hut. The money you have bamboozled us out of is OURS, not Pizza Hut's. We want OUR money back. From a legal standpoint, we have the order originating from your own IP address. We have the order being shipped to YOUR EXACT ADDRESS. We have YOUR SIGNATURE on the delivery receipt. The court needs nothing more. You have told your bank that you didn't place this order and didn't receive the merchandise. We believe this is not an innocent mistake; we believe it is a flat-out lie. We believe, given the evidence, that the court will see it the same way. How can you explain the order being placed from your own computer? How can you explain the fact that it was sent not to some other address, but to YOUR address. And how can you explain YOUR signature on the delivery receipt? We'll videotape the small claims court session and post it right here. We are so, so, SO sick of scammers and shysters and rip-off artists. We battle them every single day, without exception or let-up. They never stop. We get angrier and angrier and angrier, just trying to keep from being shafted by these bottom-feeders. In those instances where we can catch them red-handed and prosecute them, we do. You cannot possibly have forgotten placing this order. You cannot possibly say you don't remember signing for it AT YOUR OWN ADDRESS. You cannot possibly say you've forgotten receiving the product. You've taken from us the money we earned. We want it back. We intend to get it. Now, again, per our snail-mail demand for payment, either pay us for the product we provided you, or we will sue you either by proxy in small claims court, or we will sue you in person when we go to the Oshkosh air show this (and every) year. You have the address to remit the payment to. We suggest you do it without delay. Our fraud complaint stands. PS: You've been blocked from ever ordering from us again (goes without saying). We do NOT believe this is "an innocent mistake". There's just too much black and white evidence for that argument to hold water. UPDATE, 4-25-08: We received a money order to pay for this item. We consider the matter closed but never forgotten. We've now lost only about $20 due to this customer's shenanigan. Date: 4.1.2008 Author: Brian Hi, I need three fake newspapers. each with a different headline. Only one may need a photo in it. I can display the other two folded in half so only the headlines show. The text can be dummy text. I don't need multiple copies. What would you charge me for that? Brian REPLY: Our whole system is built around producing fake newspapers two at a time in the whole newspaper size. We really don't deviate from what we advertise and offer. Date: 3.28.2008 Author: Luis Anthony Ast I would like to use one of your giant checks for an education video I wish to create. It does not matter what business is actually listed on it, so I was thinking if I may use YOURS. This way, I would be advertising your fine product to other teachers who may want to get similar giant checks for their own use in class. Please contact me for more details. You can see the videos I have out already at: REPLY: You're welcome to order any check you like, personalized in any way you like. Thank you. Date: 3.27.2008 Author: Sasha Hey i just tried to order with my bank card and it got rejected for reason number 27 i am aware that its the billing address not matching so i called my bank and they assured me that they had the correct address on file. I tried again and it gave me the same reason so now i have 3 pending orders...and no mercandise to be shipped....will they clear.. eventually? If you guys could perhaps look into it... that would be great i believe the problem lies with the city and zip code... because 33146 FL should be referred to as Coral Gables however some people still put Miami... i myself changed it online through my banks website. If u could look into it and process only one of the orders i will greatly appreciate it Thanks!! REPLY: Regarding the charges on your card, we've answered that in minute detail right on this page. Just scroll up a few inches and read the big, red subject headers. The charges on your card after a decline are your bank's policy, not ours. Again, just read the answer we posted above, years ago. Re helping you with your address, there's really nothing we can do. It's not a matter of whether or not your address is correct according to the USPS; it's a matter of whether the address you provide to us MATCHES the address your card company has on file. Technically speaking, your bank (at least its computers) absolutely do not care what address you've given them. Let's say you went on to your bank's website and entered your address like this: Peewee Herman Hi-Ho Hi-Ho LollyPop Lane Pervertville, Alaska, 12345 Just like that. Exactly. And you give it 24 hours to get absorbed by your bank's network. Now let's say you come to our website and order something, and in the address field you supply the address above, exactly as you typed it into your bank's website. Your order with us will go through without a hitch, because the address you gave us, matches the address you gave to your bank. It doesn't matter (at all) that it's not your correct address. As long as it matches your bank, you're good to go. Of course we will ONLY ship to the address that matches your bank, so you'll need to make a deal with Peewee to have him sign for your order when it arrives. If he refuses the delivery, you've lost your order and you're out of luck. So you can see that the issue of whether you live in Miama or Timbuktu doesn't matter. The easiest way to cure the address problem is to go to your bank's website, enter whatever address you want, then give it 24 hours to propagate. THEN place your order and use whatever address you supplied to your bank. It will then painlessly go through. That's all there is to it. Your order will then be shipped to that, and only that, address, and your bank statements will be sent there by your bank, also. This is not complicated at all, though so many customers have issues with this and wring their hands for days or weeks trying to figure it out. We'll ship to any address (within the US) as long as it matches the address your bank has on file. It's no more mysterious or painful than that. Date: 3.27.2008 Author: hassanah saeed I would like to know if i order a magazine and issue the story, do you do all of the type setting REPLY: We are asked this exact question, word for word, absolutely verbatim, about once a year. We reply each time with the following: We do not understand the question. We manufacture and print fake magazines. That would naturally require and include that we do all the "typesetting". We don't understand why this is being asked. It's like ringing up a bakery and asking, "When you make a cake, do you mix all the batter?" Making the batter is a prerequisite to making the cake. So if one advertises that they make cakes, it naturally follows that they make all the batter. It's not a question that needs asking, and we are becoming more and more curious why this exact question is asked once per year. We will not reply to this question again. Date: 3.26.2008 Author: Duane Ullery According to the USPS click n ship email I received, you are going to ship my order to the billing address I supplied not the shipping address. The shipping adress is in Lake worth Florida and I did make the differentitation between the two in the order.Please send my articles to the Lake Worth address. Thanks! REPLY: We're sorry you did not READ what you agreed to during checkout. Here it is AGAIN: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank or credit card company has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn't match, your order will be automatically declined by the system. CRITICAL INFO: Unless you have an established commercial account with us we will NOT ship any order to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout. In cases where we have been accomodating and shipped to an alternate address the credit card companies have often declined payment and we have received no money for the sale. By clicking below you indicate that you understand this policy and agree with its terms. This order has been cancelled and you are blocked from ordering from us again. We simply do not have time for this. Please read the fiasco below. Date: 3.26.2008 Author: Shawanda Please take my address off of the posting. That is so unprofessional and inappropriate. According to your reply this order shouldn't have been sent out. The order had a different shipping address and was confirmed. I kept a copy of the print out if you need confirmation. I would just like a refund for the items purchased. REPLY: This will be our final reply to you. Let's take your issues one at a time. You are angry because you did not receive your product. You did not receive your product because you used an address that, for whatever reason, is invalid. Your credit card issuer would like to know why the billing address on your card is invalid. You were advised, in HUGE RED PRINT, right on the product page, that your order would NOT be sent to an alternate shipping address, but would ONLY be shipped to your registered billing address. Apparently you chose not to read that, although it's hard to imagine how that could have happened since the text is in HUGE RED PRINT, and is repeated TWICE! Further, you must scroll through all that huge red print to get to the order form. So how could anyone have possibly missed that huge red warning?! It's inconceivable to us. Yet miss it you did. You then proceeded through the payment process, and there, once again, you were presented with a similar warning, stating extremely clearly that your order would NOT be sent to any alternate shipping address you enter, but would ONLY be shipped to the registered billing address on the card. At this point you again had to scroll through that text before continuing with the order, and in this instance you actually had to click a button stating that you had read the warning, understood it, and agreed to abide by it. Yet now you are saying that you somehow mysteriously failed to read THAT warning too, even though you clicked to indicate you had read it and understood it. So what's the problem here, Shawanda? Are you telling us that you cannot read? If that's the case, then you should not be engaging in activities that REQUIRE that you read. Next: You are angry that your address appears in this forum. Why? All through this page you will find HUGE, bold, conspicuous warnings indicating that ALL communication with ALL customers is done publicly. To work with you on this problem we MUST show you what the records say. We've adopted this policy because the vast, vast majority of questions that come to us have already been answered. We can no longer afford the time to answer the same questions over and over and over and over a thousand times, so we post all customer inquiries -- and their answers -- in this public forum, so that other customers can READ the answers to the questions they are about to ask, thereby getting their answer instantly, and saving everyone a lot of time and headaches. Many online businesses are adopting this method of customer interaction. It works. But it apparently makes you angry. In point of fact, you agreed to this mode of communication when you chose to use it. But now you're angry. Again, we suggest that this is a problem brought on by your own steadfast refusal to READ. What, specifically, should you have read? THIS, for one: WARNING Messages Submitted through this form are NOT PRIVATE By using the service below you are agreeing to the terms of this page It is displayed, once again, in HUGE RED PRINT, just above this forum box. You claim that our mode of communication is "so unprofessional". We're sorry you feel that way -- no, actually, we're not. We find YOUR peculiar refusal to READ DIRECTIONS to be at the very root of this entire problem. Talk about unprofessionalism. Now, to address your order concerns. You state (pasted from above): "According to your reply this order shouldn't have been sent out. The order had a different shipping address and was confirmed. I kept a copy of the print out if you need confirmation. I would just like a refund for the items purchased." Exactly how have you come to THAT conclusion? Let's go over your order again. Here is your complete order, cut and pasted from the credit card processor's website. This is exactly what you received as your order confirmation email. Here is your order: (We actually have one attempted order and one completed order in our files. The attempted order, below, was declined by YOUR card issuer (not us), for Reason-2. That is usually an error indicating "Card Over Limit", but other reasons can fall under the Reason-2 decline). Here is that order: Payment Processor Error: This transaction has been declined. (Reason 2) Order No.: 49382575 Date: 03/05/2008 SHIP TO: Shawanda Henderson 3415 Valley Road, P.O. Box 825 Liberty Corner, NJ 07938 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com BILL TO: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 United States 9734620096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com Payment Method: Credit Card ORDER DETAILS: Item: Fake Pregnancy Test FT-2 Quantity: 2 Description: Fake Pregnancy Test Price (each): $22.95 Item Total: $45.90 _________________________________________ Subtotal: $45.90 Shipping (3-7 Day Average): +$6.95 Grand Total: $52.85 When that order was declined, you perhaps switched cards and placed the following order: SHIP TO: Shawanda Henderson 3415 Valley Road, P.O. Box 825 Liberty Corner, NJ 07938 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com BILL TO: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com Payment Method: Credit Card Credit Card Type: Visa Account Number: ************XXXX ORDER DETAILS: Item: Fake Pregnancy Test FT-2 Quantity: 2 Description: Fake Pregnancy Test Price (each): $