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Message Date: 11.18.2009 Author: amy on the sonagrams where is the fathers name put on them thanks REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Near the bottom, next to the "gender" box. Date: 11.17.2009 Author: denice thanks so much for giving me understanding of what will take place. I really want that order so I will wait until the refund is made and I will certainly be back to replace my order once again thank you so very much.. Date: 11.17.2009 Author: denice okay so does that mean that there is no need for me to use paypal or are you still gonna deduct more money out my account if I do? Because I really need it to be shipped to my mailing address. thank you for answering my questions REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: In going back through the database, it appears that you submitted two transactions using an address that didn't match your card-issuer's records. Those were automatically declined by the system, and we were never made aware of them. Your bank has reserved the funds for both of those attempts and will usually credit the funds back to you in a few days. You need do nothing about those. Then you placed an order using a valid address, and that one did go through. Those funds were sent to us. You then indicated that you wanted to cancel that order, so we cancelled the order on our board, and submitted a credit-request to put those funds back into your account. That will happen tonight after 11:30 pm Pacific time, as we indicated. It may take a day or two for you to see that credit on your online statement, depending on how fast your bank reacts to the credit. Your current questiuon is whether or not you'll be charged again if you place the order via Paypal. Yes. Your last order is already scheduled for a refund. The Paypal process is completely different from a straight credit card purchase. We have no way to apply the funds from one, to the other. All three previous transactions will be refunded to your account. Any new purchase will charge your card (or whatever method you use) a fourth time. In the end, you'll only be charged for that one, last purchase.. Date: 11.17.2009 Author: denice I just checked my account and yall charged it three times can you explain whats going on. i only should be paying about $74 please explain why this took place REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: You scrolled past the answer to get to this comment box. Date: 11.17.2009 Author: Denice I just placed an order with you and I dont think Im going to receive it because i gave you my billing address not my mailing address is there a way that i can go back and pay with a check instead of my visa debit card? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Just go through the Paypal option. We've marked your order for cancellation. A credit will be issued tonight after the data-dump at 11:30 pm Pacific. Date: 11.16.2009 Author: wendy m1 oh ok i understand that. and can i put the belly in different sizes like lets say 4-8 months?? or it just 1 big size? pleople wont notice it fake?? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: All of this is discussed and described on the product page. Thanks. Date: 11.16.2009 Author: wendy m1 ooh ook thank you so much.. last question... can i please choose the color of the belly? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, no, they used to come to us in a variety of colors, but for the past six months or so they have only been one color. We're trying to get the factory to mix the colors up, but so far they won't do it. Date: 11.16.2009 Author: wendy mercedes 1 Ok thanks. i just order it again. so i don't have to do nothing just wait till it comes or i have to go to usps.com ?? i actually don't have any tracking number just the order number. how can i get it ?? i would appreciate your help. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We did receive your order (thanks) and the address does match this time, so you're all set. You'll receive a tracking number shortly. The item will come to your house. If you're not there, they will leave a note. You can either then go to the post office and pick it up, or you can follow the directions on their note and have it re-delivered. You "should" have it by Friday, but it's possible it could take until next Monday or Tuesday (unlikely though). Date: 11.16.2009 Author: wendy mercedes i order a belly like 2 weeks ago and i havent resive it. i think it is because i forgot to got to usps.com so what can i do about it. please help. and i already have been charged. what can i do ??? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: When you placed this order, you used an address that doesn't match the address your card issuer has on file for that credit card. The order was cancelled and you were refunded within a few minutes on the same day. When that happens the system generates three (3) different emails that advise you of what has happened. It is always important to check your email after placing any order. If you decide to order again, the address you use MUST EXACTLY MATCH the address your card company has on file for that card. We cannot ship to any other address. Date: 11.12.2009 Author: T I've checked out all the different kinds of checks you make but, I'd like to know if you can make rubber checks that have a dry erase front? Or, if not, just blank rubber checks period. Thanks! REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We don't really have a way to apply a dry-erase coating or layer to anything that stretches. Flexibility wouldn't be a problem, but stretching would be out of the question. You can order the regular rubber checks and leave all the fields blank (type "NONE" in them). Or do you mean really, completely, totally blank? Just blank strips of check-sized rubber? We probably wouldn't be interested in selling just strips of rubber. Date: 11.11.2009 Author: shirley wray I have a series of articles approximately 30 pages that I would like put in a magazine cover that I am supplying the photo for. Can this be done by you? If you are still there please respond as you did this for me once before. thanks REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Replied by email... Date: 11.4.2009 Author: Jack Thank you very much for your intelligent and well-designed website. I have placed my order and can't wait to see the results! REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Flattery will get you almost anywhere. Honestly, we so often have to deal with the drunk and/or insane that a positive comment really does go straight to the heart and it makes our entire week a little bit nicer. Thank you. Date: 11.3.2009 Author: John i want to order a fake newspaper but i want the front page as it is but the inside page should have the info i send...is that possible? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we can do that. Please post your detailed request here IMMEDIATELY after placing the order. No extra charge. Date: 11.3.2009 Author: Joe Hi, In September I ordered and received a fake wanted poster for my son and daughter-in-law, depicting their son, my grandson, as the wanted "criminal. It was one of your Wild West wanted posters and it was absolutely perfect. I had the posters framed and we hung them in our respective homes. Ours is in our living room and my son/daughter-in-law have theirs in their kitchen. I don't believe we have ever enjoyed anything more than that poster, and I mean it sincerely. We have laughed and laughed and laughed. I would highly recommend your company to anyone who needs a good laugh in these tough times and a lasting memory. Great experience. As my grandson grows I am sure he will be "wanted" for many more "crimes." Someone has to protect the citizens from such bad people. You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you! Date: 11.3.2009 Author: Johanna Hello, I recently received my package in yesterday morning but to my knowledge the back have two transaction pending! I only confirmed one order and that was the one for $ 64.11 and I’m not sure if that was the right amount but if you can please review that for me I would appreciated it thanks very much. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We've done a search on your name and only one paid-for order comes up, which was delivered to you as you indicate. RE your line above which says, "but to my knowledge the back have two transaction pending!", we don't know what that means. If you submitted forms for other orders but didn't go through the payment process for them, they would not have been shipped out. Date: 11.2.2009 Author: Amber I'm needing to cancel an order how do I contact you to do that? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: As of 17:24 hrs. we have no pending orders. All orders have been shipped (hours ago). If you have placed an order, you have received your tracking number already. Date: 11.1.2009 Author: Jack I have 2 questions, first, can you open Publisher files and second, if I have it set as a card format (folded lengthwise to produce 2 sheets) can you print it that way for the newspaper? (As in one side is the front page, the other is the back page of the section) REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Please save your Pub file as a jpg at the highest resolution your computer will allow (it's a selection within the SAVE-AS dialogue box in Publisher). It sounds as though you're creating an entire sheet as opposed to just a small section to be pasted into an existing format. We actually have a whole page dedicated to that option. Please go to our home page here: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/ ....and click on Option #3 just a little way down that page. We'll paste in the actual url here but this comment box sometimes truncates links, so it may not work: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/newspapers/submit_custom_image.html Date: 11.1.2009 Author: Jack Thanks for your quick response, but my situation actually involves a bunch of approximately 2 sentence game summaries, I know this will probably be difficult given your explanation of the process - if I sent you a file with it set up would you be able to simply print it on newsprint for me? I'm trying to give her a season recap of every game. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Yes. Upload your file using a form, pay for the order, then drop another note here to let us know where you'd like it positioned. No extra charges apply. Thanks, Jack Date: 11.1.2009 Author: Jack I have a special request, and I'm just wondering if it is possible without a great amount of difficulty. I am currently in college, but my girlfriend is a Senior in high school and she plays volleyball. For the whole season, I have been collecting newspaper articles about her team from the online archives of the paper. Is it possible to have a newspaper printed with each of these very short clippings entered as a separate article, or does your template only allow one article per page? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We do this all the time. Submit a form for each story, then, after you've subbed the LAST story, click the big "CONTINUE" link to continue on to the cart system. This will ONLY work if you choose the "WHOLE" size. We can usually fit three stories on the front (headline) page, and up to four stories on the back page. We charge $10 per ADDITIONAL story to set any stories after the first. That will be manually added as a second charge (there's no option for it in the shopping cart, so we have to add it later). The FIRST story you submit will be placed in the default location on the headline page. All others will be placed wherever they fit best on the front and back pages. Let us know if anything's unclear. Thanks. Date: 10.26.2009 Author: felisha do you have a winning lottery check, or can you fabricate one that sayes a lottery..some thing like the GEorgia lottery or even some fictutious name like midsouth lottery, ect. not sure on the legality of using a known state lottery name, but as it is a joke, i dont understand why it would be an issue. thanks ! REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We actually do receive orders from a number of state lotto commisions for winner checks. They upload their own images. That would be the best way to do it. Here's the url for that: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-1_giant_checks.html . . Date: 10.26.2009 Author: Antonio Re: There's a tiny stamp either on the front or the back, near the edge, which says (for entertainment purposes only). Is there any way to get this removed since i want it to look as real as possible even if it costs more REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We're still in business after 12 years because we religiously follow the advice of our attorney. Sorry, no exceptions, ever, under any circumstances, for any price. Date: 10.26.2009 Author: Antonio Hi i was reading about to obtain a fake marriage license and it stated that these documents were only to be used as a joke. But it also stated "Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped". what do u mean it is so stamped. Do u stamp in the back saying this is fake.Or does it really look 100% real REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: There's a tiny stamp either on the front or the back, near the edge, which says (for entertainment purposes only). Date: 10.25.2009 Author: felisha what is cost of the following items. we want a fake lottery check made out to felisha daugherty ( 4.2 mil, or something beliveable, then we want an acompanying article, to include a pic of me, and my boyfriend in strret clothes, and a pic of us dressed up with the check( as if at a lottery presentation) to be used in the paper article. we need you to provide us with a lottery "giant" check so we can take the pics on our end, and email you the photos back for the paper article. we only need one copy of the article to use one time. please advise the cost. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: This would be a straightforward order. Just order the check, and when you receive it, take the pictures. Then submit them using the form when you order the newspapers. The cost depends on the size you choose for the chek and the size for the newspaper. The prices for those options are shown on the product pages. Thanks. Date: 10.24.2009 Author: Heidi It's no problem but I just want to make sure that the correct information is added. It wad supposed to be my name which I'm sure is on file.thanks Date: 10.24.2009 Author: Heidi Hello. I recently placed an order with you. I am happy with the product except for some of the information isn't correct. It has someone else's name and the wrong doctors name the rest of the information is correct. How do I go about getting this corrected? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Well, that's completely whacked. We had a flood here and several orders got screwed up. We're sorry yours was one of them. We'll re-do the order NOW and ship it out immediately. We're sorry you were put to this trouble. Date: 10.24.2009 Author: Vicky Received my order today and I love it. Thank you. But the question I have is why did you place 'Do not deliver on Saturday' on the package? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We didn't place that on there -- the Post Office does it automatically. They now charge an additional $12.75 to deliver on Saturdays. It costs $12.75 to have that removed. Nice, huh? Date: 10.21.2009 Author: Vicky Good evening. I placed my order and you told me to let you know when I placed my order - reminding you of free overnight shipping. Thus, I am reminding you. I look forward to getting my order. Hopefully it will be correct this time and I won't get an ultrasound in the mail with my teenage daughter sitting beside me giving me a heart attack! Laugh! Also, is it possible for you to check the 'upon delivery do not sign' box with your shipping agent? Thanks and have a great night. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Got it. It's being hand-carried through the system at this moment. Thank you. Nothing we can do about the signature requirement, unfortunately. If we don't get a delivery signature, our credit card processor can, and often used to, refuse to forward your loot along to us. Next to fraudster customers, the credit card companies are our worst nightmare. In fact, maybe it's a toss-up. Date: 10.16.2009 Author: Rowester Do you have UA drug tests that say you are negative for drugs & alcahol? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Yes! Just go to the following link and customize a test to say anything you want: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/fake_medical_tests/fake_medical_tests.html Date: 10.15.2009 Author: Vicky Once again, I appreciate your response! AND you are quite sick and twisted with the nasty little rusty razor blades, the salt and alcohol on the open wounds! I LOVE IT! Great attitude! (and marketing!) Have a great evening! Date: 10.15.2009 Author: Vicky I truly appreciate your fast reply and yes, I will reorder next week with different dates on the newspaper. What will be the process for the shipping or will you watch for my name? Oh, and I simply LOVE the comment about the flogging! Who do I get to flog? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: You may flog all of us. Please affix those nasty little rusty razor blades to the ends of the leather thongs. Those really hurt, and often cause infections, and we certainly deserve that. We're told that a little salt or alcohol applied right after the beating makes it all the more meaningful. Truthfully, heads absolutely roll when something like this happens. We tend not to cut folks a lot of slack sometimes when they make mistakes, and the same applies to us. When we screw up, we deserve whatever we get. You've been far too easy on us. When you re-order, please drop us a note right here to remind us of our promise of free overnight shipping. Thanks for not killing us, though you would have been justified, especially on a time-sensitive order. Man we hate it when we make a mistake. Date: 10.15.2009 Author: Vicky I am right after Rebecca - with whom I feel I received her order and she received mine. Not sure what to do as there is no phone number for customer service. And yes, the timing for this is now very much off. Perhaps someone will call me and we can sort this out. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We were hoping to hear from Rebecca so that we could identify the other victim here (you) sooner. But since we now know who you are, we're refunding for your stupidly misrouted order. This is the first time in 12 years we've made this particular mistake, but of course that doesn't help you at all and we apologize profusely and profoundly. When this happens to us on things we order, we take no prisoners, and we appreciate your being nice about it. We deserve no less than a public flogging. Maybe dismemberment too. This will show as a credit on your account after 11:30 this evening (it may not show on your end for a day or two). If you care to re-order, please do so and we will not only refund your shipping cost, but will send it out via overnight at our expense. We really hate making mistakes. We did, and we're eating it. Again, we apologize. Date: 10.15.2009 Author: Rebecca I recieved my order today, but I think you mixed mine up with someone else's order. I recieved 2 newspapers. Can you just cancel this order? The timing for this joke is going to be way off now. Thanks. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: We had a flood here and were forced to change the way we staged orders for processing. It seems that resulted in this error (still our fault!). We're showing two ultrasound orders from you, one on 10-7, and one on 10-12. Please indicate which order you're referring to, and please tell us the headline of the newspaper. Sorry for the confusion -- we'll get it sorted out as soon as you reply. UPDATE: We'd like to resolve this as quickly as we can for you. Please reply (second request, also sent via direct email): We're showing two ultrasound orders from you, one on 10-7, and one on 10-12. Please indicate which order you're referring to, and please tell us the headline of the newspaper. Sorry for the confusion -- we'll get it sorted out as soon as you reply. UPDATE: the order im referring to was the order on 10/12 with rush delivery. I also had changed my order to the picture paper because after seeing my first order on the big sheet...it didnt look to real. The headline of the newspaper is The Green Bay Sun and there are 2 of them. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Got it. We had a flood here which caused some confusion, but it was still our fault and we apologize profusely. Even though you’ll be completely refunded, you were put to a lot of trouble and that’s unacceptable. We’ve identified the other victim and offered to ship her next order via overnight, for free. She has taken us up on that, and we hope you do too. If you place another order, just drop us a note to remind us of our offer, and we’ll take care of it instantly. In the meantime, you loot is being refunded and you should see a credit on your account in the next day or two. This was sucky “service” and we really, truly hate it when we screw up. Date: 10.12.2009 Author: Alice Murray My marketing firm is producing a crossword puzzle for a client and wants to get a screen shot proof of the puzzle before it is shipped. How can we accomplish this? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: It's a bit problematic because in order to produce a screen-shot, we must do all the work of creating the puzzle first. Is there a specific look your client has in mind? The pictures on the product page reflect our earliest puzzles. They were "plain-jane" in design. We very early started being creative with each puzzle, and since then, every puzzle has been a unique creation. -An example is below. We can certainly create one that is plain-jane, or we can be left to our own devices to create something unique. Crosswords are one of our most enjoyable products, so we would propose this: Place the order, then drop us a note here to remind us that you want a proof. If you have a broad preference for color schemes, please so indicate. We'll work up a puzzle and email you a proof for approval. If you've indicated you want a plain-jane puzzle (grey blocks), we'll send that as a proof, though it will make blood run from our eyes like tears. At that stage, changes aren't too much trouble. Please don't order via "RUSH" on a project that requires proofs. Note that we are unable to exactly recreate the pattern shown below -- we save the final product, not the steps used to create the final product. Every puzzle is one-of-a-kind. Thanks. Date: 10.9.2009 Author: Jeselis Can payments be made with one of those prepaid credit/checking account cards? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Those usually do go through the system without any problems. It depends on the card. You can't hurt anything by trying. Date: 10.8.2009 Author: amy how far along is the blk/white sonogram that is plain number 1 and 2 cause on the blk and white ones i didnt see how far along those were thanks REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: At the time we designed those we didn't realize that anyone would care about the stage. We just created them out of the aether with an airbrush. It seems they would both be considered fairly well along. We're happy to print any of the others in black if you prefer. Just place the order normally and then send us a note like this to let us know. Thanks. Date: 10.1.2009 Author: Jeselis I understand what your saying, I'm going to put the correct billing address but i just need the order to be shipped to a different address.. which means i want to put two different addresses the billing one and the shipping one. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, you're not understanding. We must provide proof to our credit card processor that we shipped to the address they have on file for you, and no other. We will not ship to any other address unless you pay by eCheck. You'll find that fewer and fewer etailers will. Date: 10.1.2009 Author: Jeselis Hi I'm thinking about ordering but my question is, what if the shipping address needs to be different from the billing address? it does that give us that option. Are we allowed to do that or no? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: There should not be an option to make shipping addresses different from billing addresses. We'll check the system in a moment to be sure the shopping cart people haven't changed something that we're not aware of. The only way to ship to an alternate address is to use the Paypal option and choose "eCheck". Once your eCheck clears we'll ship to any address. Otherwise, the order will be cancelled. Sorry, but if we ship to any address other than the registered address, the miserable credit card companies can refuse to pay us. We lost $58 just yesterday because we stupidly tried to be nice and ship to an unverified address that we thought was ok. Date: 9.28.2009 Author: Joe Hi, Received my fake wanted poster today. Very, very fast shipping. Thanks. The poster is very well done and everything I could have wanted. I'm having all three framed, two being gifts and one for my wife and me. We will be enjoying them for many years to come. Great idea, great job! Thank you again. Joe Hinton PS I would like to point out something which you may want to take a look at. No big deal, just something I noticed. I purchased the Old West wanted poster. The dimensions, according to your website, are 13.5 x 21 inches each. I measured them at 13.5 x 19 inches each. Not a biggie. You seem very interested in accuracy, so I thought you might want to check this out. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you. It makes us feel GREAT when our products are liked. If we won the lotto we'd continue doing exactly what we're doing, but for free, so our main motivation here is to create things that people can enjoy and have fun with, and that makes us happy. Re the poster dimensions, we suspect that the template got modified at some point over the years but the new dims weren't updated on the product pages. They've been corrected now. Re framing, please understand that these are printed on cheap media, designed for a few laughs at a party, then to be tossed. We don't know how well these would hold up over time, exposed to light for months or years. We can print on museum stocks using archive inks, but that would be a special order and the cost would be higher. We don't offer that as an option because they're used like gift-wrap-- fleetingly, then discarded. No one has ever suggested framing them, or even keeping them, before. Date: 9.25.2009 Author: deb Thank you for your quick response it is appreciated. I am located in Aberdeen MD and my internet carrier is verizon, but I honestly have no idea how it all works. Thank you again for your time REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Date: 9.25.2009 Author: deb I have not ordered anything from you, but someone I know may have. Unfortunatley my question is there a way to tell a fake sonogram picture from a real one. The picture is not being used as a joke and I am just inquiring if in producing these there is some indication it is not authentic. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, there is a way to tell. The documents must be physically altered to look real. A quick check shows no orders going to any US town named "Aberdeen" in the last year -- only to Aberdeen Scotland. Curiously, we show that you're emailing from Washington DC. Date: 9.25.2009 Author: TLS I want to say how pleased we are with the results of the newspaper we ordered. We followed the instructions and had no problems what so ever. The fake newspaper arrived within one week of ordering it (USPS took the longest time to get it to us.) The individual will love it when we present it to her for her retirement. GREAT JOB, I will definately use you again in the future. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: You cannot begin to imagine how much it warms our hearts to receive your comments. We've suffered a rash of bizarre customers lately, and our mood was becoming dark. You've brightened it by a huge amount and we appreciate it greatly. The time you took to write this was NOT wasted and we thank you. Date: 9.25.2009 Author: Booklover Before I submit my order for a giant crossword puzzle - I want to be clear on the punctuation of clues: I realize you say no commas after the dividing one - but are the following forms of punctuation acceptable: Emerson,"shot heard round the world" nose,_____to the grindstone Douglas,Lincoln ________ debate Thanks - your site is a delight in irony and sarcasm. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, our "irony and sarcasm" has turned more to "irritability and pissed-off-ed-ness". Some customers drive us absolutely to the brink of homicide. Some customers drive us to the brink of hermit-dom. On the one hand we might be tempted to feel badly about our waning patience, but on the other hand, we might also feel badly that we didn't just go ahead and CHOKE THE LIFE out of some of these staggeringly obnoxious, belligerent, stupid humans. To answer your question: We "prefer" (if we had a choice and it was a perfect world) to not have ANY punctuation besides the dividing comma in the clues. Usually there's no problem, but we have seen odd glitches occasionally when the database engine couldn't process some stray and errant character. When we receive your clue list we first convert it to pure ASCII to try and eliminate the probs. Usually that works, but not always. If the characters are important to you, please go ahead and use them and we'll do our best to deal with any irregularities. Sometimes, if a character seems to be causing grief in rendering the clue list to a puzzle, we'll strip it out and replace it with another character. Again, we only see problems in about ten percent of cases. We have seen no probs with the use of a semi-colon ( ; ), if those will suit your needs. Thanks.... Date: 9.24.2009 Author: J Date: 9.24.2009 IP: 76.23.70.11 Author: J Name (normally hidden): J Phone (normally hidden): 574-773-4111 City or Town (normally hidden): Nappanee beachlover40@hotmail.com Despite your "warnings" to dissuade individuals from using your products fraudulently, please help me to understand how this keeps individuals from using "fake" ultrasounds (by the way, whose baby is in the picture anyway?) to convince people that they are pregnant when they are not... but NOT as a practical joke? Do you realize that your site and others like it contribute to serious psychological disorders? Are you aware of a condition called pseudocyesis? If combined with sociopathic tendencies, you have a volatile mix of psychological confusion and the ability to convince others of a pregnancy that didn't ever exist. Our family has been "duped," but were led to believe that the "baby" in an ultrasound was going to be a part of our family. The individual who was "pregnant" - and thanks to you was able to convince us that she was pregnant as well - also "miscarried" (surprised you don't also issue "fake" death certificates). Our family grieved the loss of a baby that didn't even exist, except in your sick fake "ultrasounds" (whose baby's picture is it again?). Companies like yours, insensitive to the realities of individuals with sociopathic/psychopathic behaviors, shouldn't be allowed to exist. I am repulsed and appalled... as I'm sure are others. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: And we are repulsed and appalled at the arrogance you show in deigning to police and censor the world. Get a life. Then seek psychological help. Our gags are used by, and are INTENDED to be used by RATIONAL ADULTS, and thousands of people around the world have enjoyed the humor of our products WHEN USED RESPONSIBLY. We're sorry your (daughter, was it?) was not raised to be a logical, honorable adult. Does that, mayhaps, reflect directly on shoddy parenting skills? We are CONSTANTLY amazed at how often peoples' mistakes are deemed to be someone else's (anyone else's) mistakes. If your daughter had walked into a touristy store and purchased a pretty polished rock, then walked outside and thrown it through a window, we have ZERO doubt you'd twist your brains into such disgusting contortions as to rationalize that the fault lay with the vendor. We find your illogic downright frightening. FYI: Ourultrasounds are stamped "For Entertainment Purposes Only" as shown on the product page. The only way to remove the stamp is to physically cut it off the ultrasound plate. (Note: The IP of this individual traces back to an address in the Chicago area; both email and phone are bogus (surprise). We've only sent one order to this specific neighborhood, so we have the harasser in our records. If need be we'll subpopena Comcast for the account-owner's data and post it all publicly here). A subpoena will cost us $219. We obtain two or three per year. We'll offer a standing reward of $100 for the name and address of the sender. You must provide irrefutable proof. Your data will be posted publicly here. OrgName: Comcast Cable Communications, Inc. OrgID: CMCS Address: 1800 Bishops Gate Blvd City: Mt Laurel StateProv: NJ PostalCode: 08054 Country: US NetRange: 76.16.0.0 - 76.31.255.255 CIDR: 76.16.0.0/12 NetName: WESTERN-1 NetHandle: NET-76-16-0-0-1 Parent: NET-76-0-0-0-0 NetType: Direct Allocation NameServer: DNS101.COMCAST.NET NameServer: DNS102.COMCAST.NET NameServer: DNS103.COMCAST.NET Comment: RegDate: 2006-06-28 Updated: 2008-10-31 OrgAbuseHandle: NAPO-ARIN OrgAbuseName: Network Abuse and Policy Observance OrgAbusePhone: +1-856-317-7272 OrgAbuseEmail: abuse@comcast.net OrgTechHandle: IC161-ARIN OrgTechName: Comcast Cable Communications Inc OrgTechPhone: +1-856-317-7200 OrgTechEmail: CNIPEO-Ip-registration@cable.comca UPDATE, 10-13-09: We've continued to receive foul, nearly threatening messages from IP addresses that trace back to this exact same area. Clearly it's the same misguided folks with nothing better to do. If we receive another couple of these, we'll have enough documentation to obtain a subpoena. We've done it before; we can do it again. It makes one wonder, though, just where these bottom-feeders come from. Do they not have jobs? Do they actually believe that anyone cares what their opinions are? Do they actually believe that people will tolerate this adolescent crap without finally getting peeved and putting them in jail? Ah, the unwashed masses. ALWAYS entertaining. Date: 9.24.2009 Author: Ann Good Morning, My corrected item was received and I'm happy with it and your service! Thank You again, Ann REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks, but we really don't deserve kind words when we mess up an order, and we did mess up your order. We're sorry you were put to the inconvenience of having to ask us to straighten it out. Date: 9.24.2009 Author: Martha Gutierrez Date: 9.24.2009 IP: 97.67.252.106 Author: Martha Gutierrez Email: marthalcps@gmail.com Name (normally hidden): Martha Gutierrez Phone (normally hidden): 786-351-0456 City or Town (normally hidden): Miami, Fl I made an order last week on wed 9/16/2009.... I HAVE YET NOT RECEIVED ANYTHING!!!!!!!!! is there any possible way that i could get my money back?????? REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: In this communication you have neglected to include your order number. After an exhaustive search we find the following: You have submitted ZERO orders to us using this name (first or last), telephone number or email address. You have submitted ZERO forms to us using this name (first or last), telephone number or email address. You have submitted ZERO emails to us using this name (first or last), telephone number or email address. Neither your name (first or last), email address nor phone number shows up in any database. If (IF!) your credit card was actually (ACTUALLY) charged by someone, we suggest you call your bank or card issuer and have them dispute the charge. We have not charged any card for any amount at any time associated with your name, email address, or telephone number. A little too much CRACK, perhaps? Please don't order from us in the future. Date: 9.21.2009 Author: Jennifer Okay, first let me say, you guys have me just about terrified to ask any questions! I've read through the short FAQ's and the long FAQ's, and I'm scared to begin filling out a form, for fear I'll make a mistake or place an order before I know what I'm doing. So...with much trepidation...I'm going to ask questions. Here's the situation I'm trying to figure out. I'm staging a play that takes place in London, 1872. We need about nine period newspapers made up. These would all be whole size. We do NOT need an article placed within them. We do need specific headlines and specific newspaper names. For the rest, it could be gibberish. We do want the layout and typography to appear appropriate to the period but we do not want aged paper stock (since the newspapers are contemporary within the play.) We do not need photo images or color. And we only need a single version of each paper. Is this doable? Is the cost still $39.95 per order even if we only need one of each? How long would the turnaround be? Thanks (and please don't hurt me!) REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry you're terrified. You shouldn't be. Because you're on......SCARE TACTICS! Actually, we WANT certain types of people to be terrified. We figure maybe then they'll actually READ the answers to their questions on this page before they rant and rave and insult us. Your questions, however, while being COMPLETELY STUPID --- Er.....no! Wait! Your questions are perfect. They're EXACTLY what should be asked, and we're sorry our FAQs didn't address these issues and you've been put to the trouble of having to ask. We LOVE logical and polite customers. We LOATHE morons. Your questions are at the extreme LOGICAL and POLITE end of the scale, so please relax. Due to the sheer and gargantuan volume of STUPID QUESTIONS that get asked over and over and over and over, we have no choice but to come off a little scary. Most online businesses have learned or will learn, as their volume of business increases, that they must make it just a tiny bit difficult to contact them, otherwise they're inundated all freaking day with questions like "Can I write my own story in one of your newspapers?", or, "What time is it there?". End rant. So. You need nine DIFFERENT papers, correct? By default we would print anything older than 1980 in black and white (grayscale, no color). We do already have one template for your era, but we do not have nine different templates for that era and creating them would break your budget. I guess we need you to confirm that you need nine completely different layouts, first of all, then we can move foward with some kind of quote. And do you need the filler sheets that normally come with these (they are NOT era-specific)? Thanks. CUSTOMER: > Message: > Whew! Thank God you're less scarey to deal with than I'd > feared! Actually, as I'm combing through the script, it appears I > need more than 8 papers total, but not all of them are different. > Here's the breakdown (all years are 1872): 1 copy London "Daily > Telegraph" Oct. 2nd - specific headline 4 copies London "Times" > Oct. 2nd - specific headline. Possibly one specific article heading > (article itself could be gibberish). * 1 "Times" Oct. 4 - > specific headline * 1 "Morning Chronicle" Oct 6 - specific > headline * 1 "Daily Telegraph" Oct. 7 - specific headline > * 1 "Morning Chronicle" Oct. 9 - specific headline 2 copies same > London "Times" Dec. 21 - same headline I've tried to indent or > asterisk those four newspapers in the middle (the Oct. 4-9 dates) - > it's possible that making up those four separate titles would break my > bank (which is puny) and yours. I can resolve that issue with a > pretty simple change of blocking in a scene. So let's consider them > "gravy." The first Daily Telegraph, though, (Oct. 2); the four > copies of the same Times (Oct. 2); and the two copies of the Times > (Dec. 21) are all essential. All having specific headlines that are > germaine to what's going on in those scenes. In addition, the four > Oct. 2 Times might need one specific article heading (this is a small, > in-the-round theater. Audiences in the first couple of rows can > probably make out an article's title, but not the article > itself.) Can you give me prices for the "essentials" with a > separate price for the "gravy"? Thank you. REPLY: > Jennifer, > > Here's how our business works: > > We charge forty bucks for two copies of the "whole" size. About $25 of > that is eaten up in employee wages, paper, ink, printer rebuilds, and > all the ten thousand little expenses that every business never thought > of, but must pay. That leaves $15. Maybe. Printing the second copy of > two costs relatively little -- it's mostly just changing the quantity > from "1", to "2". That's where we make a little profit. If we make one > copy of each newspaper for you and charge you $20 per copy (half the > regular price), we will actually lose money on your order. If we > charge you $25 for each copy, and must reprint even one copy due to a > computer or printer glitch, we still won't break even. We've set up > the two-copies policy because that's what works. If we were to sell > single copies, we'd have to charge $30 each. Granted, you have several > copies that can be printed without much change. That helps. But not a > great deal. > > In this case we're willing to print as many unique copies as you want > for $25 each. If you don't want the filler sheets, make it $20 each. > To order, we will have you fill out a new form for each and every > paper. Once you've submitted a form, just click BACK and submit the > next one. Please do not submit any extra forms -- submit only one form > for each and every paper. On the last submission, instead of clicking > "BACK", click "CONTINUE" as prompted. That will take you into the > shopping cart and checkout systems. You'll need to calculate the > number of papers you finally end up with. Let's say you want 8 papers > in the end, at $20 each. That's $160. Choose any option in the > shopping cart that will charge $160 or more to your card. Then finish > going through checkout, choosing your shipping method, etc. Whatever > amount you overpaid by, we'll simply refund those few bucks at the end > of the day when our credit card processor does its daily data dump. > Initially you'll be overcharged a few bucks, but you'll have it back > the following day. Seems clunky, but it's the easiest way to handle a > non-standard order. > > Once you submit the order, please check your email at least a few > times per day in case we have questions. We probably won't, but if we > do it's really frustrating to have a job half finished and then not be > able to contact the customer. Fully 80% of all customers can't be > contacted. > > Any other questions, please just reply to this email, rather than > struggling with our public forum. > > Remember, if you want gibberish in the story area, you must supply the > gibberish. Same with photos. We will not find or supply photos; the > customer must supply ALL content. > > Thanks, CUSTOMER: You are being incredibly reasonable. I am still interested in doing this, but I'm hung up by some other details at this end. Once I get through tonight's rehearsal, I may be able to eliminate those four different newspapers in the middle. A few more questions to ask, though: -- Your email below says I would need to make up a separate order "for each and every paper". I'm interpreting that to mean each unique paper, correct? For the four copies of the same London Times, wouldn't I only fill out an order form once, indicating four copies? -- I understand the newspapers are only "period" on the four sides of a single large sheets. If I order with inside filler pages, those would be in contemporary style, correct? Is this a drastic difference that an audience member, sitting eight feet away, would immediately recognize? (For instance, does the actor turn a period-looking front page and, inside, we immediately see full-color large-scale ads for cars and cellphones?) If so, then I'm sure I'll order without filler pages and try to mock something up from old Wall Street Journals or whatever. -- As to supplying gibberish content for the paper: I can do that easily enough - Illustrator supplies a newspaper template that starts out with all the columns filled in with gibberish. I have not advanced very far in working through your form. Is it going to tell me how much gibberish to supply? Is it a matter of word-count or column inches? Thanks for all your help in this matter. REPLY: Correct -- no form needed for identical copies. Just be sure to make it clear to us which form is to be printed in multiples, and how many. The inside pages are printed in black and white (grayscale). But they would not stand up to scrutiny, even from 30 feet away. They're just to bulk up the newspaper a little. They're printed about once a year in mass quantities and are modern era. Yes, the form will limit you by character count for the "whole" size. You can cut and paste any news article from the internet. This is common. CUSTOMER: Well...best laid plans. I've reduced the number of individual papers needed, and tried to fill out the form this morning following your instructions below. I filled out three forms, hitting BACK after the first three (I needed one copy of the first form, and four copies of the second so I did that one twice, thinking it would be two papers per order.) However, after I completed the fourth form (third separate paper) and continued on to checkout, I got a message reading "Your cart is empty." That seemed weird, since I'd certainly submitted the form. I even got an email confirming it. So now I'm stumped - I need to know how to make payment on these. Also, I was a little distressed that, when I submitted the form, it was reprinted without any paragraph breaks. I had used the RETURN key as I entered the text to indicate new paragraphs. Is this something that will be corrected in printing, or is the text going to come out as one long solid block? Nor did I see find any place where I could indicate that I wanted this done in your "Old Style" newspaper layout, although NOT with aged newsprint. Perhaps that option would have appeared, though, if my cart had not mysteriously emptied. For the record, I need a total of 7 newspapers, broken down as follows: --1 copy of the first form - London Daily Telegraph, Oct. 2, 1872. Headline: Great Indian Peninsula Railway At Last Complete --4 copies of the second form (which was actually submitted twice) - London Daily Telegraph, Oct. 2, 1872. (It's meant to be the evening edition, which is why the date is the same as the proceeding.) Headline: Bank Robber Still At Large --2 copies of the fourth form - London Daily Telegraph, Dec. 21, 1872. Headline: Scotland Yard Nabs Bank Robber. Can you advise me on how to issue the payment now? Since we're no longer trying to get so many individual papers made up, I think we're good to go the regular full price, despite your very generous offer of $20 per unit w/o filler pages. That would mean $39.95 for the each of the three papers. What I don't know is what the additional charge would be for the two extra papers of the second set - is it half again as much? More than that. In any case, we're looking at upwards of $120 for the three sets of papers. I just need to know how to calculate the additional amount and how to make payment when the cart contents are showing as empty. I planned to use a Visa card but I don't like sending that number through an email. If it helps at all (and it probably does not) I could also issue payment thru PayPal. Sorry for the hassle - the form just stymied me. Jennifer REPLY: It appears that you’re trying to “out-think” the process. Mostly, it’s best to just follow the directions we provided. Merely submitting a form doesn’t put it in the shopping cart. Virtually all customers write and edit and rewrite their story submissions several times – even 5 or 8 times. You wouldn’t want each rewrite to be logged as a purchase in the shopping cart. Just make your submissions, then click CONTINUE as instructed, and CONTINUE on into the shopping cart, where you are prompted to choose your quantity. You say you need to know how to make payment on these. Again: Please follow the instructions. Here they are again: After submitting your last form, click the huge link which says CONTINUE. That will take you through to the shopping cart area where you pay. Since you submitted all of your forms but did not click CONTINUE for some reason, you must now submit another form in order to get to the page that prompts you to CONTINUE. You may type gibberish into the form. It’s only purpose now is to get you to the page you were at when you submitted your final form. You say that you’re “distressed” that your paragraph breaks don’t appear after you’ve submitted your forms. But in fact they DO appear. We’ve just double-checked them. All is well. You say you don’t see any place where you could select “Old Style” for the template, yet we have explained to you that the era-specific template is automatically chosen for you on this end, depending on the date of the newspaper. Now you state that you didn’t see any option to select or deselect “Aged Newsprint”. That’s because you didn’t follow the instructions and click CONTINUE to go through to the shopping cart. The option of “aged newsprint” is placed in the shopping cart, because it affects the price. At the end of this email, you state that you don’t know how to make payment, yet in our original instruction to you we gave you clear directions regarding how to do that. We’re sorry but at this point we’re cancelling the order. We have bent over backwards for you to give you an absurdly low price, which afforded us virtually no profit. We did this merely to try to be “nice”. We have drawn up clear and detailed instructions regarding how to place the order. Unfortunately you refuse to follow any step of those instructions. We can no longer afford the time to repeat the same instructions. If you care to order again, please follow the regular steps as all other customers do. You will receive two copies of each paper, as all other customers do. You will pay full price. Thank you. FINAL REPLY FROM FAKENEWSPAPERS.COM We've received your second order. You submitted four (4) different stories but paid for 3). This order is herewith cancelled. We're unwilling to invest any more time in this. You've been blocked from ordering again. REFUND EXPLANATION COMMENT: After many unnecessary questions and problems, customer submitted 4 forms but paid for 3. We simply ran out of patience. Date: 9.18.2009 Author: Ann OMG Thank you for the fast response!! I will do business again. And to all who doubt this company’s pregnancy papers DON'T! They look good! Well except for that "for entertainment purposes only" thingy. just crop it out and it's all good! Date: 9.18.2009 Author: Ann Good afternoon, I received my order quickly and it looks professional and legit. However, there is an error. Instead of typing the date I submitted 09/01/08 for 'date reported' 09/01/09 was typed instead. Please don't beat down or fire the person who made the mistake because times are hard and jobs are even harder to find. Please just have them fix it and pleaaaaase let me know how soon it will be fixed or replaced. Kind Regards. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: AAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!! We do see what happened here. OUR FAULT! Kill us all, Please! We deserve no less. When this happens to US on orders WE place, we go ballistic, so you had every right to -- yet you are so incredibly gracious that you didn't even carve our livers. We're printing a corrected set AT THIS MOMENT and it will go out immediately. The employee who did this is ALREADY being waterboarded and it ain't pretty.. Date: 9.17.2009 Author: Erin Well yall just need to cancel my order all together. That is what my bank said to tell you!!!!!!! REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: (This reply is in addition to our first reply to you, displayed a couple of blocks below this). Well, let's see here, Erin. You tried to place the following order for a "Fake Ultrasound": Order No.: 89473725 Date: 09/15/2009 Payment Processor Error: This transaction has been declined. (Reason 65) Customer's First Name Ericca Customer's Last Name Ramirez Email: ebr061391@yahoo.com Patient's Name (last, first) Ramirez,Ericca Media Types Standard Heavy Glossy Plate Doctor's Name on Ultrasound Douglas Hospital (Clinic) Name Dallas Pregnancy Resourse Center Date of Ultrasound August 27,2009 Ultrasound Version Weeks 9 thru 12 [First Trimester] Gender / Comment Unknown Unfortunately, the transaction didn't go through because the card you tried to use produced a "REASON 65" error code. Do you know what a "REASON 65" error code means, Erin? No, you don't, because you refuse to READ our explanations and answers to your questions. In any case, when your card is REJECTED by your bank, nothing is debited from your card by us. Unfortunately, YOUR BANK likes to pull this nasty little trick of "reserving" those funds. Why? It's anyone's guess. The transaction was declined, so why would any bank want to reserve those same funds? It's because they get to USE those funds, interest-free, for whatever period they choose (usually 3-10 days). Take that small sum, times a few million, and the money they make off the use of those funds begins to add up. It's a sleazy trick. Most banks do it. If you don't like it, TELL YOUR BANK! Now, you say you'd like to cancel your order. Just what order would that be, Erin? You didn't PLACE any order because your credit card was DECLINED! In fact, even when your card was declined, you continued to hammer away at the shopping cart, attempting to place it over and over and over (four times). But of course your card was rejected each and every time, so no order was ever placed. So exactly what order would you like us to cancel?! You must PLACE an order before you can CANCEL an order. It ain't rocket science. We're sorry, but we're unwilling to deal with customers as problematic as you. You are herewith blocked from ordering from us, ever. Not even ten years from now. Go. Away. Date: 9.17.2009 Author: Tami Dang...after reading all the "could have gone wrongs", I sure am glad all went well. Thank you for a perfect order, on the correct paper, with the correct picture, on time - so also thank you to USPS, credit card went through okay, only one charge to it, and I couldn't be happier. I will definitely use you guys again. You have made what will be a special occasion even better (funnier). Tami REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you. 99.99% of all orders do go through perfectly smoothly. But there will always be that 1%, placed by people who should be prevented by law from attempting ANYTHING as complicated as online ordering, that have glitches. In virtually every such case the problem is due to people's aversion to READING INSTRUCTIONS. Thanks again.

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