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Date: 2.3.2012 Author: Chris Poche Reply: If we have the font you want, no problem! Do I have a choice on the type of font used for the Newspaper name? |
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Date: 2.3.2012 Author: Tula Reply: You paid for a quantity two ultrasound, but we have only one form submission from you. Hi there I placed one order for two products last night. But I only see product details for one of the orders placed. |
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Date: 2.1.2012 Author: abc Reply: Standard is 3 - 5 days. Rush, it ships tomorrow and its overnighted! I was wondering how long shipping took if I ordered today? |
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Date: 1.31.2012 Author: Emily Reply: We can only replace an order so many times. We are sorry we cannot make you happy with our product. This is why we do not advertise custom orders. We have refunded your money. Thank you. I got the ultrasound that was reshipped && everything was perfect except 2errors .. so i couldnt complete the prank  if i list everything i asked for like before can this be fixed??? Because the work was great btw but isnt 100% what i payed for
1)I would like the plain ultrasound#2 *without the horns * on THICK glossy paper that says dyna lab in the back;the EXACT same one in the media selection photo(1) 2)doctors name to be: NAPOLLIELO OB patients name to be: JAMES, ASHLEY D hospital name to be: ST JOSEPH'S WAYNE HOSPITAL && thedate to be: 1/19/12 14:45:26PM also i would like *ALL TEST PATTERNS REMOVED* && the box on the right side of the ultrasound to read GA(LMP)=16W4D FA=14W4D GENDER: M FETUS 3.98in / 2.47 oz 10.1 cm C364 pretty much the same except a few tiny errors corrected.also the box on the inner right side that the above info is printed into can it not have that wierd pattern inside because it doesnt blend with the background of the rest of the ultrasound&& looks a little fake ..thanks so much!! im definatly satisfied with the order so far guys 
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Date: 1.29.2012 Author: nekeyia Reply: We have received your info. I wonder know did y'all receive my message cuz i see my question is not posting |
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Date: 1.29.2012 Author: nekeyia This is my last change sorry can you put on the right side GA(LMP) =23w3d FA=21w3d Gender:F Fetus 11.36in/1lb 13.6cm |
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Date: 1.29.2012 Author: nekeyia Reply: We do not change the pictures. Can you please make the ultrasound pic look more like a 5 1/2 month ultrasound pic thank you so much no test pattern plain ultrasound 2 |
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Date: 1.29.2012 Author: Jessica Reply: It is being sent to the shipping address. I don't care if I am refunded for my order I just want it cancelled as it cannot be sent out to my billing address. This was intended to be a gag to the person at the address I was shipping it to and if it comes to my billing address it could cause a lot of problems and misunderstandings. The order must be cancelled and not shipped immediately! |
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Date: 1.29.2012 Author: nekeyia Can you please do not put gender remark or degree of probability at the bottom |
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Date: 1.27.2012 Author: Jessica Reply: No problem! I would like to also add the following to the numbers on the right hand side of the picture. GA 7w3d FA 5w4d All the other stuff can stay the other numbering can stay the same as the picture comes except what I added here and the time stamp I asked for on myprevious post. Thanks so much |
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Date: 1.27.2012 Author: Jessica Reply: No problem! I placed an order and the I need the content to be kept secret so please package the item discretely so that no one knows where the item is coming from. Could you also please make sure no signature is required for the item. Just leave in the mailbox. On the ultra sound I would like the time to be added to it. I would like it to say 1:23:47PM. Is all of this possible? Please let me know as soon as possible |
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Date: 1.26.2012 Author: Key Reply: No problem! Okay nevermind then. Can you just remove the test patterns and change the date on it to 01/30/2012 and sex to 10 percent male thats if it has not already been shipped. Thanks for your help guys! |
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Date: 1.26.2012 Author: Pretice Reply: We shave sent you an email and a paypal request. I placed an order on Tuesday, but have not received a confirmation number. Can you contact me, so that I can pay for rush shipment, I need by Tuesday of next week. |
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Date: 1.25.2012 Author: Key Reply: Yes we can remove the comments and the patterns. But scaling down the image requires a custom order which is $39.90. Hi! I made a mistake by putting something in the comments on the order form. I didnt know it would be put on the ultrasound! I only ordered it today so can you please made sure there are no test patterns. and I wanted you guys to scale the baby down a little bit. I am trying to "pass for 8-10 weeks. Thanks you soo much. |
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Date: 1.23.2012 Author: gloria Reply: What happens when you try to order? I want the twins at 8 week photo but it won't let me order |
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Date: 1.23.2012 Author: Carla Reply: Yes they do and we cannot recommend that you cut them off. Hello! I was just curious as to if the plain fake pregnancy sonograms actually say FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY on them. Or anything else that would give it away? Thanks so much. |
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Date: 1.23.2012 Author: Emily Reply: Your order is shipping today. You will receive a tracking notice today as well. I didnt recieve a tracking # did it ship yet so i can contact the postal service? |
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Date: 1.22.2012 Author: carly Reply: Please try a different browser or computer. Thx! hi i just tried to purchurse order iv been given an order number but i wasnt able to make a payment |
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Date: 1.21.2012 Author: Emily Reply: Ok once we process your order we will make those changes. I submitted the form but i would like for the box on the inner right side of the ultrasound to be changed to: GA(LMP)=16W4D FA=14W4D GENDER:M FETUS 3.98in /2.47oz 10.1cm C364 And also i need *ALL* test patterns removed please,thank you!
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Date: 1.19.2012 Author: Emily Reply: We did not receive payment from you, so your order never shipped and you were never charged. I checked the balance on my card and the money is still there so i guess my order wasnt submitted I didnt get a tracking number or comfirmation email either. Was my order recieved? & when should i expect it in the mail? 
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Date: 1.19.2012 Author: Emily Reply: No problem, we only charge more if there are customizing to the ultrasound pictures themselves. Thanks! Yesterday 1/18/12 i tryed to order the plain ultrasound#2 Did it go through? If so, i would like *ALL* test patterns removed. Also the info i put in for the date on the ultrasound needs to be changed to just: 1/19/12 14:45:26PM inside the ultrasound the box on the inner right side can the info be changed to GA(LMP)=16W2D FA= 14W2D GENDER:M FETUS 3.98IN 2.47 OZ 10.1 CM anything else can stay the same thanks sooo much!
I hope i dont get charged extra for these changes since i had trouble submitting the form & wasnt able to put what i wanted in the first place
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Date: 1.18.2012 Author: Jubba Reply We have sent you an email. I submitted an order of an ultrasound and I want to put it through but I really need to know how to let you know what I want changed on it. Will you please contact me ASAP? Thanks |
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Date: 1.16.2012 Author: ELIZABETH Thanks so much for so quickly fixing the problems with my order! |
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Date: 1.15.2012 Author: Amy Reply: This is what USPS has to say: Label/Receipt Number: 9405 5102 0088 3258 1322 51 Class: Priority Mail® Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™ Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 11:52 am on January 09, 2012 in ROCHESTER, NY 14609. Enter Label/Receipt Number. Detailed Results: Delivered, January 09, 2012, 11:52 am, ROCHESTER, NY 14609 Out for Delivery, January 09, 2012, 8:57 am, ROCHESTER, NY 14609 Sorting Complete, January 09, 2012, 8:47 am, ROCHESTER, NY 14609 Arrival at Post Office, January 09, 2012, 5:42 am, ROCHESTER, NY 14609 Processed through USPS Sort Facility, January 09, 2012, 12:42 am, ROCHESTER, NY 14606 Processed at USPS Origin Sort Facility, January 07, 2012, 9:06 pm, KENT, WA 98032 Accepted at USPS Origin Sort Facility, January 07, 2012, 7:51 pm, BELLEVUE, WA 98008 Electronic Shipping Info Received, January 07, 2012 We recommend you go to the post office and demand toy talk to the actual mail carrier who claims to have delivered it. I have place to order with you guys and one said it has been delived the other now track number had came I used two cards to place the orders and one still has a day or so but for it should be hear but the other one say it has been delived but I have been home and no one could have got it can you tell me whats going on |
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Date: 1.15.2012 Author: K Brown Reply: We have sent you an email. Thx! Hi, I just purchased and paid for a custom newspaper where I will supply the images, but I cannot find any upload link to upload my jpeg to your FTP site. How can I go about finding that link? Thanks for your help, K Brown |
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Date: 1.15.2012 Author: Emily Reply: We have sent you an email. My phone wont allow me to fill out the ultrasound form ! So is it possible to have it emailed and i fill it out that way? Also can you tell me the cost of the plain ultrasound#2 without the test patterns going to garfield nj would be if i order it 1/16/12?
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Date: 1.14.2012 Author: GospelOfPrevention Reply: They are size large. Its to EMPHASIZE the belly. However; we do have a small model coming out very soon! Along with a whole new website! What is the size of your pregnant bellies? I am afraid that the bellies are too huge- a healthy pregnancy does not mean gaining 35 pounds of weight including the baby!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsPL9unNss |
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Date: 1.14.2012 Author: Jubba Reply: About 12 weeks and yes we can. How far along is the plain ultrasound 2? Can you change measurements on it? |
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Date: 1.13.2012 Author: deserey Reply: Its 5 to 7 in the 3D section What is the title to the 5 to 7 weeks |
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Date: 1.13.2012 Author: deserey The 5 to 7 week would be good. And yes we can. Rush would get it there in 2 or 3 days total. I want to order a ultrasound from you but I need one for showing I'm about 5 weeks which one is the best bc the one u have look more along and I was wondering if it'd be possible to remove all the test patterns from it to make it seem more real (from the top, bottom, and middle, if there's any in the middle) Also If i ordered it RUSH delivery how soon will it get here |
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Date: 1.12.2012 Author: sandy Yep! I got the shipping notice,but i thought that was for the fake perscription i ordered from you guys. Are both in the same shipment?? That would be awesome!! |
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Date: 1.12.2012 Author: sandy We sent out a tracking notice yesterday... ;) Hey guys- i emailed you guys about my fake highway sign newspaper, and thanks for getting back to me so quickly about adding THIS LANE RESERVED FOR THE GIOBBSTER to it. Any chance of it being shipped out soon? |
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Date: 1.12.2012 Author: Jubba Reply: Yes. Two things: you would need to give us notice in writing that you are the owner of those images, and two they would be custom orders. Thats means the cost is 48.90 per image. Thanks!! Hi, I'm looking to order some "ultrasounds" and was curious if I sent you a few images of some if you could just change the name and date on it for me? |
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Date: 1.11.2012 Author: Rochella Reply: No problem! I responded to a email I received from customer service at gmail. I needed to change my shipping address , then I additionally asked for the cm to be changed to 6.5 and 10wks be added to what I put in the comments. I just want to know if you received it. |
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Date: 1.10.2012 Author: Sandy Reply: No problem, we'll fix that for you! I just ordered your fake newspaper with the traffic signs, but cannot find any space on the order form to say what i want on the sign! I want it to read THIS LANE RESERVED FOR THE GIOBBSTER |
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Date: 1.9.2012 Author: Lydia george Reply: Thanks! You just earned yourself 15 percent off your next order! you guys rock!! Got my orders and they both looked so real, especially the ultrsound. It was great, my Aunt and Mom totally believed it, it took them like 15mins to see at the bottom entertaiment purposes only...lol. thanks. Guys and thanks for correctin my spellin error on ultrasound.
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Date: 1.9.2012 Author: KIMANNE We send out tracking info with every order. Here are your details. Contact your post office for more info. Label/Receipt Number: 9405 5102 0083 0262 2862 03 Class: Priority Mail® Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™ Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 9:58 am on January 07, 2012 in NEW ROCHELLE, NY 10801. Enter Label/Receipt Number. Detailed Results: Delivered, January 07, 2012, 9:58 am, NEW ROCHELLE, NY 10801 Arrival at Post Office, January 07, 2012, 8:22 am, NEW ROCHELLE, NY 10801 Processed through USPS Sort Facility, January 07, 2012, 2:08 am, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Depart USPS Sort Facility, January 07, 2012, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Processed through USPS Sort Facility, January 07, 2012, 2:04 am, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Processed at USPS Origin Sort Facility, January 05, 2012, 10:29 pm, KENT, WA 98032 Accepted at USPS Origin Sort Facility, January 05, 2012, 9:14 pm, SEATTLE, WA 98115 Electronic Shipping Info Received, January 05, 2012 My order was submitted on 12-27-11... It is now 1-9-12 where is my order? please let me know when i will be receiving ty |
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Date: 1.8.2012 Author: Annie Reply: No problem! Hello (again), I just ordered an ultrasound from you and I was wondering if it'd be possible to remove all the test patterns from it to make it seem more real (from the top, bottom, and middle, if there's any in the middle) Also I ordered it RUSH delivery the night of 01/08/12 and I was wondering if I'd be able to get it by the 13 since the date of the ultrasound would be the 13. If not then would you mind changing the date to the 17? Also would it be possible to send me a shipping confirmation as you did before? Thank you. :) |
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Date: 1.8.2012 Author: Emily Reply: No problems! Your order is shipping today or tomorrow. Thx! Hi there! So excited to order my 4th or so annual puzzle for our big puzzle event but don't seem to have gotten any confirmation or tracking email this time. Ordered on 12/29, so just want to make sure it didn't get lost in the holiday rush? Usually it's so seamless, and I don't see anything in spam or anything. Can you check on our status? Thanks! |
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Date: 1.7.2012 Author: mo Reply: Your order shipped out last week. We sent out tracking info at that time. Its on the way. Thx! i havent got nothing in my junk box or email saying my order has been shipped i would like to no were my order is...how can i trace something when you havent sent me anything its been over a week now and im not happy
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Date: 1.5.2012 Author: Annie Reply: You should receive the tracking today. Hi, It's been a couple of days and I still haven't heard from you guys yet. I was wondering if my order has been shipped yet? |
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Date: 1.5.2012 Author: soph Reply: Our shipping dept has been very backed up, as we explained before this is our busy season. Your order is on the way and we apologize for the delay. I really am becoming concern about my order I never got a confrimation email or nothing plz help Μµ |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: soph Reply: We are still a little delayed do to holiday shipping, but your order is on the way! thx! I have not recieved my order but the money is go ne outta my bank |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: rosy Reply: We are still a little delayed due to holiday shipping, but yes it has. thx! I want to know if my item was shipped? |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: Annie Reply: As stated on the website, most of our products carry the disclaimer. We cannot advise you to remove it. I am sorry for sending you multiple messages but I am a bit forgetful I also wanted to ask you if there was any way to remove the disclaimer stamp/message on the bottom of the page that says "For entertainment purposes only" Thank you. |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: Annie Reply: We will look for your new form asap. Hi, I had already submitted a previously question and then realized that I had to make some changes to the form. I just wanted to make sure the changes would be reflected on the form. Thanks. |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: Annie Reply: We will send you a notice of shipment! thx! Hi, I placed my order last night around 10pm I was just wondering if you can let me know when it's shipped. I am not looking for a tracking number but I would just like to know so that I can look out for it and the person I'm pranking doesn't find it before I do. Thanks :) |
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Date: 1.3.2012 Author: sylathia lester Reply: If you would like a reshipment please follow the information at this link: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/extras/re_ship.html Thank you! i went to the post office and they said it was sent back to u and to get in contact with u as to resend it what do need to do now so that i can receive what i ordered ? |
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Date: 1.1.2012 Author: Lydia George Reply: Yes we can fix that! Hi guys, I just saw on my order for the ultrasond I had a typo. I had mispelt obstetrics, I had put Obstertrics, an extra r. Please please would you be able to fix that and remove the r, so my ultrasound would have Obstetrics spelt correctly, so my prank will be funny, but not on me. Thanks |
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Date: 12.30.2011 Author: rosy Reply: Yes, it has. Thx! has the order been shipped? |
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Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us: Here are the glorious winners: Win Bets!
Personalized Fake and Joke Newspapers and Personalized Newspapers and Personalized Headlines for Gags and Gifts, Birthdays, Movies and Plays, Advertising, Publicity Stunts, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Stag Parties, Corporate Recognition, Awards, Thank You's, Revenge, Make a Point, Birth and Death Announcements, Wedding and Marriage Announcements, Practical Jokes, Cerebral Terrorism, Personalized Birthday Gags, Gifts. Fake Newspapers available in Small (pocket clipping) size, Full single page, Whole newspaper, Giant Poster, and Tabloid (by special request) . . TrixiePixie Graphics®, Channel54News®, and the "Resting Bird" graphic are Registered Trademarks. TrixiePixGraphics™, National-Media™, and FakeNewspapers™ are Trademarks of TrixiePixie Graphics®. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. TrixiePixie Graphics®, Channel54News®, TrixiePix Graphics™ and FakeNewspapers™ are Protected under US and International Law. Copyrights © 1982 - 2011 TrixiePixie Graphics®. All Rights Reserved.
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If you use this forum:
Your message is not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination. All correspondence sent to or through the TrixiePixGraphics.com and FakeNewspapers.com domains, are not considered private and may be subject to public dissemination.
You may check these FAQs to see if your question has already been answered:
How Quickly Will You Receive Your Order?
What if Your Order Seems to be Missing?
Before posting a help
request, please (please)
check for answers below:================================
1. Where's my tracking number?
The carrier, not us, sends a tracking number to the email address you used when ordering. Please check your junk, spam or deleted folders. It is possible (likely) that your ISP has configured its servers to deny emails from the major carriers. Why? Good question! Please ask your ISP. We do not send duplicate tracking or label numbers. Please read this again: We do not send duplicate tracking or label numbers. By the time we receive your inquiry, process it, find the tracking number and reply, your item will usually have arrived anyway. Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.
2. My order is late / missing:
When we trace a "missing" shipment we find, in 99+ cases out of 100, that it was delivered and signed for days before but a family member or co-worker forgot to mention it. Remember, if you chose regular shipping, your order may take 72 hours to print. If it is ready for shipment on a weekend it may not go out until Monday. It may then take 4-7 additional BUSINESS days to reach you. Or it may really be missing! (see below). Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.
3. My order still hasn't shown up. Where the heck is it?
We receive many orders returned to us as "unclaimed" or "unable to deliver". If your tracking data says your order was returned due to a problem, and that same tracking shows that we have received it back, please use this link to have it re-shipped. But please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.
4. You made a mistake on my order!
We're far angrier at ourselves when we make a mistake than you could ever be. Just notify us as politely as possible and we'll take care of it immediately, and we'll thrash, beat, chastise (and possibly fire) the person responsible. But ranting, raving, cursing, threatening and insulting us will NOT help your cause, just as it will not help any cause in any other life-endeavor.
5. You shipped to my BILLING address instead of my SHIPPING address. WHY!??
Internet fraud has skyrocketed. The most common ploy of the Internet fraudster is to steal a credit card, and to buy a bunch of "stuff" online, then to have those items shipped to an alternate address. A month or three later the owner of the card discovers the fraudulent activity on their card; they file a chargeback, and the retailer loses their money. In the first four months of 2007 we have lost in the neighborhood of $11,500 due to this exact scenario. We finally had NO CHOICE but to adopt the policy that many other retailers had already switched to -- that of shipping ONLY to the registered billing address.
6. When I track my order the carrier's website provides info that doesn't make any sense. What kind of crap is that?
For instance, USPS sometimes reports that they haven't even received your package for shipping for several days after you signed for its delivery! Please do NOT inquire about so-called "missing" orders until the allotted time period for their arrival has elapsed (up to ten (10) BUSINESS DAYS for regular shipping, and up to five (5) BUSINESS DAYS for "RUSH"). Generally your order will arrive far sooner, but it cannot be considered "officially missing" until these times have elapsed.
7. Do you print your newspapers on real newsprint?
Yes, of course (amazingly some of our copycat competitors do not).
8. Do your newspapers have print and ads and whatnot on BOTH sides?
Yes.
9. I submitted a question to you four days ago and I never received a reply.
This space USED to feature a couple of sentences like THIS: "As long as we can even remotely make sense of your message (the Internet is overflowing with the deranged at 3 a.m.) we ALWAYS reply. Always. Period. No exceptions. Always within 24 hours, but usually within a few hours, and often within a few minutes." We'll respond to inquiries that are even marginally valid/sane. But beyond that point we'll just delete them.
10. You said you refunded on something and credited my card, but all I see is a debit on my statement. Are you a bunch of rip-off bastards or what?!
Whenever a refund is found to be due, from us to you, it's done that very same night, after 22:30 Pacific, when our receipts for the day are batch-dumped to the credit card processor. We can't do a refund any sooner because as far as the system knows, your transaction does not yet exist (therefore it can't be reversed). At the moment we process a refund, an email is sent to the email address you used when you placed the order, confirming the refund, giving you a reference number for it, and stating what the refund was for. After that, it is up to YOUR BANK (or financial institution, card issuer, etc.) to decide when they want to post that refund to your statement. Banks, credit card companies and financial institutions, will usually hold onto those funds. It will usually take your bank or card company from a couple of days, to ten days or more, to finally get around to giving your money back to you, after we have given it back to them. Please do NOT email us with nasty-grams, accusing us of everything from stealing your money to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby, because we'll be just as snappy with you as you are with us. After all, the answer to your question was printed right here, all along.
11. I placed my order, but now I realize I made a mistake. Can I email you with a correction or update? Please? Just this once??
You must SUBMIT A NEW FORM. Just submit the form -- do NOT continue through the payment process again, or you'll be charged again!
12. I tried to buy something on your site but my credit card was declined. This is BS! My credit card should work!
The most common reasons an issuing bank declines a transaction include, but are not limited to:
- The cardholder has exceeded the account's credit limit.
- The cardholder is late on payment to the issuing bank.
- The cardholder has specified to the issuing bank that the cardholder would not like Internet-based transactions to be approved for that card.
- These are usually referred to as [REASON 2] by your card company. "Reason 2" is an error issued by YOUR card company, and not by us or any company affiliated with us. You must resolve all Reason-2 declines with your own card company.
13. I tried to place an order but it failed due to something called "500 SSL negotiation failed".
500 SSL NEGOTIATION FAILED: There are at least five companies or entities involved in the processing of a single online credit card transaction. One would seem to be enough, but too many people have found ways to insert themselves into the process to try to skim a few pennies off of every Internet sale. Each one of these outfits requires that your order be processed through their servers, like dominoes, one after another. Usually this all takes place in the blink of an eye. But if even one of those servers goes down, the transaction fails. Authorize.net is famous for server glitches, and the amount of money those problems cost their clients (us) in lost sales and angry (ex) customers is absolutely staggering. We see no evidence that Auth.net particularly cares. Generally, when you see this error, you can wait a few minutes and try again; chances are good it will then go through.
14. REASON 2, REASON 4, REASON 27 Declines, more info
REASON 27: The address you entered as your billing address does not match the address the credit card company has on file for that card.
REASONS 2, 4: . It is an error that YOUR card company issues to OUR card processor prohibiting the sale under any conditions. We simply pass that error code to you. There is nothing we can change in our cart that will stop a REASON 2 or 4 decline from being issued, BECAUSE IT IS ISSUED DIRECTLY FROM YOUR OWN BANK OR CREDIT CARD COMPANY, and NOT from, or by, us. We have no more control over your bank or its policies than you have over ours.
Even MORE info:
A REASON 2 decline means that (1) you are over your card limit and your card issuer has frozen further use of your card until you pay down the balance, or (2) it means that you are late on your payments and your card company has frozen your card until you pay down the balance, or (3) the cardholder has specified to the issuing bank that the cardholder would not like Internet-based transactions to be approved for that card.
15. REASON #3 Declines:
When we query the card processor's reason-code service for "Response Reason 3" we receive the following (note that in these cases the customer will need to use an alternate method of payment as we will not accomodate this non-standard request -- we see this roughly once every two or three years):
"This transaction has been declined. Notes: Integration Team Suggestions: A referral to a voice authorization center was received. Please call the appropriate number below for a voice authorization.
For American Express call: (800) 528-2121
For Diners Club call: (800) 525-9040
For Discover/Novus call: (800) 347-1111
For JCB call : (800) 522-9345
For Visa/MasterCard call: (800) 228-1122
Once an authorization is issued, you can then submit the transaction through your Virtual Terminal as a Capture Only transaction."16. REASON #250 Declines
REASON 250: If you're declined for [REASON 250], it's our doing. Reason 250 means that we've specifically and explicitly banned you from ordering from us. Usually that's because of some problem we've had with you in the past, but it could be due, simply, to activity on our website or in our shopping cart which we see as "suspicious". If you've tried to order inappropriate products in the past (Fake Home Medical Tests for Cancer, for instance, or Fake Drug Prescriptions for Cancer Treatment or Pre-Natal Vitamins, let's say), we may have blocked you for that.
17. REASON #65 Declines
REASON 65: This means you entered the card code (located on the back of your card) incorrectly. This could mean that you simply typed the wrong number and you should try again, or it could mean that the card you're trying to use is not really yours, and if we print and ship your product, we'll never get paid for it.
18. You charged my card once, twice (or thrice) even though my order was declined! What kind of rip-off bastards are you, anyway?!
There are two possible reasons for this:
(a) You clicked the "SUBMIT ORDER" button more than once. This has become such a huge problem that most banks and credit card processors have now set up a bit of software that looks for multiple transactions like this, which are usually made only seconds apart, and automatically cancels one of them. It may take a day or three for this cancellation to be seen on your credit card statement. If, after a few days, it still shows as a debit, simply notify us POLITELY and we'll immediately look into it. If a double or triple charge shows in our books, we'll credit as appropriate. However, sometimes a double charge will NOT show in our books. In that case you're dealing with a problem within your own bank. See below:
(b) Even in the case of a cancelled order, YOUR BANK will still often reserve the funds that would have gone to pay for your order. In the case of a declined transaction, WE do not EVER get your money, YOUR Credit Card Bank has put a hold on it. This is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we have no control over it. Your bank will usually automatically clear those funds within a few days. Please do NOT email us to ask why we charged your card, when the order was cancelled. We have NOT charged your card in this instance. It is the policy of YOUR BANK.
19. I filled out one of your forms and clicked SUBMIT, but either NOTHING happened, or something "bad" happened! What kind of idiots are you, anyway?!
Sometimes a connection between you and us (Houston) is slow and/or in the process of failing. Sometimes a bit can "get stuck" in your browser's cache, especially with Microsoft, not so much with Mozilla browsers. If this is the case, shutting down the browser and restarting it will usually cure it. Or even rebooting the computer, especially if it's Windows. Clearing the cache in a browser will often or usually help as well -- instructions are different depending on the browser. Also, a common problem is large image attachments. Pics need not usually be over, say, 100-200k, yet sometimes customers try to upload some ten meg (10,000k) monstrosity. Our forms will actually handle those, provided the customer is willing to sit and wait. Unfortunately, we've found no form that RELIABLY shows the progress of an upload, so we've opted for a form which doesn't even try to show the progress.
20. I Received a SPAM Email from You! I HATE Spam! Now I hate YOU!
No, you most assuredly did not receive a spam from us, nor a "newsletter" a "special offer for special customers", or any other email that was not specifically and explicitly related to the processing of your current order. We have never, ever sent a single spam, and we never will. To find out how this happens, please Google the term "spoof" or "spoofed emails". All communication is routed through our online form (below), so as to avoid any discrepancy regarding the origin of any email, whether coming in, or going out.
21. I want you to ship to an address other than my registered billing address. Can this be done?
No.
22. OK, OK, but I STILL want my order shipped to an alternate address. There must be SOME way to do this?!?
Sorry, but no. We want to protect you and ourselves from internet theft.
22. I Tried to Order but Got an "ERROR 21"!
Please try your order again.
When we run that error through the credit card processor we get the following.
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