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Letterman Award

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:

Here are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
 
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.  (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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Personalized Fake and Joke Newspapers and Personalized Newspapers and Personalized Headlines for Gags and Gifts, Birthdays, Movies and Plays, Advertising, Publicity Stunts, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Stag Parties, Corporate Recognition, Awards, Thank You's, Revenge, Make a Point, Birth and Death Announcements, Wedding and Marriage Announcements, Practical Jokes, Cerebral Terrorism, Personalized Birthday Gags, Gifts. Fake Newspapers available in Small (pocket clipping) size, Full single page, Whole newspaper, Giant Poster, and Tabloid (by special request)

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TrixiePixie Graphics®, Channel54News®, and the "Resting Bird" graphic are Registered Trademarks. TrixiePixGraphics™, National-Media™, and FakeNewspapers™ are Trademarks of TrixiePixie Graphics®. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. TrixiePixie Graphics®, Channel54News®, TrixiePix Graphics™ and FakeNewspapers™ are Protected under US and International Law. Copyrights © 1982 - 2011 TrixiePixie Graphics®. All Rights Reserved.

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Who are we and where the heck did TrixiePixGraphics come from?

TrixiePixGraphics is the natural evolution of several chronic malcontents who, as far back as the late Seventies, began devising practical jokes and gags to humiliate (in a good way), and embarrass (we're laughing with you, not at you) their friends and co-workers. From time to time they also sought a little genuine revenge. Their humor was dry....as dry as the Sahara. And leaned toward British humor, poker-faced deliveries of outrageous stunts and gags. Not everyone appreciated their sense of humor.

By the early Eighties all but one of this group, John Sampote (the owner of TrixiePixGraphics), had outgrown their adolescent urges. That guy was left alone to inflict his version of insanity humor upon the world. In those days his practical jokes included fake and joke newspapers and personalized headlines geared toward political satire/parody, revenge, get-even, retirement gags, jokes on co-workers and the like. In 1982 John figured he'd better start copyrighting his stuff.

Throughout the next several years demand for John's wacky joke newspapers grew, and grew, and eventually outgrew the amount of spare time he had to invest in the pursuit. So he began charging for his services.

With the invention of larger printers came new possibilities such as giant birthday and welcome home banners, fake FBI and "old west" wanted posters, custom, personalized gift wrapping papers and posters and custom murals. With the invention of new and exotic substrates came dry-erase products and countless media choices for all other products.

Fake food cans were added one year as a Christmas gag designed to offer something more original in the Christmas stocking of the ne'r do well than a lump of coal.

The company's line of fake and joke newspapers evolved to include a huge, poster-size fake newspaper printed on heavy stock for parties and large events, and the addition of "aged" newsprint for customers wanting to create or duplicate old or dated fake newspapers. TrixiePixGraphics can also produce tabloid-sized fake or joke newspapers.

TrixiePixGraphics holds a number of Internet domains, but only two are most commonly associated with the main TrixiePixGraphics site: www.TrixiePixGraphics.com and www.FakeNewspapers.com. For all intents and purposes these two domains should be considered one and the same.

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The Internet Copycat Problem

TrixiePixGraphics has endured its share of shameless copycats. Since the ideas and products produced by TrixiePixGraphics are original, we often wonder why others can't come up with their own original ideas. We're disgusted by the copycat mentality, the copycatters should be embarrassed for themselves, and the potential victim customer should be wary of the dubious morality of such companies.

For instance we started in 1982, going online in 1996. Since then we've always been the number-one Google search result. We're clearly, unarguably the biggest and best fake newspaper supplier in the world. Recently, however, a little company has started up with a ridiculous product, claiming "they" are the only fake newspaper supplier in the world. Even if we didn't exist, there's a plethora of fake newspaper suppliers in existence today--none of which provide a believable product, but that's beside the point. Just this past year has seen five (5!) fake and joke newspaper companies sprout up in the UK alone! We know this company mentioned above has been aware of us since they started in 2003, because they've stolen our product descriptions word for word, simply cutting and pasting them into their site! We log their accesses to our servers almost every day, checking our products to look for new ideas they can pilfer and call their own, and checking our Google rankings. Any company's claim of being "the only" fake newspaper maker is simply an attempt to trick the customer into ordering from them (quickly, so they don't have time to shop around). It's called lying, and it borders on the legal definition of fraud. A company which lies about something so easily proven false will lie about anything. Usually, such company's'"testimonials" are pure fiction, and their claims of "sales in [so many] countries" is a blatant fabrication. They may have gone into their server logs and noted that they had visitors from so many countries (usually just bots)---but we promise, they don't have sales to those countries.

Here's another 2005 quote from a recent copycat:

[in business] SINCE 1975

In 2004 that company advertised that it had been in the business for 20 years. The year before, they advertised they'd been in business 10 years. Next year maybe they'll have been in business for 30 years. We have to wonder where this mentality, and this morality, comes from. Is it simply, now, the "American Way". If so, God Help America.

If a customer doesn't particularly appreciate being TRICKED (and who does), then the customer needs to be aware of other shopping options. Why lie when the lies are so transparent? It only makes the company look foolish and suspect. These dishonest companies don't seem to understand that if they continue picking and pecking and nipping at the larger companies, the larger companies will sooner or later turn around and bite them. If this kind of smarm and dishonesty rubs you the wrong way, as it does us and most other honorable people around the world, we suggest the customer exercise care in choosing their online vendors. We monitor these companies, and we continue to build a file on each of them which will one day serve us well in copyright infringement suits against them. Still, we can't help but wonder why these outfits can't simply come up with their own ideas, so they don't have to constantly worry about which lies they've told to whom, and so they can sleep at night without worrying about the process server showing up at their doors in the morning. The level of deceit frankly boggles the mind.


Copyright © 1982-2012 TrixiePixGraphics.Com, and FakeNewspapers.com and Fake-Newspapers.com, All Rights Reserved, No portion of this site may be copied or reproduced by any means, in whole or in part, for any reason without the express written permission of TrixiePixGraphics.Com or FakeNewspapers.com or Fake-Newspapers.com. Our copyright is "enthusiastically" protected.


Please do NOT email us to say the following paragraph is misspelled!

Aodccrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers
in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmuan
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azmanig huh?

And you awlyas tghuoht slpeling was ipmorantt

823 Days without a paper cut                                                   Saddam Hussein Sexy Underwear Picture

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