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Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:
Here are the glorious winners:
1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Large Novelty Checks, Huge Checks, Giant Checks, Gag Checks, Contest Winner Checks, Corporate
Event Checks, Party Checks, Gigantic Checks, Humungous Checks, Fake Checks, Oversized Checks
Custom Printed Oversized Checks
Ever Wondered Where They Get Those
GIANT CHECKS
When They Give Away a Million Dollars?
Giant Personal
Bank Checks are $9.95 & Up
Cashable or non-cashable (use real
or fake account numbers)
We produce a giant, oversized check for all needs, budgets and occasions.
Choose the right Giant Check for your needs:
Non Customizable Giant Checks
$9.95 14x28
inches Non-personalized Giant Checks on semi-stiff posterboard (FCH-17) <<< Cheapest <<<
Design-Your-Own from Scratch Giant Checks (provide your own image)
(supply your own complete check image)
$32.95 22x42
inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-1)
$65.00 42x91 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-2)
$32.95 14x28 inches Giant Checks on light, semi-stiff poster board (FCH-3)
$74.95 22x42
inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-4)
$185.00 42x91 inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-5)
$145.00 35x18 inches Giant Checks on semi-gloss, very rigid, non-erasable Gatorboard (FCH-6)
$175.00 35x18 inches Giant Checks on hi-gloss, very rigid, dry-erase Gatorboard (FCH-7)
Giant Pre-Made Template Checks (just fill in the blanks)
(just fill in the blanks on our image)
$32.95 22x42
inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-8) <<< Most Popular <<<
$74.95 42x91 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-9)
$32.95 14x28 inches Giant Checks on light, semi-stiff poster board (FCH-10)
$65.00 22x42
inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-11)
$165.00 42x91 inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-12)
$145.00 35x18 inches Giant Checks on semi-gloss, rigid, non-erasable Gatorboard (FCH-13)
$175.00 35x18 inches Giant Checks on hi-gloss, rigid, dry-erase Gatorboard (FCH-14) <<< Coolest <<<
CASH-REWARDS™ Giant Checks (proprietary)
(must be a member of CASH REWARDS to order)
$79.00 22x42
inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-15)
$185.00 42x91 inches Giant Checks on flexible dry-erase (FCH-16)
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Note about the difference between "laminated" and "dry-erase":
Our plain paper and plain posterboard checks can be laminated. Just choose "laminate me" during checkout. However, if you're hoping to use a laminated check as a dry-erase check, please understand that there is a world of difference between the material used to laminate, and a true dry-erase surface. A laminate film is soft. It'll work fine for dry-erase for the first couple of uses, but its surface will invariable and unavoidably become scratched and scuffed. Even scuffing on a microscopic level makes dry-erase marker more and more difficult to remove, until finally, it can't be removed at all. Since the very purpose of choosing a dry-erase product is to obtain the best possible longevity of said product, it doesn't make sense to save a few bucks on a laminated surface, but have that surface become unusable for the intended purpose after only a few uses. We supply most dry-erase products for a national restaurant chain, for instance. Our dry-erase media continues to hold up and work perfectly, year after year after decade. Occasionally the chain buys twenty or thirty thousand units of some sort of so-called "dry-erase" product, which turns out to be really just a laminated paper, because it was cheap. And in a few months time the dumpsters are full of that same product. Lamination will protect your product from ocassional liquid spills, and it'll provide a bit of UV protection, and it'll turn a rough old piece of poster paper into an almost luxurious-to-the-touch media, but if you need something for a dry-erase purpose, please choose the appropriate item in a true dry-erase media from the selections below.
Message Area: I LOVE Your checks. I've looked around for other options, but yours are still the best. You guys did a job for me a couple yrs ago and client LOVED it!! I know you say you don't customize your template checks, but you did for me before. I would design my own (cuz I can), but I love your backgrounds, and I don't have access to them, so I need your help! Pleeeeaase tell me you can do this!. Your backgrounds are the absolute best and I have to have em. I will be happy to pay extra for any additional work needed. Tell me what to do. Nothing less than your check will do. All the other ones on other sites SUCK. They don't have the beautiful backgrounds. I love your site and love everything you write about copyrights, bitchy clients and insane requests, non-payment, etc. I'm a designer and run into these problems all the time. (did I kiss your ass enough? Let me know if you can help me : ) Thank you very much. Sandra Dixon
Heavy Poster Paper Giant Checks: Our heavy poster-paper checks are available in two sizes: 21 x 42 inches, and 42 x 91 inches (roughly 4 feet by 7.5 feet -- in other words, HUGE!). Use these for occasions in which the check will not be handled excessively but will be mounted by the customer to a foamboard or gatorboard type backing, or will be affixed to a wall, blackboard, window, or other structure. These are by far the most economical giant checks available. The printing is crisp, colors are vivid, and they're guaranteed to get attention. Great for advertising, gags with friends, even to pay off loans or nagging IOUs. And did we say they're affordable?
Posterboard Giant Checks: Measuring 14 x 28 inches, we think of these as "special purpose" checks, printed directly onto posterboard, these checks are sufficiently stiff that they can be held up by one person, yet flexible enough that they can be rolled & stored in a tube (use the tube they ship in). They're small enough that they can be used in a crowded boardroom. Coated with a liquid UV protection, they're very durable and the size makes them very "handy".
CASH-REWARDS™: Giant Checks: These are a proprietary giant check and may not be used by non-members of the CASH REWARDS program.
Dry-Erase Giant Checks: Dry-Erase Giant Checks are printed on a flexible, true-dry-erase media. This can be rolled tightly for storage and transport to sales locations, meetings, promotions, etc. The face of this media is NOT LAMINATED; it is a true-dry-erase media. Laminates are relatively soft, which translates to frequent scratching, scuffing and premature failure. A scratched surface will soon become difficult to clean 00 the dry erase inks will begin to stick. Laminates often bubble in time, delaminate, and tend to buckle if rolled -- all reasons we do not use laminates! Laminates are also not actual dry-erase materials. It so happens that many laminates will work as a dry-erase surface. Sort of. For awhile. But they become increasingly difficult to clean and, in our view, are just not useful as a long-lasting, quality product. We see companies come along often who try to promote various laminated giant checks, because, by using a laminate, they can print onto cheap paper yet still advertise the checks as "dry-erase". Such companies usually don't stay around long. Use our flexible true-dry-erase checks in situations where complete portability is needed (they'll easily roll into a 3" diameter tube) and/or in cases where backlighting can produce a brilliant, striking effect. Use our Gatorboard dry-erase giant checks when you need to project elegance and class. Our true-dry-erase media is luxurious and, well, cool! The surface is extremely, strikingly glossy, and it's assured these checks will get attention. Sized at 21 x 42 inches and 42 x 91, rollable or rigid. We supply all dry-erase media for a national pizza chain -- our media holds up year after year after decade under conditions that often approach a scene out of Dante's Inferno.
Gatorboard-mounted Giant Checks: Gatorboard-mounted Giant Checks are the Cadillacs of Giant Checks. Printed on either true-dry-erase media (not cheap paper, then laminated) or semi-gloss high resolution photo stock, these checks are professionally mounted to a relatively new material called "Gatorboard". It leaves foamboard in the dust (we don't use foamboard and never have). Gatorboard is incredibly strong, absolutely flat (unlike the thin, plastic, laminated Sintra-like backings some companies occasionally try to promote). The images shown on the product page for these checks don't even begin to demonstrate the strength of this material. It's truly amazing. Being pool-table-true and flat means that the audience or the cameraman won't see glossy "warps" and shimmering, lumpy highlights that move across the surface of thin, flexible backings. These have the look and feel of class, imparting the message that no expense was spared, that the company displaying these checks is healthy, prosperous, and has consummate good taste. These checks look as good or better than any you'll ever see on TV. Giant checks don't get any better than this.
"Design-Your-Own" from Scratch: Although we offer Giant Checks in a size, media and format for any occasion, budget and purpose, there are occasionally customers who need something out of the ordinary. In the past we've created one-of-a-kind custom checks for customers. But the time required for the back and forth of proofs, changes, artwork, changes to artwork, suggestions, corrections, updates.....proved prohibitive. We now offer to print and manufacture any check of your own design. Just create the Giant Check in the layout program of your choice, save the final product as a bitmap image (i.e. .tif, .jpg, .psd, .png, etc.) and we'll print it on the media of your choice, with or without backing. Corporations take advantage of this option year after year after year. If you don't see the size/backing option you need on the product page, please inquire.
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