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Letterman Award

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:

Here are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
 
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.  (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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This page contains a few of our alternate backgrounds. We have hundreds of backgrounds that we've printed and sold locally for over a decade, that we simply haven't had time to post online or to integrate into our Giant Checks checkout-system. Eventually we'll add all designs to this page. All we need is TIME. Got any you could spare?

All of the Giant Checks on this page may be printed using any of the following options;
(Choose your selection when filling out the personalization form on one of the pages linked below) :

$32.95 22x42 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-8)    <<< Most Popular <<<
$74.95 42x91 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-9)
$32.95 14x28 inches Giant Checks on light, semi-stiff poster board (FCH-10)
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$145.00 35x18 inches Giant Checks on semi-gloss, rigid, non-erasable Gatorboard (FCH-13)
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Check backgrounds are intentionally faded (decreased opacity) and slightly blurred as shown

Giant Checks - Animals 02   Giant Checks - Abstract 02
Giant Checks - Animals 02                                Giant Checks - Abstract 02

 

Giant Checks -  Animals 01   Giant Checks - Summer Vacation 01
Giant Checks - Animals 01                              Giant Checks - Summer Vacation 01

 

Giant Checks - Animals 03    Giant Checks - Birthday 01
Giant Checks - Animals 03                                     Giant Checks - Birthday 01

 

Giant Checks - Birthday 02    Giant Checks - Business 01
Giant Checks - Birthday 02                                  Giant Checks - Business 01

 

Giant Checks - Rewards 01    Giant Checks - Rewards 02
Giant Checks - Rewards 01                                  Giant Checks - Rewards 02

 

Giant Checks -  Rewards 03    Giant Checks - Cars 01
Giant Checks - Rewards 03                              Giant Checks - Cars 01

 

Giant Checks - Charity 01    Giant Checks - Charity 02
Giant Checks - Charity 01                             Giant Checks - Charity 02

 

Giant Checks - Computers 01    Giant Checks - Computers 02
Giant Checks - Computers 01                               Giant Checks - Computers 02

 

Giant Checks - Computers 03    Giant Checks - Computers 04
Giant Checks - Computers 03                            Giant Checks - Computers 04

 

Giant Checks - Cooking 01    Giant Checks - Cooking 02
Giant Checks - Cooking 01                              Giant Checks - Cooking 02

 

Giant Checks - Finance 01    Giant Checks - Flowers 01
Giant Checks - Finance 01                               Giant Checks - Flowers 01

 

Giant Checks - Food 01    Giant Checks - Games 01
Giant Checks - Food 01                                   Giant Checks - Games 01

 

Giant Checks - Games 02    Giant Checks - Games 03
Giant Checks - Games 02                                 Giant Checks - Games 03

 

Giant Checks - Graduation 01    Giant Checks - Realestate (housing) 01
Giant Checks - Graduation 01                        Giant Checks - Real Estate (housing) 01

 

Giant Checks - Scary 01    Giant Checks - Scary 02
Giant Checks - Scary 01                                  Giant Checks - Scary 02

 

Giant Checks - Scenery 01    Giant Checks - Scenery 02
Giant Checks - Scenery 01                               Giant Checks - Scenery 02

 

Giant Checks - Scenery 03 (Seattle Space Needle)    Giant Checks - Scenery 04
Giant Checks - Scenery 03                                Giant Checks - Scenery 04

 

Giant Checks - Scenery 05    Giant Checks - Scenery 06
Giant Checks - Scenery 05                               Giant Checks - Scenery 06

 

Giant Checks - Scenery 07    Giant Checks - Scenery 08
Giant Checks - Scenery 07                                Giant Checks - Scenery 08

 

Giant Checks - Scenery 09    Giant Checks - Silly 01 (stacks of coins)
Giant Checks - Scenery 09                             Giant Checks - Silly 01 (stacks of coins)

 

Giant Checks - Silly 03 (jail)    Giant Checks - Silly 04
Giant Checks - Silly 03 (jail)                                 Giant Checks - Silly 04

 

Giant Checks - Space/Planets 01    Giant Checks - Space/Moon 02
Giant Checks - Space/Planets 01                      Giant Checks - Space/Moon 02

 

Giant Checks - Sports 01    Giant Checks - Sports/Fitness 02
Giant Checks - Sports 01                              Giant Checks - Sports/Fitness 02

 

Giant Checks - Summer Vacation
Giant Checks - Summer Vacation

 

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