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Letterman Award

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:

Here are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
 
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.  (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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GIANT CHECKS

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This Giant Check requires only that you fill in the blanks and supply your logo (optional). To see our complete line of Giant Contest Winner-type Checks click HERE

Item Number FCH-8
22x42 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-8)


*** If I provide the actual banking information from my checking account for the giant checks, how secure is this information?

*** It's exactly as secure as it is every other time you mail or hand someone or some company a check. You're not providing any information to us that you don't provide to anyone who receives one of your checks.

Real Giant Checks

Try black crayon instead of felt pen on paper / posterboard checks

Remember: You are responsible for your image. GIGO means: Garbage In, Garbage Out. If you supply a poor quality logo image, it will print on your check(s) as a poor quality logo image!

Poster Paper "Default Color" Shown Below

Giant Award Winner Checks

Giant Award Winner Checks
Ships in a ROLL TUBE

Is ordering a giant check "SAFE"? It's exactly as safe as paying someone by check. We do not ask you for any info that is not already printed on your check, nor will we ever do so. TrixiePixGraphics will never contact you in this regard.

Are these checks actually cashable? Will the bank really honor them?Yes. Unless you use non-real numbers in the account and routing fields (e.g. 123456), or unless your bank manager / president is just a stink-butt. We've been advised of one (1) case, out of many thousands of giant checks sold and cashed at banks, in which the bank manager refused to process the check. The normal procedure is for the bank to duplicate the check data onto a special form (which all banks have) which can be processed through their machinery. It is the same form they use to process damaged / crumpled / torn checks of normal size. They will not usually keep your Giant Check. Assuming your check data is valid and there's money in the account, you should get your loot on the spot. Most banks see it as something "fun", and which promotes good will among its customers.Recently a local grade school held a competition in which each class competed to create the wackiest, most unusual check. The class to win the $25 prize wrote theirs on a watermelon. The bank cashed it without a hitch. A personal check is nothing more than a contract. As long as all the elements of the contract are present and legible, a personal check (which is essentially an IOU), may be (and has been) printed on a drink coaster, a t-shirt, someone's bare back, someone's bare front, a forearm, the sole of a foot, a baseball bat, a square of toilet paper (unused we presume), upon the actual bill that caused the check to be written, on a condom using a felt pen, and no doubt a thousand other media types that we've never heard of. In the case of a personal check which cannot physically go through the automated processing machinery, the bank will often issue a second document, of regular size and using the data from the gag check, and will process and cancel that.

Giant gag checks can be used for fun, to pay off a long-standing debt to a friend, to make the last payment on a 200 year mortgage. Or to use as a birthday present (these make GREAT birthday presents), or to pay your horrendously large bar-tab. Giant gag checks also have nefarious uses. Pay your tax bill with one, for instance. You'll probably get audited every year for the rest of your life, but even that can be entertaining. Use them to pay debts you really don't think you owe, but which you're stuck paying---like the repair bill on your car, your car registration, your electric bill, your rent, parking ticket fines... Since these are a legal document, the payee is hard-pressed to come up with a legitimate reason to refuse it. If they send it back, you'll have proof that you tried to pay the bill, but the payee refused to accept it. Tell them to feel free to contact you at some point in the future when they are more interested in accepting your perfectly legal payment.


Choose Color

You'll choose the color on the data form. These are the choices. Note: colors shown below may not accurately reflect the actual printed colors, depending on the setup of your monitor.

Your screen may approximate colors------printed colors may vary somewhat
Giant Award Winner Checks Default Color   
Default Check, Default Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Yellow Color  
Default Check, Yellow Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Blue Color   
Default Check, Blue Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Red Color   
Default Check, Red Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Purple Color   
Default Check, Purple Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Green Color   
Default Check, Green Color

Giant Award Winner Checks Cyan Color   
Default Check, Cyan Color

Giant Award Winner Checks White (no color)    
Default Check, White (no background) Color

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Use these to pay your medical malpractice insurance. They'll get the point. And they're especially gratifying to use when paying a speeding ticket or other infraction. We use them, for instance, to pay for our office space. Just give it some thought---you'll think of someone you want to notice you.

Read More about using giant checks

Giant Award Winner Checks
Giant Checks are laid out as shown above. We will not perform custom layout work
If our stock layouts won't work for you, you may create your own from scratch. Click HERE

Giant Award Winner Checks

Before you order please consider this:
We receive orders all the time which are incomplete or which contain some element or special instruction which is unclear. Most of these are received as rush, Next Day Air orders, so we naturally try to process them quickly. But we cannot complete your order if we have a question and cannot reach you. Please, please, we beg you, check your email periodically for the first 12-24 hours or so after placing any order, but especially a rush order. Thank you! 


Item Number FCH-8
22x42 inches Giant Checks on heavy poster paper (FCH-8)

$32.95

Giant Checks FCH-8 Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.
*Customer's First Name
(doesn't print)

39 characters remaining.
*Customer's Last Name
(doesn't print)

30 characters remaining.
*Email:
*Name and Address
(as it will appear on the check)

40 characters remaining.
*Check Number
6 characters remaining.
*Bank Identifyer
(e.g. 19-57/1250)

30 characters remaining.
* Bank Name and Address
(as it will appear on the check)

40 characters remaining.
*Bank Routing Number
(9 digits starting with 1, 2 or 3)

14 characters remaining.
*Account Number
(6 digits or more)

14 characters remaining.
Date of Check
(optional)

30 characters remaining.
Pay to the Order of
(optional)

40 characters remaining.
Amount of Check
(optional)

40 characters remaining.
For
(optional)

30 characters remaining.
*Check Design/Color  
Upload Your Logo
(optional)
*I understand I must check
email within 12-24 hrs after
placing this order in case
there is a question
concerning my order
Yes
*

I understand that I must submit a NEW
FORM to make corrections or updates

Yes
*

I understand that I may NOT email
corrections or updates

Yes
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