Fake "Drug" Prescriptions

Personalized, of course...

Did your significant other take their STUPID PILL Today?

A big, beefy bottle of big, beefy pills....
...to treat the most persistent of social afflictions...

Send a "gentle" message to an offending friend or co-worker

Take ten per day for STUPIDITY
Take one every eight minutes for BITCHINESS
Take one before bedtime for IMPOTENCE -- naw, make it FIVE
Take one every hour for DISHONESTY (for the office pilferer)
Take one hourly for DISLOYALTY (for the office snitch)
Insert one capsule hourly FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE (for your boss)
Insert one capsule twice daily for FRIGIDITY (for the Victorian Princess)
Take 2 capsules as needed for ROAD RAGE
Take 2 capsules hourly if you voted Democrat (continue as long as delusions persist)
Take 2 capsules hourly if you voted Republican (continue as long as delusions persist)
Take 4 capsules hourly if you think the City Council has your best interests at heart

Take five/day rectally for whining liberalism, continue while symptoms persist
Take five/day rectally for obnoxious conservatism, continue while symptoms persist

Take one, twice daily, for bad stock decisions
Insert one each hour for flatulence
Take two capsules daily for BAD FASHION SENSE
Take eight capsules hourly for poor judgement in choosing boyfriends
Take eight capsules hourly for poor judgement in choosing girlfriends
Take 3 capsules every 12 hours or as needed to curb the urge to vote Republican
Take 3 capsules every 12 hours or as needed to curb the urge to vote Democrat
Take ten capsules every 30 minutes if you believe George Bush
Take two capsules daily for obnoxiousness
Take as needed for POTTI MOUTH

 

Don't get us wrong -- we sort of like ol' George. We're just trying to adhere to the law that states you must bash ALL presidents, regardless of race, creed greed or color, because you know they deserve it for something...

Arrives in a regular prescription bag

 

Optional sticky labels (shown as blue, above)
Choose your sticker in the form below

 

Caps are usually blue (above) or red or clear
(size 00, otherwise known as "horse pills")

 

Complete the form below. All "prescriptions" come with a warning & disclaimer label on the back. We must advise you to NEVER REMOVE IT.

WARNING:

Capsules are for entertainment purposes only. Capsules are not to be ingested or inserted into any body cavity or orifice. Keep capsules AWAY FROM CHILDREN (and many adults). In case of accidental ingestion, capsules contain a harmless ingredient.

FP-01
$14.95

How to complete the form:

Great Stocking Stuffers...

IMPORTANT!

We will cancel your order if:

This product is designed as a gag, a joke, a humorous aside. We will not honor orders placed for "real" medications, or for fake medications which are not clearly and obviously a gag. For instance, we will not honor your order for "cancer treatment", or for "pre-natal vitamins", or for "muscle relaxer", AIDS Treatment, or any other real disease or affliction. This product is designed for absurd and ridiculous afflictions and treatments only -- such as "crankiness", "laziness", or "stupidity". How can you be sure your order will be honored and filled? Here's the litmus test: If any doctor, anywhere, would ever write a prescription for the medication and/or affliction you're describing, we will NOT fill your order.

 

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STOP!! READ!!

Did you actually READ all that bold print just above? We are becoming extremely irritated with customers who ignore the warning above, and order fake drug prescriptions for things like "Cold Medicine", or "Flu Pills". It takes time and effort to cancel your orders and issue refunds; to put it bluntly: We're tired of it! We are considering pulling this product altogether. Another option might be to publicly post the order data of those who ignore this warning and order things like "oral diabetes medication" or whatever else that could even remotely cause harm.

Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.

*Customer's First Name	39 characters remaining.
*Customer's Last Name	30 characters remaining.
*Email:
*Name on Label	30 characters remaining.
*Street Address
*For what disease/affliction? (i.e. stupidity, impotence, etc.)	30 characters remaining.
*Dosage (take 10 per day, etc)	84 characters remaining.
*Sticker	-= Select =- None This Prescription may be refilled ___ times For vaginal use only For rectal use only May cause discoloration of urine/feces Some non-prescription drugs may aggravate your condition POISON
Date on Label (if any)
Doctor's name (if any)
*I understand I must check email within 12-24 hrs after placing this order in case there is a question concerning my order	Yes
*I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes	Yes

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