Win Bets! Invitations!
Scare Friends! Trick Criminals Announcements! Get Confessions!
Predict the Future!
Influence World Events!
Humiliate Your Neighbors! Expose Political Corruption!
Affect Local Property Values! Test Your Significant Other! Advertise Your Business! Create Publicity Stunts! Be Nice to Your Mom!
Express Your Views!
Roast a Colleague!
Honor a Retiree! Cause Trouble! Prove a Point! Impress Guys! Get Revenge!
Flatter Girls!
Be RIGHT!
Propose!
Personalized Fake and Joke Newspapers and Personalized Newspapers and Personalized Headlines for Gags and Gifts, Birthdays, Movies and Plays, Advertising, Publicity Stunts, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Stag Parties, Corporate Recognition, Awards, Thank You's, Revenge, Make a Point, Birth and Death Announcements, Wedding and Marriage Announcements, Practical Jokes, Cerebral Terrorism, Personalized Birthday Gags, Gifts. Fake Newspapers available in Small (pocket clipping) size, Full single page, Whole newspaper, Giant Poster, and Tabloid (by special request)
Buy the DNA
Collection kit. Use the detailed instructions, showing your victim how
to collect DNA from the inside of the mouth. Collect your victim's DNA, make a show of mailing the samples "back to the lab", then throw the whole goobery mess away..
In a week or
ten days, announce that you've recieved the results. --Comes with everything you need to "prove" a 99.9% match or a mis-match, at your discretion. If you want
NOT to be related to your little demon-spawn brother, show him the certificate
proving he's NOT of your royal blood (why, he must be adopted after all!)
Or would you
rather your ex-girlfriend's child be yours? The test will
show a DNA match or mis-match, at YOUR discretion!
A great joke
to pull on your friends, soon-to-be-EX-friends and soon-to-be EX-family
members. Just remember:
The possibilities are limited only by your imagination!
Usually ships
same day, always within 72 hours.
Ships in a plain box!
In
the Kit...
What
the heck's in the test kit, anyhow?
Each
kit contains all the goodies you need to utterly convince your mark
the test they're taking is legitimate. An instruction sheet is included which denotes that the test is a joke/gag product, not to be taken seriously. No other documentation inside the box, reveals that the test is not authentic. You receive two certificates: one for a "match", and one for a "mis-match". Use the one you want and discard the other. Each certificate shows a legal disclaimer at the very top of the page, as shown below. We've heard rumors that some customers have gone to the store and acquired a mysterious implement called SCISSORS, and have then CUT THAT PART OFF. Far be it from us to ever even remotely suggest such a thing, as it is almost certainly illegal and we have no doubt there's an entire government agency devoted exclusively to things like this, and they would immediately surround your home with an FBI SWAT team which would shoot first and ask questions later.
If you like a gag with class, this is for you.
CAUTION:
This item
has the potential to be used irresponsibly. By clicking the
"SUBMIT" button below, you agree not to use this product for purposes
which may be illegal, immoral, fraudulent or hurtful to others. Like
almost any item in existence, this product may be used for fun or
for evil, depending solely on the intentions of the user. It is designed
as a novelty/gag device. Be sure your "mark" has a sense
of humor before unleashing this product upon them!
IMPORTANT: The purpose of a DNA test, or, in this case, a fake DNA test, is to determine if two separate people are related. We see orders come through our system regularly in which the customer inserts the same name for both donor fields. Perhaps they have some reason for completing the form in this manner, but we cannot imagine what it is. We fill all orders exactly as the customer stipulates, so if you type the same name into both donor fields, your certificates will bear the same name in both donor fields, exactly as supplied to us. However, please be sure this is what you intend to do!
$22.95 each
Item Number --- FT-3
Fake DNA Paternity Test
Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.