The Weirdest, Most Unique Gifts and Gags in the World

Strange But True (Guaranteed)

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton.

And, the best for last..... Turtles (like politicians) can breathe through their butts.

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--
who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like
all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown


2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension
and you get a headache, do what it says on the
aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from
children"
--Author Unknown


3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called
EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey


4) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
--Rod Stewart


5) "The problem with the designated driver program,
it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get
sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of
the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy


6) "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain
and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a
time."
--Robin Williams


7) "If a woman has to choose between catching a
fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose
to save the infant's life without even considering if
there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry


8) "What do people mean when they say the computer
went down on them?"
--Marilyn Pittman


9) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time
job, and we should treat it like one. If your
boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give
you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,
and before they leave you, they should have to find
you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger


10) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when
someone took her out in the lake and threw her off
the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you
how to swim."
--Paula Poundstone


11) "A study in the Washington Post says that
women have better verbal skills than men. I just want
to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien


12) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh
my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery


13) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch
of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the
crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough.
Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni


14) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and
all the impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson


15) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us
geography."
--Paul Rodriguez


16) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but
they turned sixty, and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld


17) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that
in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is
the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson


18) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde


19) "Suppose you were an idiot . . . . And suppose
you were a member of Congress . . . . But I repeat
myself."
--Mark Twain


20) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high
school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown


21) "Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word
meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his
wallet."
--Robin Williams


22) "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I
think of it as the only time of the month that I can
be myself."
--Roseanne


23) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place."
--Billy Crystal


24) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the
dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're
right! I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry


25) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad
Cow Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased

 

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