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FV-47d Santa Killer, Performed by April W. (below) *Text and Video Copyright © 2007 Channel54News.com™ A tragic story coming into the channel 54 newsroom now… a deadly shooting has just taken place a few miles north of Nome, Alaska and a suspect is in custody at this hour. Reports are that the world’s jolliest fat man has been killed. Santa Claus has been known to harness his team of reindeer for test and training flights over the north slope to keep them in shape for the Christmas season. Local residents have always enjoyed the sight of Santa and sleigh zooming over the misty peaks, sometimes dropping low enough to pepper the countryside with the tiny gifts his elves have made in their spare time. It seems however that one person took exception to the harmless over-flights and authorities believe that’s when this individual, now informally dubbed "the grinch", boarded a commercial airliner to fly into Nome last night. Authorities say that as Santa flew overhead early this morning, the suspect opened up with a Remington .338 magnum rifle. Witnesses claim Donner was the first to go down, but within seconds all reindeer were hit and augured toward the earth like a sputtering fireworks rocket. Forensics teams are on the scene but it is not known if Santa was mortally wounded from a bullet or died from the impact. Tragically, two elves were also found in the wreckage with their tiny heads blown almost completely off. Locals are understandably outraged at the murders but authorities are baffled as to how to charge the suspect. The U.S. government does not acknowledge the existence of Saint Nick, or flying reindeer for that matter, although authorities do acknowlege that Mickey Rooney was proof-positive that elves exist -- at least bad ones, but with regard to Santa himself, prosecutors maintain it is judicially impossible to kill someone who doesn't exist. The suspect, shown here for the first time, was heard murmuring, "that'll be the end of thet trespassing sumbitch, I guess". Passing Inuits are said to have given the killer a high-five as he was being arrested. Friends and family of the murdering scumbag have planned a party upon the killer's imminent release and return home, while children across the country mourn the loss of capitalism's greatest advertising coup ever, and merchants and retailers in every Christian nation have begun to flock to medical centers around the world to dramatically increase the dosages of their Prozac prescriptions. This is Casey Miles for Channel 54 News. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
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Clip ID: FV-47d (NOTE: This selection calls for a snapshot of Santa's Killer) ORDER $55.00 / DVD Ships in 12-72 hrs
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New Titles Added as Time Allows
You'll Need a Flash Player to View These Videos. Get the Latest Free Version HERE
You only need a snapshot of your "victim" to order! --No text to type, no story to make up.
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