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Personalized Newspapers, Magazines, Giant Checks & Breaking News Videos by TrixiePixGraphics.com™ FakeNewspapers.com™ Channel54News.com™ Gag Gifts & Art, More Fun than a Halter-Top Full of Ferrets Ask a Question    View Cart/Checkout     About Shipping Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - Fake Ultrasounds KubeKompanions TrixiePixGraphics™     Store Rating       International Sales Info Jump to Channel 54 News™ Personalized Breaking News Videos This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics. All Rights Reserved.

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FV-29 Condom Thief, Performed by Samantha S. (below)
*Text and Video Copyright © 2007 Channel54News.com™
A massive hunt is underway at this hour for an individual police say has shoplifted over $14,000 in merchandise from local stores and pharmacies in recent months. One thing in particular about the thefts gives authorities pause for curiosity...and fear. It seems the suspect only steals condoms. According to reports, the perpetrator has stolen a variety of condoms including glow-in-the-dark, scented, and even edible, chocolate-coated varieties. According to police, the only thing the condoms had in common is that they were all size extra small. The suspect has stolen tens of thousands of tiny condoms, but police wonder if they have been used for actual intercourse, and if not, then for what? a local psychologist involved in the case explained that a person who does this is usually engaging in a case of wishful thinking on a grandiose scale. Still, this whack-job needs to be stopped. If you have any information on the whereabouts of the suspect shown here on your screen for the first time, investigators ask that you call 911 immediately, because it's clear that no one this homely should ever have sex. This is Casey Miles reporting for channel 54 news. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

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