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Letterman Award

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us:

Here are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
 
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space...understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.  (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse-snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Yipsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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Personalized Fake and Joke Newspapers and Personalized Newspapers and Personalized Headlines for Gags and Gifts, Birthdays, Movies and Plays, Advertising, Publicity Stunts, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Stag Parties, Corporate Recognition, Awards, Thank You's, Revenge, Make a Point, Birth and Death Announcements, Wedding and Marriage Announcements, Practical Jokes, Cerebral Terrorism, Personalized Birthday Gags, Gifts. Fake Newspapers available in Small (pocket clipping) size, Full single page, Whole newspaper, Giant Poster, and Tabloid (by special request)

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Fake Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates

May be used as a gag stag party gift or to roast a friend on their birthday, etc.

Personalized

Fake Diplomas

Certificates are pressure embossed with a
notary-type stamp in the upper left

These are not legal documents and will not be
accepted by any government agency as such.
In fact, you'll probably end up in "Terrorist
Jail" if you try to pass one.

We're sorry we even have to add this caveat: NO! We will NOT fill your order for a diploma from the "School of Engineering" in Dubai or Iraq! Our certificates are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. If it's not obvious that you intend to use this product for humorous purposes, your order will be cancelled.

George W. Bush Graduates from Ninja SchoolFake Diploma, Blue

Fake Diploma, Close Up


NOTICE: Please do not inquire about one-of-a-kind certificates. We make no certificates that do not have a mass market

Small print reads:
Has Successfully Completed the Course of Study Prescribed by this Institution and is Therefore Entitled to this Diploma AS Testimony Whereof We Have Hereunder Affixed Our Signature(s) This ________ Day of ____________, _____, at ___________________________


Ninja School, School of Ass-Kissing, Pervert School, Makeout School, Astronaut School, Spelling School, Niceness School, School of Tact, Stoopid School, Sex School, Computer Skool, Liar's School, Drinker's School, Crazy Driver's Education, How to Skip School School...

You can think of millions more. Frame one and display it next to the professional
diplomas in your office to see how long it takes before someone notices.

 

People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic.

People also often ask if fake diploma certificates are "legal".
Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure)
Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.
Our fake certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either.

NOTE:

The embossed seal says, "Certified [SEAL] Document".

You'll receive three certificates, all of which are printed on "High Security Paper", which is a peculiar stock into which many anti-copy schemes are incorporated.

For instance:

(1) When held under a black light a series of tiny red threads become visible.
(2) A large "VOID" appears in the background in four positions when the document has been photocopied.
(3) Micro text is printed across the entire document which disappears when rubbed.
(4) "OFFICIAL DOCUMENT" icon disappears when rubbed.
(5) Double Ghost Watermark is printed on backs.
(6) Blue Security Background.
(7) Security Information border.

If all security features are intact, the document has not been copied.

We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc..
"Fake Diploma Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.
What our customers say about us.

More Certificates

NOTE: When filling in your personalization form
you may NOT use the name of any existing school!

Certificate Number FC-24

View Next Certificate   Certificates, Next Page

Diplomas Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.
*Customer's First Name
39 characters remaining.
*Customer's Last Name
30 characters remaining.
*Email:
School Name
30 characters remaining.
City and State
30 characters remaining.
School Type
30 characters remaining.
*Name of Recipient
30 characters remaining.
Day of Graduation
30 characters remaining.
Month of Graduation
12 characters remaining.
Year of Graduation
4 characters remaining.
Location of Graduation
30 characters remaining.
*I understand I must check
email within 12-24 hrs after
placing this order in case
there is a question
concerning my order
Yes
Verify Authentication Code:  

The image below depicts all customizable fields. They're shown in Arial red in this example, but print in Old English dark blue (like the word "DIPLOMA").

The image above depicts all customizable fields. They're shown in Arial red in this example, but print in Old English dark blue (like the word "DIPLOMA").

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