Everything
I know About FLYING (after your friend landed gear-up at his home airport)
Everything I know About COOKING (after your mother-in-law's disastrous
dinner party)
Everything I know About DIPLOMACY (by YOU!) (after the fight you started
the other night)
Everything I know About COMPUTERS (by the guy who supposedly fixed yours)
Everything I know About SOFTWARE PROGRAMMING (by Bill Gates) (oops)
Everything
I know About SPOTTING SPEED TRAPS (after your hubby's huge ticket)
Everything I know About ROMANCE (by your EX boyfriend)
Everything I know About FISHING (after your husband gets skunked)
Everything I know About DEFENSIVE DRIVING (after that fender-bender)
Everything I know About BRIDGE (by the losing club)
Everything
I know About HUNTING (by, who else, your husband)
Everything I know About YACHTING (after that incident on the rocks)
Everything I know About SELF DEFENSE (after your boyfriend gets mugged)
Everything I know About HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS (ahem)
Everything I know About WORKING HARD (for the slacker in your office)
Everything
I know About GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT (by you know who)
Everything I know About LOGIC (by your stupid, STUPID boyfriend)
Everything I know About FORGIVENESS (by your stupid, STUPID boyfriend)
Everything I know About LOVE (by the jerk who dumped you)
Everything I know About PERSONAL HYGIENE (by the stinker at work)
Everything
I know About HONESTY (by the stinker at work)
Everything I know About COMPETENCE and WORK ETHICS (by the stinker at
work)
Everything I know About ABSTINENCE (by the your cousin the slut)
Everything I know About HONOR (by the stinker at work)
Everything I know About MONOGAMY (by you-know-who)
Everything
I know About MEN (by your stupid girlfriend)
Everything I know About FOREPLAY (by your ham-fisted boyfriend)
Everything I know About FOOTBALL (after their team loses big)
Everything I know About GOLF (by your partner who cost you the tournament)
Everything I know About COMMITMENT (by your cheating ex)
Everything
I know About DISCRETION (by the friend who spilled your secret)
Everything I know About MAKING BABIES (by your son-in-law with the low
sperm count)
Everything I know About HARD WORK (by your lazy nephew)
Everything I know About FRIENDSHIP (by your turncoat ex-bud)
Everything I know About SAFE SEX (by your friend with the, uh, social
disease)
Everything
I know About STAYING FIT (by the fat slob who's been harassing you)
Everything I know About THE LAW (by the judge who stupidly ruled against
you)
Everything I know About BIRTH CONTROL (by your friend who's pregnant
AGAIN)
Everything I know About THE MATING HABITS OF THE INVISIBLE PERUVIAN
IMP FISH
Everything I know About PASSION in MARRIAGE (by your frigid wife)
Everything
I know About RELAXATION (by your workaholic mate, friend or relative)
Everything I know About DRINKING (by your coworker who barfed at the
office party)
Everything I know About FASHION (by the worst-dressed
person you know)
Everything I know About ANOREXIA (by the fat slob who's been harassing
you)
Everything I know About FAILURE (by the winner in your life)
Everything
I know About INTELLIGENT THINKING (you know who it's by)
Everything I know About SUCCESS (by the dismal failure in your life)
Everything I know About MANNERS & ETIQUETTE (by the slob in your
life)
Everything I know About THE SOCIAL GRACES (by the social clod in your
life)
Everything I know About COMPASSION (by your boss)
Everything
I know About FINE DINING (by Ronald McDonald)
Everything I know About SKIING (by your friend who broke a leg)
Everything I know About DEALING DRUGS (by your cousin who got busted)
Everything I know About COVERT ASSASSINATIONS (by a really mild mannered
friend)
Everything I know About LSD (by your 82 y/o grandmother)
Everything
I know About SKYDIVING (by your 83 y/o grandfather)
Everything I know About SEXUAL BONDAGE & TORTURE (by the prude in
your life)
Everything I know About THE HONOR ROLL (by the flunker in your life)
Everything I know About EDUCATION (by the high school dropout in your
life)
Everything I know About QUANTUM PHYSICS (by just about anyone in your
life)
Everything
I know About THE MONASTERY (by your playboy friend)
Everything I know About POKER (by the guy you took for $1100 the other
night)
Everything I know About BOWLING (for the gutter-ball King)
Everything I know About DEEP SEA DIVING (by your aunt who never learned
to swim)
Everything I know About LOOSE WOMEN & BOOZE (by the minister with
a sense of humor)
Everything
I know About BRITNEY SPEARS' BEHIND (for the teenager who lusts for
Britney)
Everything I know About HONG KONG'S NIGHTLIFE (for your Puritan friend)
Everything I know About THE MUSTANG RANCH & BROTHEL (by another
Puritan friend)
Everything I know About LIVING HEALTHY (by the upcoming triple bypass
patient in your life)
Everything I know About MEDICINE (by the doctor in your life)
Everything
I know About ALIEN ABDUCTIONS (by just about anyone)
Everything I know About TEENAGE GIRLS (by any teenage boy)
Everything I know About WILLPOWER (by the smoker in your life)
Everything I know About SOBRIETY (by the alcoholic in your life)
Everything I know About PEACEFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION (by the bar brawler
in your life)
Everything
I know About ORGIES (by the virgin in your life)
Everything I know About FINE MUSIC (by the punk-rocker in your life)
Everything I know About GOOD CREDIT (by the slob who owes you money)
Everything I know About SKYDIVING (for the aunt afraid of heights)
Everything I know About SNIFFING GLUE (by the health nut in your life)
Everything
I know About THE DEVIL (by the born-again in your life)
Everything I know About OPTIMISM (by the pessimist in your life)
Everything I know About POLYSULFIDE ADHESIVES (by just about anyone
in your life)
Everything I know About OPULENT WEALTH (by just about anyone in your
life)
Everything I know About SIMPLE HUMAN COURTESY (by the asshole in your
life)
Everything
I know About EVERYTHING (by the know-it-all in your life)
Everything I know About OVERCOMING ADVERSITY
(by the incurable whiner)
Everything I know About REALITY (by a ditzy airhead)
Everything I know About HOLDING MY LIQUOR (by the office-party slut)
Everything I know About GOOD TASTE (by the social terrorist in your
life)
Everything
I know About ANIMAL RIGHTS (by the shameless carnivore in your life)
Everything I know About THE GOLDEN RULE
(by the jackass in your life)
Everything I know About THE SECOND COMMANDMENT (by the sailor's-mouth
in your life)
Everything I know About THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT (for the wanton killer
in your life)
Everything I know About THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT (thou shall not commit
adultery)
Everything
I know About THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT (thou shall not steal)
Everything I know About THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT
(for the lying weasel in your life)
Everything I know About THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (by the total slime-ball)
Everything I know About BEING GOOD (by the bad girl)
Everything I know About BALANCING MY CHECKBOOK (by the habitually overdrawn)
Everything
I know About INSECTS OF THE CONGO (by who knows)
Everything I know About SEX, DRUGS and
ROCK & ROLL (by the nice girl)
Everything I know About THE RAPID TREATMENT OF SNAKEBITE WOUNDS
Everything I know About PERSONAL FINANCIAL SECURITY (by the pauper in
your life)
Everything I know About MAKING IT BIG IN STOCKS & BONDS (by the
guy who lost big)
Everything
I know About MODERN WARFARE (by the Iraqi Army)
Everything I know About UNBIASED NEWS REPORTING
(by Al-Jazeera TV)
Everything I know About UNBIASED NEWS REPORTING (by CNN)
Everything I know About CREDIBILITY (by Geraldo Rivera)
Everything I know About MODESTY and GOOD TASTE (by Madonna)
Everything I know About BABIES
Everything I know About PARENTING